This is a bit too close to the line of an accusation of trolling for this forum. Please restrain yourself.
I’m not saying he shouldn’t discuss hypotheticals with experts in this field.
I am saying that attempting to invoke a full response by the resources of his local child welfare agency and law enforcement agents in an all-out investigation is a step that he should be very, very careful about taking.
If his worst suspicions are true, certainly, let loose the dogs of war.
If the poor guy is perceiving a bizarre family as more troubled than said family actually is, then there is a substantial possibility that involving the authorities would profit society to the same extent that introducing 6 quarts of tapioca into my car’s crankcase at my upcoming oil change would.
Your post led me to believe that a situation only slightly worse than the best case here would cause you to pull the trigger, hence my questioning whether or not you had in fact chosen the lesser of two evils.
I’m not at all uncomfortable with discussion of dysfunctional family situations, provided we are discussing genuine people and events or an acknowledged hypothetical situation. The more you add to this thread, the greater my conviction that it is all bullshit. Every last bit of it.
Based on the following description:
- BIL is extremely touchy-feely with her, keeps sitting her in his lap, stroking her hair, etc.
- BIL isn’t demonstrative towards wife; wife is withdrawn & submissive
- 12-yr-old gets 3 bday parties, siblings get 1
- When the poster was playing kickball one afternoon, 7-yr-old nephew and 12-yr-old niece each ran up and grabbed his crotch
- 12-yr-old and siblings have been cut off from the rest of the family, no longer allowed to go shopping or on overnights
- BIL has an off-limits high-tech room (3 locks on the door) - gets extremely upset if anyone goes near it
- BIL is secretive, has no friends, won’t carry on normal conversations with family.
your scenario spooked the hell outta all of my online girlfriends @ the Mommy chatboards. They all said – CALL. Even the couple of them who distrust CPS said CALL.
I did think of one other suggestion if you absolutely do not feel comfortable calling. Perhaps someone else already posted this, but IIRC, you said she’s starting to dress provocatively and take an interest in boys? Perhaps your wife could have an Auntie-type talk with her, about her rights and her body, in the context of young men.
If your niece understands that her body is sacrosanct and her Aunt and Uncle will back her up if she ever feels violated by anyone, perhaps she’ll summon the courage to disclose a problem to you.
At worst, her father can’t possibly object to that kind of protective and appropriate advice.
You know what? I’m going to move this thread. It’s a contentious issue, there’s a lot of tension in here, and, quite frankly, I’m a little too involved in it to moderate it effectively.
Moved from IMHO to the Pit.
That’s about the most chickenshit thing I’ve seen you do. But based on what I’ve seen, it isn’t a surprise.
Now that we are in the Pit, I guess my assessment of you can stand.
Close the thread if you want, Frank. I wouldn’t want to short-circuit your moderating skills. Personally involved? In what way, exactly? Is this thread hitting a little too close to home? Christ, you are a flake. And you think I have issues?
Thank you for those that actually gave me advice. My wife and I have taken the positive and negative feedback and are weighing the options accordingly.
As of now, we are leaning toward watching and waiting. Although we feel there is something not right, we don’t have physical proof, and we can’t justify doing anything yet.
For those of you who have shared your stories, thank you. They’ve been very helpful. It’s nice to know there are some people out here who care enough to respond with personal stories, even if they were only “vibes”. Thank you also to those of you who think this is an over-reaction, there is a legitimate reason for the “room”, and child-grabbing-genitalia isn’t as abnormal as I thought.
I didn’t list everything in this thread that has raised our eyebrows. Perhaps I haven’t expressed myself as well as I could have. But to be honest, I really don’t think more examples would do anything other than show those of you who think I should pick up the phone to be more convinced of it. And those of you who think I am trolling will just think I’m making shit up to get a rise out of you.
Finally, to Frank. You are a piss-poor moderator who derailed a legitimate thread because you “thought” there was a reason to. Fuck you. I’m glad your life is perfect. I’m glad you know who your father is. I’m glad your wife (if you are married) is perfect too. And if she has a niece, I’m glad she hasn’t grabbed your balls. But if she does, I hope you get the same sort of treatment and advice you’ve given me.
