A thread about birthcontrol, and my poor sister

The BBQ Pit
1

This is going to be a mild pit rant, so mild it might be mundane and pointless, so we will see how it goes.
My sister has two children soon to be three. She cannot afford one right now much less three. But I am not really pitting her.
I am pitting her birthcontrol.

Now the first two can be up to debate.

With her first child she was using the pill and got pregnant. She swears she used it correctly, and when we lived together I always notice she was consistent. Always took it in the morning at the same time. Thus I got my nephew.

Since she had been burned on birthcontrol, she beefed up security a little bit with spermicide, condoms and the pill. Of course it did not help that he was taking anti-biotics at the time. She went into the doctor for what she thought was the flu, and came out with a positive pregnancy. Her Doctor told her that he thought everyone knew you shoulnd’t mix antibiotics and the pill, and that she should have read the manual. Fair enough she said, but geez, pill condom and spermicide? Apparenty Her husband had supersperm. Her husband was less than pleased because he had 4 kids already from a previous marriage. She was young enough that the docs didn’t want to tie her tubes.

Well with this pregnancy she was in the hospital 4 months, lost 50 lbs. So they finally talked the Doctors into tying her tubes, because of all of her complications. So they tied her tubes and she was done having children.
So she went back to having regular everyday wet and nasty sex, and all was good, until her last child ( a daughter) was about one year old. All of the sudden she felt pregnant. But she couldn’t be because her tubes were tied right? She went through the surgery because of the complications of her last pregnancy, and she didn’t want to do that again. So just on a whim she took a pregnancy test, and was greeted with a big fat positive. But that couldn’t be because she had her tubes tied! Right?

Went to the doctor and low and behold she was indeed two months pregnant, and is already experiencing violent morning sickness like she did last time.

Damn, thats all I can say to the situation. She can’t catch a break.
She can barely afford the two she has. That was another reason she got her tubes tied. So there could be no more “how the hell did that happen” babies.

Now maybe she was messing up her birth contol the first two times. But hot damn on a stick, even after getting your tubes tied? She was more worried about wanting to reverse it one day, than getting pregnant again

I am worried about her because she is so sick already and has a hard enough time with not alot of support.:frowning:

Sorry if this is too mild for the pit, if its too mild could someone move it to mspims?

2

Jeez, that sucks. I hope things work out for her, and I’m glad she at least has a supportive sister around.

But I have to ask, if the husband had six kids, why didn’t he get a vasectomy? It’s a lot easier than tying a woman’s tubes.

3

Not wanting to be one of those who suggest sueing at the drop of a hat, but this sounds like a litigation just waiting to happen.

There have been cases where failed tubal ligations have resulted in the Dr’s having to pay for the maintenance and upkeep of a child concieved after such ‘failsafe’ surgery. It might be worth considering if she chooses to continue with the pregnancy.

I’m with you and your poor sister…it sounds like a terrible predicament to be in.

4

because “no one is touching my man parts with a knife”

thats an exact qoute. They are no longer together, he disapeared with a 16 year old before the second one was born. they have since divorced. She remarried a normal guy (thank the gods)

5

I’d have to say the chances of BOTH your sister’s husbands having supersperm would seem highly unlikely. My mother got pregnant on the Pill and with one tube tied (from an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed her) so I suppose it’s not unheard of, but geez-o-pete - BOTH tubes tied??

I’m with kambuckta here. Call an attorney.

6

Woah, hold up here.

She had her tubes tied and still got pregnant?

She needs a lawyer, PRONTO. If she can prove that the doctor messed up the surgery (and chances are he/she did) she has a case that would give even a female lawyer an erection. And dammit if the surgery was screwed up, she DESERVES to be compensated, heavily, for this unexpected kid she’s now financially responsible for. This is why the good Lord invented malpractice insurance.

I’m serious. Lawyer. Now now now!

