So, say you’re in an AIM chat, and someone invites in someone you don’t know. You greet said person using their screenname. Another person in the chat greets said person using their real name, but does not introduce them to you. You continue to address said person using their screenname, and said person does not object or correct you. The other person take it upon themselves to correct you some time later in the conversation.
At this point, said person has not indicated a preference for either name–should you address the person by their screenname, or by their real name, remember that said person has not given you their real name, you have that from a third party–but you were given it in said person’s presence.
Hmm, good question they never teach you about that in school
Personally I usually tend to use a persons given handle at least until they tell me their name personally, and even then I often enough stick to the handle. I dont mind people using my real name, but I have a history of using the handles even with close friends for very long times. YMMV
I usually address people by their handle, unless we’re in a private conversation and we know each other’s real names - if we’re friends then I’ll probably use their name.
I like to play online games, and it can get confusing when a friend will be playing a character with a different name. Around other friends I might call the one friend by his more commonly-known handle, to point out who he is.
One friend keeps mixing up my handles/character names cross-game, so he tends to confuse strangers by using a different handle to refer to me.
Another vote here for handle–I may be wrong, but it seems to me that if someone went to the trouble of choosing a screen name that wasn’t their own name, it was for a reason–either they don’t want their name given out, or they like having that different name for whatever reason. And I tend to refer to online friends by their screen names long after I learn their real names. And I never call RL friends by their RL names online.
In fact, IMO the person who used a “real name” in a chat room with someone the other person didn’t know was a bit rude–if the new person had wanted you to know their “real name” it would be their decision to give it to you.
Kat, if it were me I would have addressed them by their screen name. I don’t know them, and they don’t know me. Seems wrong to get all familiar with them, even if they were introduced with their real name. I’d wait for them to say it was okay to use the real name.
Back in the old days I was on a local BBS where many of the users knew each other in real life. Occasionally someone who I didn’t know personally would use my real name instead of my handle online, presumably after seeing someone else call me by it. I always thought it was a little creepy. Sticking to handles is best.
This is not an issue when both names are the same.
The only thing that bothers me is when total strangers try to address me with familiarities like sweetheart, dear, baby, sugar, etc. I don’t even like it when people I know do that.
I always use screen-names on-line. I figure if they wanted to be called by their real names, they would use their real names as their screen names. Even IRL, I sometimes use screen names even when I know the real name.
If I know someone relatively well (either becasue we’ve been around the same community for some time or by meeting them IRL) I will sometimes – frequently, even – use the real name, unless they aske me not to. If it’s someone I don’t know then I will use the handle, even if I know they’re real name. I think of a handle like “Mr.” or “Dr.” – it’s the form of address you use with relative strangers, but for friends you use a name.
