Add a verse-- It Ain't Gonna Rain No More

Cafe Society
1

Way back in the misty past when Cafe Society was new, we had an add a verse thread for that famous children’s song Diarrhea (a word I have to look up to spell every time). This morning, after the weatherman said after today it wouldn’t rain again, this popped into my head:

Boy was sitting on a railroad track
His feet were full with blisters
Tore his pants on a rusty nail
And now he wears his sister’s

Never saw a purple cow
Never hope to see one
But I can tell you here and now
I’d rather see than be one.

Oh, it ain’t gonna rain no more no more
It ain’t gonna rain no more
So how the heck I’m gonna wash my neck
If it ain’t gonna rain no more?

I remember hearing punny ones and I was thinking of making up some for the nieces but thought I’d come here to see what you folks had first.

2

Oh, the night was dark and dreary,
The air was full of sleet,
The old man stood out in the storm,
His shoes were full of feet.

Oh, a black-and-white animal out in the woods,
Say, ain’t that little cat pretty?
I went right over to pick it up,
But it wasn’t that kind of a kitty.

Oh, a man lay down by the sewer,
And by the sewer he died,
Now, at the coroner’s request,
They called it sewer-side.

BTW, the end of the chorus was originally:

But how in the world can the old folks tell,
It ain’t gonna rain no mo’?

3

[Remembered from my childhood]

I woke up in the morning
And gazed upon the wall
The bedbugs and the roaches
Were having a game of ball.

The score was 15 - 20,
The roaches were ahead
Skinny hit a home-run
And knocked me out of bed

Oh, it ain’t gonna rain…

A poor man rides the streetcar
A rich man rides the train
A hobo walks the car tracks
But the get there just the same.

4

The version I remember is:

The lightning bug has wings of gold,
The june bug wings of flame,
The bedbug has no wings at all
But he gets there just the same.

5

Peanut sittin’ on the railroad track,
His heart was all a-flutter,
Along came a train, the 5:15,
Toot-toot! Peanut butter!

6

Had to search through verses on the web to find another my grandparents used to include in their version, inevitably sung on every road trip…

Mary had a little lamb
She fed it Castor Oil
And everywhere that Mary went
It fertilized the soil

7

Ohhh! I thought this thread died a lonely death. Love the sewer-cide, but the again I’m a sucker for puns.

8

You could spell it “dire rear.” Easier to spell and means the same thing.