7

OK, I have met my match. I managed to get pregnant three times in two years, once on the Pill, once on contraceptive foam and condoms used together, and once with an IUD in place. I had two miscarriages and carried one pregnancy to term. However, I’d say that your sister has me beat. I had my tubes tied over 20 years ago, and since then I’ve managed to stay child free.

I FEEL for your sister. By the way, I was using each BC method correctly, so I believe that it’s possible that she was doing everything right, too.

8

Not even surgical sterilization is 100% effective. Planned Parenthood gives the success rate as 99.5-99.9%. It’s really shitty to be in that .1-.5%, but I guess she should be glad that the pregnancy wasn’t ectopic (which is really common for post-tubal pregnancies).

9

Yoo-Hoo! Lawyers!

I think this is called “wrongful life”, and is quite actionable - at least if the Dr. screwed up. IIRC, the classic case was a dr. neatly tying a couple of ligaments instead of the fallopian tubes.

Another vote for “get a lawyer” - you may be looking at a very special version of malpractice.

10

Amen on the fact that BC is shoddy. My best friend took her pills RELIGIOUSLY at the same time every day. Her husband wore condoms occasionally, like when she was taking new medication or whenever it was around the “magic” time when it becomes easier to get pregnant.

One day she went to the doc and said “look, I’ve been sick with a flu for about a week now. Give me anything to make me feel better!”

So he wrote her a prescription for prenatal vitamins after running some tests, and told her “Congratulations. You fall in that 1%”.

Deadly, tell your sister to get a lawyer. If she’s struggling financially, and she’s made a serious effort to NOT get pregnant, she really needs to check out her options. I hope everything turns out well.

11

I only made it through one year of law school, but I recall that wrongful life is a cause of action filed by congenitally deformed or sick offspring. The corresponding cause of action for parents would be wrongful birth. In the case of a healthy child born after “sterilization,” the cause of action is “wrongful pregnancy” or “wrongful conception”; historically, recovery has been common, but large recoveries have not.

12

Stories like this keep me awake at night.

13

I’m hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes here, but this is exactly why I support a woman’s right to have a safe and legal abortion. Like kambuckta said, your sister might want to consider that option. Of course, she may have ethical reasons for not wanting to, and that’s perfectly valid. But every time one of my rabidly anti-abortion friends or co-workers starts in about shallow teenage girls wanting to have abortions so they can fit into their prom dresses, I try to remind them that situations like your sister’s are much more common and that although they still may not agree with my position, it bears keeping in mind that not every situation that could potentially end in abortion is completely black and white.

Sorry again if I’ve offended or upset anyone, but I felt I ought to speak my mind.

14

First of all, reading about her having lost 50 pounds from the last pregnancy, it sounds like she had hyperemesis gravidarum. Have you done any research on that condition? I have heard that many doctors don’t understand the disease and don’t treat it aggressively enough, so make sure that she is getting the right treatment. http://www.hyperemesis.org/ is a great source of info on the condition.

Maybe she should talk to the doc about having a c-section and getting her tubes taken out entirely at this birth. I’ve heard of them totally removing the tubes after a tubal ligation failure, to make SURE it can’t happen again.
Good luck to you guys. On the bright side, hopefully this baby is destined to be someone really special if s/he was able to beat the odds on a tubal ligation. :slight_smile:

15

Uncanny isn’t it. Some women spend $100,000 trying to concieve - and others go to great pains not to concieve and end up preggers.

One of my girlfriends gets pregnant every time her and her husband have unprotected sex. The first time. Took me three years to conceive my daughter.

I feel for your sister. Best wishes. She may want to look into a hysterectomy - far as I know, you can’t carry a baby without a uterus.

16

The lawyer route could end up being pretty time-consuming with little result. All consent forms signed for elective sterilization point out quite clearly that the procedure is not 100% effective. One would have to actually show evidence of improper performance of the procedure which resulted in fertility. Pregnancy itself is not such evidence.