You are an idiot. And an asshole. :wally
There are smarter things to do than annoying a Mod, like going into a bar in Mississippi and yelling the N word. :rolleyes:
He’ll get over it. And so will I.
Frank got personally involved in a thread for a reason only he can fathom. He implied I was a troll. I took offense. He took offense at my offense.
I remained civil after my warning.
If he bans me, he bans me. My life will be just fine. There are some very nice people on this board, and some very fine mods. Frank isn’t one of them.
The fear of the mods around here is amazing.
You’re a fucking troll and a liar.
No shit, Sherlock. Telling a guest he’s lucky you don’t ban him for a first offense? One for which he pretty much apologized? And then suggesting that he is a sock or a troll? Which, as far as I know is not allowed in IMHO. Bad day, Frank?
And you are Frank’s sock. :rolleyes:
Feel better now?
I know this is why Frank moved it to the Pit.
Go fuck yourself, Scumpup.
Whose sock are you, kurahee? Everything about you screams sock puppet. You’re running guest membership. You have a brief posting history that is gravid with bizzare, provacative, TMI topics. I don’t know who you really are, but that person is a lying fuck of a troll.
There is no BIL.
There is no SIL.
There are no children.
There is no “fortress of solitude.”
There is no kiddie porn, suspected or otherwise.
There is only a lying, shit-stirring, trolling fuck of a sock puppet named kurahee.
If you would not mind getting me up to speed, can you share a bit of his history that is so gravid?
No, it’s respect. (Well, a little bit of fear. They can throw those coffee mugs a loooong way.)
I’m a little shocked at the hostility between you two guys, especially Frank. I totally didn’t see it coming. Hope you both get it out of your system.
kurahee, I do want to say that, in my opinion, you have handled yourself responsibly and very maturely in this thread (so far), and I hope you decide to pay the membership fee and stick around. Your line of reasoning could use a little work, but that’s what this place is all about…fighting ignorance.
And now that we’re in The Pit (hoo boy! fasten seatbelts!) some words of wisdom:
(1) Read The Pit Rules. Learn them, know them. You can basically say anything you want, but there are limits.
(2) Try not to take anything too personally. The denizens of the Pit can be vicious, but in reality, most of them are wimps.
(3) Hi, Opal!
(4) Whenever making a list, be sure the 3rd item is always, “Hi, Opal!” (A general SDMB rule, not Pit-specific.)
(5) Whatever you do…do not, I repeat do NOT, claim to have psychic powers. Trust me on this. 
Enjoy the ride…
As a preface, I have no comment or opinion as to whether or not kurahee is a troll or a sock, I haven’t really interacted with him, and don’t care either way…
Frank, what was with that threat to ban? If kurahee’s a troll/sock, you can and should ban him without comment. If he’s not a troll/sock, you can’t ban him, so it’s an empty threat. That’s weak, man. And the accusation of trollery in IMHO was a bullshit play. I don’t give a crap if you are a mod, you shouldn’t be making those sorts of accusations outside of the pit. If he is technically a member/guest in good standing, then the official position of the staff should reflect that.
It’s also pretty sad that you are trying to “moderate” a situation that you’re in the middle of. You just make it look like we shouldn’t get down and dirty with a mod, just in case they feel like whipping out their coffee mug and giving us a beat down. That goes directly against the idea that you get to post as a regular poster.
Now now. He can claim it all he wants. Things will go much bettter for him if he can back it up, however. 
I don’t know why I bother. But for the record, for those of you interested.
I have read these boards for a while. There seemed to be an intelligent group of posters. So, I took advantage of a trial membership and asked a question in GQ. That question was basically, is there a way I can force my father to have a paternity test?
Now, I went into too much personal detail, but being an inexperienced poster I took my lumps. You can read the thread. There is nothing in there I’m ashamed about. It is a part of my life. A question I’ve always wondered about. Based on the facts I do know, and a conversation with my mother’s brother, I have a strong inclination that the man that raised me is not my biological father. I wondered if there was a way I could find that out.
Based on the feedback I received, and a couple of phone calls with 2 brothers I hadn’t talked to in a while, I decided not to pursue it. It is what it is. And that’s that. I should have asked a more generalized question, like
If someone were to question their paternity, could they obtain DNA from their parents and have it checked at a lab?
