A strange tale about a (former) friend...(longish)

I’d like to share this tale about a former friend; if you have any comments on my reactions, please feel free to share.

A co-worker introduced me to the world of online gaming back in 1994; mostly because, in hindsight, I think she wanted someone to discuss things with who would know/understand what she was talking about. By online gaming, I’m talking about the role-playing games like MUSES & MUSHES. I quickly became very immersed in them, staying online till the wee hours, etc. I will say that this particular co-worker and I were never close friends before, but after I became involved in the games, we started hanging out together quite a bit; however, our relationship, such as it was, was mostly based on sharing info about gaming, etc.

About a year later, as I’m still very immersed in the games, we had a falling out–names were called on both sides and feelings were hurt; we stopped talking to each other, and just avoided each other altogether at work. At the same time, though, I was having problems with my gallbladder and had to have gallbladder surgery. When I went in for my surgery, I guess I had a “change of heart” about my friend, and called her from the hospital and apologized. She came to see me, brought me gifts, and we were back to being friends, though I was still wary of her, as she did not apologize in return for what she had said. In hindsight, this was a mistake on my part–the surgery had, I guess, made me confront my own mortality and I guess I didn’t want to have hatred for her any more, so tried to “make nice.” It did turn out to be a mistake, though, and only lasted a few months. We had another falling out that was caused by me. I did something that I shouldn’t have and repeated things that I shouldn’t have (don’t want to go into any details); suffice to say that they were said and done in anger and hurt and to hurt and they did. After the immediate feelings of anger and hurt had cooled off, I did apologize, but by then found that I had unleashed the fury of Hell, unfortunately.

Maybe I deserved it, I’ll grant that; but this Hell went on and on… it seemed to be un-ending. Not only did I experience this person coming to my desk and cursing me out in front of other co-workers, she also trashed me online to anyone who knew my online characters in any game that she knew who they were. (If that makes any sense). She continued to harass me until she resigned from her job, which happened in late 1996, when she moved to another state.

For a while, things were okay, until she happened upon me online again, that is. Again, the harassment started, even sending threatening emails to me at my job. That was in March 1998. While I did report her to her ISP (at least the ISP she was using to send the harassing emails from) and I reported her, discretely, to the IT folks at my job, apart from that I have ignored the harassment, which is what I knew to be the best course of action and should work to keep it from happening again. Fortunately (KNOCK ON WOOD!), it has. So far.

I still wince when I think of this person, though, and admit to being scared that she will find me again. Even though it’s been nearly 5 years, I’d be willing to bet that she’d start in on a round of harassment again. Unfortunately, she does know my work email–I’m still at the same job and have the same email that I did back in 1994. Is there anything I can do to hopefully prevent any future occurrence of harassment? Am I being paranoid to worry about this person still? I realize I probably am, but honestly, this person scared me when I saw how obsessed she became with causing me harm. I even worried that she might try to harm my children. :frowning:

Gah, this is the first time I’ve shared this info in a while. I know I’m not looking like a nice person myself and will admit that what I did was not nice. I just want to live in peace and quiet, though, and not worry that this person might be waiting around the corner for me with a baseball bat.

I’ve finally found you again. Get ready for HELL.

Argh, Welby, that is -not- funny! :smiley:

I don’t think there’s much you can do short of blocking any non-work email. (You know, like blocking any domain other than your company, if that’s even a possibility.)

Sad to say, there’s not much you can do until she does something. The only thing you can do is not worry about it. By letting yourself get so worried about all this, you’re still letting her mess with your life. Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you just won’t care about her anymore, and if/when she does try to contact you, you’ll be able to say something like, “Good lord, are you still carrying on about this? Grow up.”

Here’s hoping she doesn’t find you, though. I had a psycho ex-friend who tried to email me after I hadn’t spoken to her in two years. I replied to her email, and very graciously told her that we could still be friends, but the fact that I was pressing charges against her for something (tampering with mail is a federal crime) and the fact that I thought she might need some serious psychological evaluation might put a damper on our friendship. She never bothered to reply.