After 115 years, the snoring finally gets to be too much

Tortoise couple calls it quits after 115 years:

Well if those crazy kids can’t make it work how can we expect anyone to!

/divorces husband

I bet that bastard Poldi found some other trophy tortoise after he got that large legal settlement for the slip and fall at Walmart.

Say, Doc, I keep waking up with these strange marks on my back…

Now they have to give back all their 100th anniversary presents.

It took the female a long time to assert herself, now she’s finally coming out of her shell.

I knew it wouldn’t last.

Nobody likes a backbiter.

Finally, she got off of his back.

They actually decided to go their separate ways 76 years ago. This is what tortoises call a quicky divorce.


He’s been looking at those trollopy tadpoles, again!

You wait and see, she’ll come crawling back.

Zombie Tortoise!

They’ve been having trouble for decades, but they wanted to wait to divorce until after the children were dead.

Has anyone checked Bibi’s bed for bath salts?

At least they should be top-of-the-line aphrodisiacs - plenty of access to tiger penis and rhino horn.