My mistake was putting it in the first person and giving way too much detail. And when folks asked for follow up information, I tried to provide it because they took the time to read my thread. I received some good advice/feedback in that thread, but it was a GQ, and I’ll admit it turned into a personal story. My mistake.
Which leads me to this thread. My wife and I have been debating what to do about this for some time, and I decided to throw it out in IMHO to get some feedback. It’s been interesting. Frank, for some reason, felt a need to link a thread that was off the front pages of GQ (at least I haven’t looked at it in a while), and then accused me in an oh so subtle way of being a troll.
Then I called him an idiot. One thread has nothing to do with the other. This is not my family, but my wife’s. And for some reason, Frank seems to have taken a personal interest in my concern for my niece and my skeevy BIL. I don’t know why.
Now, I have asshats like scumpup and others, who seem to have a notion that sucking on the ass of a mod and jumping on the bandwagon to derail a very serious thread is important in life. That’s fine. scumpup can afford the time. I guess the social skills important to making friends elude you, just like my BIL.
Maybe I hit some nerve. Or maybe some of these people have stacks of kiddie porn. Or maybe they have fondled a child. Or not. I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t care. I do care about the kids in that house.
I’m also fascinated by those who spent the time to read the thread only to accuse me of being a troll. Did you read some of the other replies? Some posters have said they were abused as children. Some posters admitted having a bad “vibe” about someone and found out later they were into child porn.
I have conceded I have no tangible proof, other than the incidents I’ve related and a gut feeling. My wife shares that gut feeling, and she came to that conclusion long before I told her about the “package” grabbing incidents.
So, thank those of you for taking me seriously, and offering your opinions. They have all been read, and I’ll continue to follow this thread.
But thanks to Frank, I’m afraid it’s been derailed permanently. Just like he wanted. Good for you.
As for scumpup. Please. Grow up. If you aren’t Frank’s sock, then pull your tongue out of his ass. It’s a message board. This isn’t high school. Trying to support a mod or be a junior mod isn’t going to get you to sit with the cool kids at lunch.
I don’t think any of us fears the mods. I have, in the past, told Frank in no uncertain terms what I thought of him, and it was not complimentary. There is a general respect for the rules, however; a consistent pattern of violating them will get you kicked out. Frank’s conduct in this thread was rather unfortunate, but don’t take his behavior as emblematic for how this place is run. And yes, there are people who go around kissing the mods’ asses. The technical term for such people is “losers”. Scumpup, incidentally, is not one of those people. He seems to have formed a negative opinion of you independently of Frank.
In my opinion, you might consider asking someone to close the thread; you’ve gotten a lot of thoughtful answers, plus more than your share of difficulty from Frank. I’m not sure what else there is to be said on the actual subject matter at this point.
Thank you KGS.
I agree that I could use a bit of work on my posting. In reflection, I should have written everything out and put it in the OP, instead of adding to it. Quite frankly, I wanted to get feedback because this conversation has heated up in my home. Throwing out an incomplete OP wasn’t the best way to go. I know that now.
I’ve been very pleased with the maturity of most posters, even the ones that may question my “vibes”. That’s fine with me. I was also astounded to learn that others have had their packages grabbed by little boys. But if my memory serves, no one admitted to having their package grabbed by a 12 year old girl, and no female who replied said this was normal behavior.
With that said, I have also conceded that I have no idea what this behavior means. Which is why I posted it. Perhaps it means nothing. But as a little boy, I can state for the record I never reached for my uncle’s package. I can’t even recall LOOKING at my uncle’s package.
Maybe those of you who think the leap we’ve made was a large one are correct. But you don’t know my BIL. You haven’t *seen * how he behaves. I can’t adequately explain it in words. But the feelings I get are not unique to me. My wife has known him for over 20 years, and she has had misgivings about him for many years before I even met her. She was surprised that I picked up some of the same things she did. My wife’s uncle also confided to her that he felt something strange is going on, but gave no real details (he is now dead, and I never met him, so that’s coming from my wife). But you are correct. A strange, introverted, socially inept weirdo does not a pedophile make. That’s why I haven’t picked up the phone.
Why are the advertisements about potty training dogs?
Does it have something to do with the pit?
Mother told me not to post here!