A series of improbably bad fortune cookie fortunes

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#1

In honor of that American invention, the fortune cookie, I propose the construction of improbable fortunes. Your job as the next poster in this thread is to write a new fortune which includes one key word from the previous fortune.

So, if I were to write: An inexplicable noise will disrupt your sleep two nights from now

you might write a fortune that said:

You will buy noise-cancelling headphones soon but they will not work.

or perhaps:

While you are scrubbing your bathroom, an inexplicable odor will permeate your nostrils.

So I’ll go first:

The next time you pick up your car keys, they will be oddly sticky.

#2

You will have many friends, but none of them will loan you money.

-“BB”-

#3

You will make money today but all of it will be uncomfortably sticky.

#4

I’ll go off the OP sinnce the previous poster didn’t do it right.

The next time you come to this restaurant, you will order the sticky rice

#5

You will eat in a restaurant that failed its health inspection.

#6

You’re eating this food and fortune cookie, so your health aspects aren’t looking too good.

#7

You will eat another fortune cookie after this one.

(I like @Grrr 's approach of bolding the word taken from the previous post.)

#8

A tracking cookie will cause you minor inconvenience in the next few days.

#9

You will experience a minor but exceptionally annoying injury to your left big toe.

#10

One of your grandchildren will experience an injury relating to a somewhat frowsy-looking chicken.

#11

You will have many grandchildren due to an accident at a fertility clinic.

#12

Sadly, a mutant strain of mosquitoes with greatly enhanced fertility will invade your home and be impossible to eradicate.

#13

Due to a miscommunication with your doctor, a part of your body will be enhanced without your consent.

#14

Your doctor will give you a very pessimistic diagnosis.

#15

You will soon receive a diagnosis of Wernberger-Chonk syndrome, which causes a progressively more intense tendency to burp at stoplights.

#16

From now on stoplights hate you with an intensity strong enough to block out the sun.

#17

I apologize for my failed first attempt… mea culpa.

In play:

The sun will come up, and so will this dinner.

-“BB”-

#18

You lack the will to live. Buy a dog.

#19

If you love dogs, then you loved your dinner.

#20

Sometime next week, your dinner companion will accuse you of embezzling.