Wesley, Wesley, Wesley. ::shakes head:: We’d gotten peacefully off the subject, and now look what you’ve gone and done.
I didn’t read the whole thread (3 pages is a bit long for me right now) but this is what I have to say.
Is this her house? Are you just staying there?
If you pay your half of the rent/mortgage, you have a right to sleep in your bed if you want to.
If she didn’t want to sleep with you, she should have slept on the couch.
My wife tried that crap on me once, she was mad at me and brought my pillow and blanket down to me while I was on the couch. When I was ready for bed, I picked them up and put them back on my bed and laid down.
She hasn’t tried that sicne.
Ain’t you just tha MAN.
I don’t know about that, but I do think what he did was right. If you don’t want to sleep next to me, you go find somewhere else to sleep. None of this banishing me to the couch in my own house. That’s just stupid.
So is sleeping next to someone who doesn’t want to sleep with you just to prove you can.
Can you explain to me why it that if you’re pissed at your SO you get to automatically banish him to the couch? When I’m angry at someone and don’t want to be around them, I leave. I don’t demand they go to a different room.
You go to bed first, the SO goes to bed later. There’s one bed and one couch in the house. The SO is up watching TV, not in another room, so there’s lights and noise and someone in the living room where the couch is. You bring out their blanket and pillow and let them know you’re unhappy, you go to bed and they stay on the couch.
A situation where the SO would be on the couch and you’d be in bed, when you’re the one who’s pissed off. Just an example.
That’s not it, dear. Note that in the other cases mentioned, the pissy party was the one who voluntarily relinquished the bed. You don’t get to toss your partner out of the bed because you’re upset; if you can’t bear to sleep next to them, it’s you who gets to endure the sofa.
Oh, I agree. I wouldn’t banish someone to the couch, and I’ve huffed off to the spare bedroom a couple times myself.
But Odin’s post came across as more that he was trying to show his wife who was boss more than anything else. It sounded more like control or a power play than him telling his wife if she didn’t want to sleep with him, she should get her butt to the sofa. I may have inferred too much.
Passive-aggressive horseshit. If you’re unhappy, there are more constructive ways of communicating. If you’re trying to say you’re angry, say it. If you’re trying to say “stay out of the bed, because it’s mine and I don’t want you there,” you’re just being a jerk.
It’s more exercising my rights than a power trip. I told my wife right from the beginning I didn’t play games and if she wants to do it (and banishing someone to the couch qualifies) she can do it with someone else.
Well yes, but that would be assuming that everyone acts in a mature manner during an argument. If someone is pissed enough to sleep on the couch or to ask their SO to sleep on the couch, I would say that at least one person is acting like a jerk. Hence the argument. Continuation of acting like a jerk by at least one of the parties escalates argument to fight, refusal to back down=couch.
Sorry, that last post was directed at andros’ post.
Odinoneeye, I take it you don’t believe in cooling off periods, then? As for me, sleeping on the couch qualifies as me stopping myself from going too far and saying something that I should never say to someone I love. Living with someone gives you all kinds of ammunition for verbal punishment; you know exactly which button to push to make that person feel about a half an inch tall. And unfortunately, I’m the kind of person who will not let an argument rest until it’s reached it’s bloody conclusion. So separating myself from that just makes sense. As I said earlier, though, it’s different for every couple.
IIRC, someone on this board once posted that her bf not only refused to sleep on the couch, but refused to let her leave the bed. My apologies, I can’t remember who posted that. That, to me, is more of a manipulative head game than saying “please sleep on the couch.”
I don’t. The make-up sex is never as good.
This has been a fascinating thread, especially the cervical fluid hijack.
I was the “totally average” girl who was Fertile Myrtle on day 14 after the first day of my period. Got pregnant in a heartbeat both times I wanted to.
OP is an ass.
Hubby and I have gone to bed angry before, but we’ve always worked it out in the end. I have taken to the couch a few times, but he always comes and gets me! 
Been married over 10 years now.
Everyone handles anger differently. Me, when I get angry, or pissy at some one, I NEED my cooling off time. I had a friend who was constantly bugging me when I was in a bad mood, even though I said, “You know, I’m really pissed right now, and when I’m pissed, I need to be alone,” and he’d take it so personally and it just made it worse.
When I’m pissy, I just want to indulge in a nice little sulk:, mutter obscene phrases under my breath, cry, and eat junk food. Then, usually the next day, I’m cooled down enough and can work things out.
I believe the proper, scientific, term is “cervical snot”.
Well, if you time the argument right, the makeup sex takes place at bed time. Thus killing two birds with one stone.
The OP has a girlfriend? I wonder if he’s the asshole all the “nice guys” keep pissing and moaning about…
Just an example, because someone asked why the person who was angry shouldn’t be the one to stay on the sofa. If the person who’s angry is the one who goes to bed first, but they are that angry that they feel the need the ‘alone time’ from the other person, then that’s a conceivable situation where the above mentioned example could come in.