Another Fortune Cookie Thread.

I know these threads come up once in awhile but I gotta post.

I had some carry out the other night and it came with two fortune cookies. Cool. I love fortune cookies, they tast good (yes they do too!) PLUS they are amusing when playing the “in bed” game.

These left me scratching my head though. Mind you, both start and end in a smilie face… as though all is good.

Cookie #1: “Society prepares the crime: the criminal commits it.”
-WHAT THE HELL? what does that mean? Am I Society preparing crime or am I the Criminal? Either way… how is that a fortune? …thats kinda creepy!..

Cookie #2 “Maybe you can live on the moon in the next century.”
-WTF is that about?? Is that SARCASM in my fortune cookie? Come next century I will be 133 years old and significantly dead for years and years. It just smacks at unprovoked sarcasm. BTW I have NEVER complained about my apartment… its a great apartment.
Damn. Anybody else get any odd ones lately?

“You hold in your hand the wisdom of the universe.”

That’s pretty damn important. This leads me to believe that all the wisdom in the universe is:

  1. Not much, or;
  2. Invisible and either really small or really light.

Because till then, I hadn’t noticed.

I’ve got four stuck up on my cubicle wall, complete with my own annotation:

You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty. Yeah, right!

You like sunshine and fresh air. Congratulations! You’re not mold!

A way out of a financial mess is discovered as if by magic. ALAKAZAM! PRESTO!

**Everyone agrees you are the best. ** About freakin’ time!

Your OP mentions that these have been around before, but since I can’t remember contributing to older threads, these two are my faves.

One is accompanied by a photo of a cleaned plate with chopsticks lying across it and a reddish stain on the plate that resembles sweet and sour sauce residue. The cookie has just been opened and the fortune paper is stretched between two hands holding it. It reads: “That wasn’t chicken.”

The other fortune simply says, “It’s a bad day to be superstitious.”

Nah, it’s just recursive. What you’re holding in your hand, the fortune cookie message, is the wisdom of the universe. However, the message isn’t going to tell you anything useful, just that it is the wisdom of the universe. You then have to decide if all fortune cookies contain parts of the wisdom of the universe or just this one.

Someday, I want to get a fortune cookie that just says 42.

I had once that I had taped on the dashboard of my old car:

Pride is the enemy that holds your hand.

I was like, DAMN. Next week we are eating at El Chico!

Wow…talk about the perfect fortune for the “…in bed” game!

Odd fact: I have saved every fortune I’ve cracked out of a cookie for the past 10 years and plan to someday plaster a wall with them.


No idea. It just sounded fun.


Waitaminnit – “everyone?”

I hear you get around… I hear things… thats all im sayin’…

There’s mild fortune cookies and then there’s the bad cookies.

Your penis is the wisdom? (this is if you are a guy)