The thing is they can’t prove it. But they watch.
Those places are brutal.
Formal eviction takes a few weeks in most places, tho’.
An old friend of mine was milking disability payments following a back injury. He was fine, but they couldn’t prove it.
He stopped at my place to return something he had borrowed. While he was there I asked him to help move something in my yard that was a 2 man job. He refused, afraid someone might be following him and they’d get a picture. Helluva way to live.
A return to multi-generation families living in one house, or on one piece of property is really the wave of the future. The days when young people could be expected to move out and start a separate family, on a separate piece of property are gone now.
I view this as a good thing. The moving away from home for each generation was an abberation, not the norm.
If there’s room and finances enough to support it.
My grocery bill could feed a small army.
And we economize and garden.
Don’t work harder on them than they work on themselves. That’s a recipe for madness, IMO.
have you thought about bus tickets? Send the parents on a vacation to a Midwestern state where they can get a job that will cover housing.
Then you can rent the kids out for lawn work to cover their food and entertainment.
Your screen name says a lot about your reply! 
I don’t suppose you’d like to adopt a 32 year old woman, her 34 year old husband, and their four kids and 2 dogs? I’d even throw in some money on the deal as soon as my pocket recovers from “loaning” them money.
Seriously, I understand the history of multi-generational households, I just don’t want to live in one. I don’t have the room, and I don’t have the patience. I know upper middle class and higher don’t generally live like that, and if they do, I bet they have more money, room, and resources than most lower income people who are driven to these arrangements.
My daughter moved in with us when she and her fiancé were in dire straits and it was easier for her to job hunt once her living situation was stable. It was a joyous experience. Six months of daily fun.
But she worked hard during those 6 months to find a stable situation for them. Then COVID, but he graduated medical school, and they found a place.,
PLOT TWIST: if all parties involved work hard to reach an eventual great outcome, multigenerational families can be a thing.
If rentals aren’t happening in a 40 mile radius, you obviously need to broaden your search, not give up.
Isn’t doesn’t save money to live in a multi generational home. It costs more.
Not to mention tempers, feelings, crowding, pets. They all add to the stress.
Then he shouldn’t be a gold bricker.
Whether it’s a good thing or not really depends on a lot. It’s not such a good thing if the “young people” who don’t move out contribute very little to the household. Also not such a good thing if the older folks think they have a say in how the young folks raise their children. (They absolutely get a say in how they are treated and how their house is treated , but they don’t get to decide the kids should be allowed to eat cookies if the parents don’t allow it. )
I suspect that for the most part, those multi-generational households existed because people had no choice. Maybe the older generation needed to be taken care of or they needed the younger generation to contribute to finances or someone to work on the farm or the younger generation hit hard times or . . . But there were always those who moved away - in a family with six children, then didn’t all stay in the parents household.
I would have lived in my car before living with either my mother or my mother-in-law because neither one understood the concept of boundaries.
We had a thing today. Mid-dau was raising heck because someone (me) wore her Tshirt.
I didn’t harm the shirt. I’ve been known to do that tho’.
I apologized profusely after the Lil’wrekker ratted me out.
I had to take the grief because I was at fault.
Things ain’t always that easy. I promise you.
Everyone has to agree on boundaries. Mistakes happen. Liberties are taken.
And then I get blamed.
As usual😊
Admittedly I know little of such things.
Why can’t you charge them rent? Or put another way, if they are authorized subsidized housing payments, why can’t you avail yourself of some of that sweet, sweet government largesse?
Around here it’s HUD housing. And you have to live in HUD housing to get the rent paid. The monies go to the provider of said housing. The renter never sees it.
Approval to be a HUD housing unit are strict. Hard to do for the average landlord. I assume.
I doubt renting rooms to a family member would pass muster.
Probably more kinds of rental assistance out there, tho’
Don’t try another conversation. These people know how to control a conversation and they can drag it out until you get really pissed off and walk away.
You make a statement to The Daughter “Pickup the living room and take out the trash.”
You will hear the reply, “Yeah, in a minute, I need to finish this level first.”
You “No. I will stay right here until you get up and do what I said.”
Then you stand at her elbow, and stare. Keep track of the time. After sixty seconds, say “It’s been a minute. I’m waiting.”
Draft the kids to help fix dinner. Even a five year old can peel potatoes. Explain every step of cooking. Show how to load the dishwasher. Say “If the dishes don’t come clean,you will be washing them by hand.”
You get the idea. You ask no questions, you make statements of fact. And standing silent with the “Mom Glare” is much more effective than going to your bedroom to cry.
Parkinson’s is rough. There are online support groups for caregivers of people with PD. Your husband’s doctor may have information about local support groups.
You are in my thoughts. My husband has PD too, and it’s a downhill slope.
~VOW
Thank you it is a down hill slope. You are also in my thoughts.
This is extremely good advice. Comes with the side benefit of teaching the kids some highly necessary life skills.
But you gotta follow ALL the advice. Don’t just say, “Load the dishwasher!”
If they don’t know what the hell they’re doing, it’ll be frustrating for both of you.
You’ll have to take the time, at least once or twice, to hand-hold them. The task will take way longer than just doing it your damn self, I promise, and it may be extremely tempting to just shoo them away … but focus on long-term.
Also, the part about hand-washing if the dishes come out dirty? Important, too. Very good incentive to pay attention and not half-ass the task.
Good luck. This situation didn’t happen overnight, so it won’t be fixed overnight … but positive change is possible.
I know it can be tough to find subsidized housing for a large family, at least a 3 br for a family of 6. And they don’t usually take pets afaik. Are they on any waiting lists in your county? That should be a priority, get their affairs in order to meet requirements to get on waiting list for subsidized housing. Kids may need to change school districts if an opening comes up across county.
What’s the holdup on the bathroom remodel, is this updating or for accessibility for your spouse? Is it operational at the moment?
They are on waiting lists. It is difficult to find something that large. I don’t think what they’re looking at is actually considered subsidized (though in practice it is funded) it’s not section 8, just low income. Some are pet friendly.
The bathroom remodle: My Step-daughter and her husband voluntarily installed a low entry large shower for us. The bathroom in question had a lot of issues from the start. Some genius put carpet in, and the drain in the sink leaks, and they did an awful paint job. So, genius that I am, I’m gonna’ fix it all after the shower goes in. vinyl plank floors, remove and mud up the stripping that comes on mobile homes, change out the vanity and sink. Erm, I can do it, but I’m not fast about it. I get a little (lot?) overwhelmed and procrastinate. Right now I’ve got the toilet up. I was going to floor under it, but when we pulled up the toilet I discovered that most of the sub floor under it was rotted. That’s what happens when you put carpet in a bathroom. I got most of that cut out, but I used a jig saw and they don’t cut very straight. I need to use a circular saw. Yes, I have one; I’m really chicken to use it. I will do it. It just takes me a while to get up the gumption. So: recap I’ve got the toilet up, a 3x3 hole where it goes, sub floor pieces leaned against the wall, and a circular saw to hand, intestinal fortitude pending. The shower and sink are functional. I also have a ton of other stuff I do. Plus I sleep and read too much. Slowly but surely it will get done.