You can have my eyes all you want, m’dear. 
I still disagree with you 
(Oh, come on, it was merely a case of semantics. I’m sure you have better things to worry about than ripping the peepers of some poor shmoe who happens to have a different personal definition of a word.)
As I told WeirdDave, i’d give my thoughts on this, and so, here they are.
I think some gay men are femme because that’s just the way they are. I dont try to analyze how people act. I just think it’s just their personality. While I really havent met any femme straight men, i’m sure there are a few.
Personally, I am not at all flamboyant (ask any doper who has met me). I dont exhibit the stereotypical mannerisms or patterns of speaking.Why? It’s not because i dont want to be seen as femme or fear being like that, it’s just the way I am (I do find femme gay men interesting though).
My friend David on the other hand, who I now know is gay (refer to the “Ask The Gay Guy II” thread about my little confusion about him), does exhibit femme traits. He has a very soft voice, and he exhibits a lot of the mannerisms attributed to femme gay men (but, he’s not extremely flamboyant). In fact, we all would speculate about him. Why do I think he’s femme? I don’t know. Maybe growing up with his mother and sister contributed,or maybe he likes being that way,or maybe he’s just that way because that’s just how he is (i’d go with the latter).
I haven’t really thought about it, because it’s not something on my mind. I dont usually ask why people are the way they are, because it’s not something important for me to focus on. BUT, that’s not to say I haven’t speculated about people i’ve met, because I have. As other’s have said, stereotypes are around because sometimes they’re true.
I shouldn’t really veer off topic, but it doesn’t seem to be a crime around here.
I do know several really femme guys who say they are straight. When I was bartending, some of them would swish into a seat, and in a very lispy voice complain about their lack of luck with women. As god is my witness, I had no idea what to tell them. I’m thinking “Of course! Everything thinks you’re gay!”. Mind you, then they’d complain (in a lispy voice with lots of flamboyant hand gestures) that men kept thinking that they were gay, and they just didn’t understand why…
Nicely put, andy.
And yes, I do know a couple femme straight men. Including a very, very attractive one who sets my gaydar wonky. It’s very inconvenient.
SPOOFE Bo Diddly – not really, I’m THAT shallow! 
lolagranola – I have friends like that. And they really have no idea. This is just their normal way of behaving. They are not gay but everyone else thinks they are.
And I thought Gaydar was a joke… I could use a device like that; it sure as hell would solve a lot of “mistakes”.
on a tangential note: The new Oxford Compact English dictionary is out and has added the word gaydar.
http://www.cnn.com/2000/WORLD/europe/08/11/englandbook.reut/index.html
Gaydar, the device, is a relatively new thing.
Gaydar as the gay community knows it is the concept that you can pick out someone’s sexual orientation through their voice, mannerisms, ect. People have various degrees of gaydar. I have it, but I don’t really understand it. I think that mine comes from living by Rehoboth Beach. (Call it Rehomoth.) There are so many gay people there that some days I just bask in the glow of deviant sexuality. Yes… these are my people…
I think that the gay community cultivates it’s own stereotypes. (Not that any other group does that. ;)) So it can be very easy to pick up on other people’s sexual orientation.
There’s also my preferred method when in doubt- I watch who the person is looking at. Second glances never lie.
andygirl