At least that’s what my fortune cookie says.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”
Well, seeing as how I’m perfect, I doubt I’ll stop doing what I’ve always done.
Oh well, at least I have my lucky numbers.
Maybe it’s just me, but that doesn’t seem like a fortune. It’s more of an aphorism. I can’t think when the last time was that I got an actual fortune in a fortune cookie.
You know, all you folks like to complain about not getting real fortunes, but I wonder what you’d do if you ever got one. I used to complain about aphorism cookies, too, until one day I got one that read “there is a nice cake waiting for you.” Guess what?
No cake. For three months.
Be grateful your cookies are vague. Mine are liars.
Don’t make us out to be the bad guys. That cake waited for you for THREE MONTHS. You just couldn’t find it. 
:eek: Are you saying the cake is a lie?
You were supposed to go get it. It was waiting for you, not looking for you. You weren’t expecting it to walk in on its cake legs, were you?
Fortune cookies never lie. 
And your post cracked me up. Thanks.
I will never forget the day I cracked open a fortune cookie and read, “Support adult literacy - Buy a box of fortune cookies!”
My wife got a strange one last week
“When leaving your house tomorrow, take an immediate left.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
This line made me laugh so hard. Would you mind terribly if I used this for my sig?
Knock yourself out. I used to work in a Chinese restaurant and have a ton of cookie-related stories.
Maybe it went with the one I got that said, “Romance is waiting around the corner.” I sure would have appreciated some direction as to which corner and what Romance would look like. I’m sure I walked right on by it.
What if the cookies lead you to a romance with your lawn gnome?
My first interpretation is “Same Sh!t, Different Year”
I once got a fortune that said I would “soon be heading to a land of sunshine,” right before I left for the Caribbean. Since the trip had already been months in the planning, was that really a fortune, or was somebody in the fortune cookie factory spying on me?
On a positive note, you can’t get a STD from lawn gnomes (unless you consider splinters an STD).
“You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.”
Without Chinese buffets, I would never have come to realize this essential truth.