Honestly, at this point in time, I think the only possible way to even have a chance of achieving this is to shut up, find something else to occupy your time and thoughts, and if she calls, she calls, but it sounds rather unlikely at this point. No good can come of you pushing at this point. Trust me. I tend to think Dopers as a whole are rather pragmatic and sometimes too quick to bail on relationships and the pursuit of such, but I’m fully on-board with what the consensus says here.
I do think it’s strange you didn’t recognize her even though she made such a deep impression on you. This may mean it’s the idea of her that you’re most attracted to, not actually her.
I don’t know what you’re looking for, since you’ve already reached out to her and let her know your feelings. The ball officially is in her court. You can’t do anything more without crossing the line into crazy.
The best thing you can do right now is try to meet other women.
Oh. Try using sincerity. Chicks really love sincerity. Once you learn how to fake sincerity, you’ll be in like Flynn! 
I am reminded of the story “The True Meaning of Love” from “Chicken Poop for the Soul.”
It’s not that crazy to carry a torch for a girl that you met once or twice. It is crazy to dwell on it after multiple signals that the feeling isn’t reciprocated. You’ve made a first impression on this girl twice now. She isn’t nearly as into you as you are her. If you follow this path, even the BEST case scenario has her feeling lukewarm towards you at best and that is not a relationship you want to commit yourself to.
Sure, it will allow me to explain the impact our first meeting had on me. How I felt a great connection with her. Then I will explain to her that I strongly suspected she was the same person when we met for the second time, but bit my tongue because I considered it so unlikely that I would ever see that person again. Then I will tell her that I was acting under the assumption on our date that she was someone I had just met, and that I had a great time. Then I will tell her that I was truly shocked when I discovered that she was the same person all along. Then I will ask her if and when she ever knew that I was the same guy from the party. Then I will tell her that there are only two occasions in my life where I met someone and felt an instant connection, and that both times she was that person.
Then I will listen to anything she has to say. If she wants to dismiss me I will never contact her again, but that I had to get the whole story out.
I didn’t see this asked or answered, so, any chance she still has a boyfriend?
“I don’t really remember that party, and it kind of creeps me out that something I didn’t notice has stuck with you for all that time. I didn’t really feel any connection or chemistry when we went out. I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested. Please don’t contact me again.”
Would you really be satisfied with that, or would you want just one more opportunity to convince her?
But ya can’t force her to listen. Well, you can, but then your gonna do at least 6 months.
You will creep her out, and then you will want to save that situation too, and then you will creep her out some more by NEEDING to do that, and then…
Dude, relax about this, seriously. Shit happens, you don’t need to reject those feelings out of hand but the Universe isn’t sending you a message here.
Based on what you’ve written you can almost be sure that she will dismiss you after that sort of speech. I don’t think you realize just how skeevy that would sound especially after she stopped responding to you.
Let it go. It’s a tough life lesson but one you need to learn.
So, like, a ways back I was at this party. Becky was there, even though she is in a fight with Mike. And of course Joe wouldn’t come with me, ever since that thing with Sylvia. I talked with some guy about legumes, as we both garden, and he must have been drunk because he tried to kiss me. I told him to back off and went to find Becky. Can you believe it, Becky was kissing Mike! I was shocked and Rick was double shocked. I wanted to stay to hear what happened, but it’s report season at work and things are hectic. I got the whole story later on Facebook anyway. LOL Susan couldn’t believe it!
Anyway. Later on I was hanging out with Becky and Anne at the bike store. Joe managed to blow a tire, so I dropped his bike off and cabbed home. But the cab dropped us off at the wrong place and I had to pee sooooo bad. Can you believe we just flagged down some rando and he let us in? We could have been anyone! So dude had some Bombay Sapphire and you know how I love gin, so we hung out for a while and watched Game of Thrones. Mike kept texting Becky the whole time, typical right? He would have flipped if he know she was at some dudes house, hahah. Anyways, we got bored and walked home. It wasn’t too far and I could stand to loose some weight. At home there was all this drama over that whole fireplace fiasco…I don’t even want to get in to that whole story.
Apartment dude texts me later saying he has an extra ticket to the Toad the Wet Sprocket reunion. Why not, right? I mean, I loved TTWS in middle school. And it’s not like Joe and I are officially together since he left for Benin. And, like, who goes to Benin for a year? What do they even eat there? We face time every day, but you know how it is. If he wants me, he can come back to Austin. That’s that story. So the concert was good. The Vets Hall has new speakers, finally. I spilled a diet Coke all over my new shirt, though. So much for that. Dude was kind of off. He was definitely making the move for me, but I just wasn’t feeling it. First off he’s a redhead and I don’t go for that. And he just wanted to keep taking about legumes. Wtf? But the music was good and I always like to dance. It’s kind of like Zumba, right? I wonder how much you burn at a concert? I should check that out.
Later apartment guy leaves me this wacky voicemail. He says he was the guy at that party. I guess he was. Otherwise, how would he know? I can’t really remember. Anyway, that’s all pretty weird and I don’t want to deal with it. Sylvia’s wedding is next week and the dresses are just, so. ugly. Who chooses line green? And poor Anne with her scar. I don’t even know what she’s going to do about that, maybe a shawl?
Ok, gotta go! Mike is gonna face time. He had a pet monkey! I can’t wait to see it! And then we have happy hour at the Applebee’s. I can’t wait until Thursday, haha. The new doorman is going to be shocked by the delivery!
It is very subtle, but the Dope might be sending you a message.
No, I think he should give her the whole story. I have a feeling it will snap things into focus for him. 
even sven, that was awesome. 
Hahaha sven. Yeah, that’s probably about how it went.
Dude, if she’s just not that into you (and she’s not), there is NO WAY it’s going to make a difference to her that you guys met briefly a couple years ago and that you explain whatever blah blah blah. NO MATTER HOW YOU EXPLAIN IT. It’s a story you’re not going to be able to tell your grandkids one day because she is not going to be their grandmother so it would be kind of awkward.
It’s funny how Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers is a just a lovably lovelorn every-man and I’m Jeffrey Dahmer. Rationalists I think not.
Though I will take everyone’s advice and not contact her. I should probably delete her number from my phone and de-friend her on facebook. That way I can only ever speak to her again if it’s at her behest. If it’s meant to be, I can’t be the one to force it. Draconian but probably for the best.
Still not playing it very cool but ok, it’s an improvement at least. There’s the fact to consider that you concocted an obssessive theory to rationalize an insignificant mix up and left a voicemail to a girl you met once or twice saying she is the long lost love of your life. I’m sure you think it’s no biggie, if she doesn’t see the magic we’ll just part ways, but who wants to deal with that from a total stranger?
Dahmer is taking it a bit far, but romcoms are just wish fulfillment and entertainment, not meant to be taken as an actual model for how reality works.
If we were sadistic bastards, we’d tell you to go for it, just to enjoy the ensuing drama. I honestly believe, from a game theory standpoint, the course of action most likely to bring about a desired outcome (as defined by you) is to lay low. It’s still a very unlikely outcome, but less unlikely than sitting her down for five minutes and pouring your heart out to her. I know the loss of control sucks, and we all want to forge our own destinies, but that’s what it is.
Just take it for what it is: unmatched expectations and move on. There’s nothing more mystic or diabolical about it.
Oh, but you know what’s weird though? With that guy, we hardly even know each other but I still just feel like…maybe if he had told me right away… Oh well. he hasn’t even called again to explain, so forget it.