BTW, most antibiotics don’t affect birth control pill effectiveness at all. Unless she was on rifampin or griseofulvin (unlikely) they wouldn’t have made a difference.

QtM, MD

17

My wife and I are another pair in the 1% club. Twice, as a matter of fact. Three forms of birth control each time, and two kids to show for it.

Her Doctor made clear to us, however, that the tubal and cauterization of each tube might not be 100% effective, as each woman is different. While smiling, he also said that he wasn’t going to pay for any little exceptions to the rule that came along after he’d done that procedure.

So far, he’s safe. :slight_smile:

18

Any chance of getting a cite for that Kambucta? Just curious as I have never, ever heard of such a thing. I’d be interested in hearing more about it. I signed a waiver when I had my ligation done and understood clearly that it might not work.

QtM mentioned that pregnancy itself is not evidence enough of an improper procedure having been done. As silly as that sounds, I also understand this to be the case through my ex-SIL who also became pregnant after tubal ligation. She was unsuccessful with her suit. She had difficulty even finding a lawyer who was willing to take the case, which should have been fair enough warning.

I feel for the OP’s sister though. Poor thing!

The pill failed me twice, although it all turned out well in the end and I was and am happy to be the mother of two boys.

My own ligation seems to be holding up fine so far. knocks on wood.

19

There have been cases where failed tubal ligations have resulted in the Dr’s having to pay for the maintenance and upkeep of a child concieved after such ‘failsafe’ surgery. It might be worth considering if she chooses to continue with the pregnancy.

Triss, I’ve got one for you. I can’t cite the court case as I don’t know the names involved. However, it happened in the city I live in about 20 years ago. The person that got nailed was a lawyer, not a doctor (although the doctor WOULD normally have been nailed). You’ll see why below (cut and paste from another thread):

A couple had 3 kids, didn’t want any more/couldn’t afford any more, so mom went in for a tubal. Doctor Tubal ended up cutting one fallopian tube twice, and didn’t touch the second one. Kid #4 is born not long after. Clear cut malpractice case, right?

The only problem is she had a really crappy lawyer who let the statute of limitations run out before he filed the malpractice case! By the time she finds out that she can’t sue Doctor Tubal, the good doctor is dead and buried in Florida.

So she sued Bad Lawyer. First they had to try Doctor Tubal’s malpractice case in front of a real jury and determine how much a jury would have given her. Then they had a second trial proving Bad Lawyer’s incompetence.

So Bad Lawyer’s malpractice insurance got hit, and hard. $1100 a month till the kid turned 18 … and in the early 80s, that was a shitload of money. Plus I believe they got a nice lump sum, too. It wasn’t an exhorbitant amount but certainly enough to raise kid #4, who is probably in college by now.

I know this story is about a lawyer, however it does show that yes, a doctor can get sued for a surprise pregnancy after a tubal if you can prove the doctor screwed up the procedure. Had the bad lawyer not let the SOL run out, it would have been the doctor’s insurance paying for the raising of kid #4.

20

My fifth was a BC baby. After having my fourth at ten and a half pounds the big joke was “Wow, I bet she waits a while for her next!”
At my six week check up I was pregnant and we were using the Mini pill, condoms, and I was nursing. Which I know isn’t a form of birthcontrol, but sometimes it does stop ovulation.
After that I got my tubes tied and no issues for six year. Now no worries about anything since this summer I had all those parts removed.
I was wondering how your sister had her tubes tied? Cut and burned or clamped?
Mine and my sisters were clamped and I had no issues, but she started having issues with hers and they went in to scope to see why she was having horrible pain in her right side.
Come to find out that her clamp fell off and had inbedded into something causing lots of pain.
Might I suggest if your sister had clamps that she get them checked to see if they are still in place?
Give me a holler if she needs anything in the way of baby clothes or other such items. I wish her luck and strength.