Swampy, I am not hugely sympathetic either. We all knew it would end and it would be messy, so how exactly she thought it was going to be all fluffy and rosy is anybody’s guess. I think the problem really is that he took the passive-aggressive route and simply stopped getting in touch with her, leaving her to be chasing him for contact all the time. It makes her come across as desperate and needy, and of course sets him up with the perfect excuse to dump her.
I will be sympathetic up to a point, but after that, she’s on her own with it.
Long ago, when I was young and stupid, I was involved in something like this, although, it was purely an emotional affair. Intellectually, you always know that it’s not going to be fluffy and rosy, but emotionally… It’s exciting. Especially if you and the (usually) pompous idiot that you’re involved with have little or no self-esteem. This makes you feel better on some level, but it’s always a double edged sword. “If only… What if…, etc.” If you don’t believe that you can do any better, then this is where you go. And, incidentally, in my case, I didn’t start it, I was solicited by this person. TVMan knows about this, he’s actually met him and he’s a friend of mine on fb, but I don’t think he’ll ever change. As a matter of fact, from some of the comments I see on his fb page, I gather that he still has that same relationship going with other women despite having left his first wife to marry his second one.
So, I don’t think there’s anything that you can do, as a friend, just try not to say “I told you so” too many times.
I was thinking about what I said above. I didn’t mean to imply in any way that what I did was the right thing to do, whether he solicited me or the other way around. It was awful, and heart-wrenching and years and years of hell. Definitely a bad idea.
In other news, sometimes you’ve just gotta laugh. My grandparents take the dogs out for a walk every morning. This morning, they started to walk out without the dogs.
I’ve been with my current company for 3 years and 8 months, have been in my field for 12 years, and have been working full-time for 17 years. Seeing some of the numbers y’all are throwing around makes me feel like just a kid…thank you!
Ham sammiches sound pretty darn good to me today, swampy! Instead, I have a big can of Campbell’s Chunky “baked potato with cheddar and bacon bits” soup. The full-calorie, full-fat, full-sodium version, so hopefully it will be tasty. (I tried their lower-sodium/“light” clam chowder last month and it was bleh.)
Nava, I have a master’s degree in English but no wisdom for you regarding word counts. I’m not an academic writer at all: it’s been two years and I still can’t believe I managed to write and submit an acceptable thesis, and that I actually graduated. FWIW, the university dictated what format the thesis had to be in but not how long it had to be: that was decided between myself and the members of my committee.
I’ve never been involved with a married man, but I came close on two occasions. Thank goodness nothing ever happened with either of them! I don’t feel any obligation to honor their vows, but that kind of situation can’t become anything other than a great big mess. Plus I’m just selfish enough to want my partners to be committed to only, you know, me.
It has been pointed out that it’s possible my back gate was left open by a meter reader. I didn’t think that they started before 7:30am, but I plan to call the power and gas companies today and see if they can tell me whether either meter was read early yesterday morning. I hope it was a meter reader, because that’s much better than some random stranger being in my back yard in the middle of the night! I’ll probably still look into locking the gate overnight, though. In the meantime, now when I let the doggy out back I hold her collar until I step outside and see that the gate is closed. I don’t think the doggy likes it, but she’ll just have to deal with it until I get a lock.
So, am I the only Mumper who doesn’t do the morning caffeine thing?
Nope. It wreaks havoc on my body later if I do. I just went back to morning coffee three weeks ago, and had a bad headache for two weeks straight. Caffeine does that to me. So I’m detoxing again: hopefully this time for good.
I’m also on my third day of attempting vegetarianism. For a lifelong carnivore, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I hope it works better than that low-carb diet I tried a few years ago. I was totally unbearable and impossible to live with. If you would have looked up bitch in the dictionary, my picture would have been there. It was horrible!
Ack, I totally meant to mention swampy’s interview: I, too, hope it turns out better than you expect!
I just called the power and gas companies: my back gate was not left open by a meter reader. Definitely getting a lock. Definitely.
Good luck with the caffeine detox and the vegetarianism, Ann! I’ve never been a coffee person, so I’ve never had to deal with that particular monkey (we can’t get away from monkeys this week!), but I highly doubt that I could ever be a vegetarian. I could probably give up beef (I say after having had a burger for dinner last night), but chicken would be really hard…and turkey would be damn near impossible. I eat enough turkey sandwiches to make Les Nesman say, “Oh, the humanity!” I have a lot of respect for people who are able to do it!
Love it!!
(I’m a software tech writer, so I have a degree of sympathy. :))
I like that Berard guy (functional analyst, and the dissertation compares three programs in terms of usability - if anybody is interested, the one that’s been losing market share like a sieve and whose main selling point is “we’re the biggest boy in this sandbox” is a POS).
On another note; any Mumpers or lurkers out there active with your local Boy Scouts, please give me a PM. We have some stuff to get rid of at work your local merit badge program could maybe use. We just don’t want it local for various reasons so shipping is actually preferred. Pardon delays to any notes as I am heading for Knoebels and KielbasaFest starting late tonight and will not be near a computer until Monday.
I went caffeine free for a few months this spring but fell off the wagon in June. I drink black tea so it’s not as much caffeine as coffee, but I just really like having a hot drink first thing in the morning and can’t give that up.
I finished knitting another baby blanket last night. For those with a Ravelry account, there are pictures here. I’m thinking I need to try to learn to knit socks now. I started the ankle of one sock last fall but that was right when I found out about all the babies that were coming this spring so I’ve had a year of baby blanket making instead.
Swampy influenced my lunch decision today: I decided to ditch the soup in favor of a ham sammich, which I have already decimated! I can have the soup tomorrow. I love ham, but hardly ever get ham sandwiches…probably because I love turkey even more.
Grr, I just checked my camera. I was going to delete some pics that I recently downloaded from the camera sim card. It wouldn’t turn on, so I changed the batteries, still wouldn’t turn on, tried other batteries that I know are new, still won’t turn on. I used it recently and I’m pretty sure nothing happened to it. It’s probably not worth fixing a 3 year old $100 camera but I don’t want to have to buy a new one either. Technology hates me.
Well, SZ just called. The doc said it was a reactive lymph node. Thank God, he doesn’t think it’s cancer, but he sent a sample off to Atlanta to be sure. He said most of the time they just leave them be, but since his was growing, they might go ahead and remove it. We’ll know more on that Friday.
Thanks for the prayers: it’s not over yet, but good news so far!
I’m not an academic writer at all: it’s been two years and I still can’t believe I managed to write and submit an acceptable thesis, and that I actually graduated. FWIW, the university dictated what format the thesis had to be in but not how long it had to be: that was decided between myself and the members of my committee.