Ya see, I went out my front door yesterday evening to check the mail and I immediatedly spotted a large-ish lizard (~10 inches length) on my front step. So I went into my Crocodile Hunter mode and said “G’day ya little sheila. You’re alright mate. I’m just gonna move you off the step here for your own good. Otherwise my naughty cats might find you and taunt you until your lovely tail breaks off.” I should have stuck with the Crocodile Hunter mode and wrestled the lizard into submission but I didn’t want to scare it. So I very delicately picked it up with my fingers, holding it mid-torso. Wrong! As soon as I had it off the ground the lizard doubled over and latched onto the top of my middle finger. Ouch! He didn’t let go until I put him in a bush. I had a diamond shaped wound on my finger, nearly a 1/2 inch long with blood seeping out one corner.
So now I’m waiting for my lizard superpowers to manifest. Perhaps I will grow a long tail that I can shed at will to taunt my enemies.
[sub]I feel so scaly…[/sub]
I guess Florida lizards are just wimps - as soon as I open the door or walk anywhere in their general vicinity, they bolt. As long as they don’t bolt into my house, I don’t care. I don’t like finding dried up lizard carcasses behind the furniture.
If it had been a radioactive lizard, it would have been Huge! 100 feet tall, at least, & breathing radioactive fire! And it would have attacked Tokyo!!
On a more realistic note, treat this bite as septic, & a potential threat of serious infection. Iodine, bandages & peroxide at least. a visit to the MD is better.
Heh…Bosada it was a baby radioactive lizard breathing only radioactive sparks. But if you live in Tokyo I’d get a catastrophic rider on your homeowner’s policy.
I asked my Mom to suck the venom out of my wound and she just laughed at me. So I just washed the wound and put some neosporin on it. Sigh…
(I’ll show her when I run up the wall and lick my eyeballs with my tongue!)
One time as I was bringing in groceries from the car I noticed there was a lizard in the garage. I really didn’t want it to get into the house so I went to scare it away. Usually they just bolt but not this one. He must have been new to Florida because the little sucker jumped on my shoe and proceeded to crawl up my leg. Imagine a grown, in his garage, with grocery bags on the ground and canned foods rolling out of them screaming for his wife at the top of his lungs while trying to take off his pants. My across the street neightbor gave me hell for that one for awhile.
Luckily for me, my snakebite was from a non-radioactive snake. The thing was blind, and I would hate to gain its "super"power of blindness from being bitten.
It could be on extreme time delay, but this was about four years ago now, and I still see tolerably well. Can’t blame the contacts on the snake…
sorry about that…
I don’t know why I assumed you were a man… besides the fact that you actually picked up a lizard of course…
not too many females I know would do that…
I had an iquana once that hated me. He would bite but that wasn’t the worst. Sometimes if I picked him up and stroked his head and coo-ed at him he would violently whip me in the face with his tail. That sucks. It’s hard to explain to people why you have whip marks on your face.
Well, one could carry a card that suggested medical need for warming up and whip it out whenever a suitable hottie (ha, ha, I crack myself up) approaches.
“'Scuse me, Mr Pitt, but if you don’t cater to me rightaway I will fall into stasis.”
I think if you turn cold-blooded, then you have to be a super villain. Which would be annoying, because you’d constantly be getting your butt kicked by random superheroes.
