I’m sure we’ve talked about the Charmin bears and the fact that they wipe their asses with toilet paper.
But it’s their catchphrase that really clenches my sphincter: “Enjoy the go”.
mmm
There’s one that I both like and hate at the same time.
The drunk/hung-over dad sitting on the kitchen floor chugging Pedialyte amuses me no end.
But then his bratty little daughter walks in and whiningly scolds him with “Hey, that’s miiine!”
Fuck off, kid. You mom and dad bought that Pedialyte. It’s theirs. Your mom and dad paid for everything in the house and everything in your life. He can drink anything he wants from his own refrigerator. Stop being an ungrateful little shit.
Back in my day (*shakes fist at cloud*) that kid would get a lecture about appreciation rather than “I’ll buy you a pony.”
First time I heard this line, I thought, “Is this an ad for Fetlife?”
“Do nothing for 30 seconds”? Not even breathe?
Better or worse than Cottonelle’s “Down There Care”?
There’s even an official set of “Down There Care” tiles available for Animal Crossing: New Horizons.
This has got me to thinking about Michael’s (craft store)new slogan: “Let’s make”. Cracks (no pun intended)me up every time.
I think the new ‘worst ever’ commercial is the insurance ad that goes something like this:
Hey, I got a text from my sister. Remember her neighbor?
The old guy that runs marathons?
Not anymore…
Fuckin-A, that is some tacky-ass shit right there!
IOW, your standard Colonial Penn commercial. Where do they find such wooden actors?
I was JUST watching one of those, and after a particularly wooden line, I turned to my wife: “Hmmm, caption says ‘Paid Actor’. They did NOT get their money’s worth.”
I keep seeing a Carfax ad where a couple says they can’t show their faces in the neighborhood, so the disguise themselves as trees.
Where all you can see of them is their faces.
Yeah, I wish I could enjoy the go. TMI time, but. … let’s just say I have perpetually inflamed hemorrhoids and constant wiping is a literal pain in the butt.
RealityChuck, they are saying the people not using Carfax are so stupid, they disguise everything but their faces. Or put on a disguise, then sit in the car in their own driveway.
They usually put a little more effort into it though…the dialog is always unnatural, but I don’t remember it being that stilted.
Somehow, I’ve managed to miss those ads. 
We’ve only gotten those mildly creepy Hobby Lobby ads here lately.
What’s more annoying about the Charmin bears is things like the underwear ad. So are these bears wearing underwear under their fur?
Then there’s the ad with the boy bear rubbing and scratching his bare bottom all over the furniture, then they tell us it’s because his bottom isn’t clean. EEWWWW!
IS clean!
I know they are speaking Bear, but the kid doeas say “is”, if it is the commercial I’m thinking of.
In tasteless commercial category, I saw one once (and that was enough!) for a woman’s special panty to take care of “leakage” during “that time”. But they weren’t that euphamistc with the imagery - the woman wakes up, and there’s a large-ish deep red blood spot on the sheets! No mysterious blue fluid, like the other “absorbent” commercials, nosiree! And they follow it up with a blood stained dress, and something else, but by then I had my “springtime for hitler” face going, and I didn’t see anything more.
No, that’s the underwear one. I’m talking about the itchy/scratchy one. He’s wiggling and squirming everywhere, and then they explicitly say it’s because he isn’t getting clean, so get Charmin to fix the problem.
The Dominos commercial where the brat gives shit to the racecar driver: in the longer commercial they show the kid’s car arriving and leaving, it looks like they substitute a wax dummy for the kid.
Oh boy! Glad I never saw that one!
In a marionette shop?
It’s a tossup between the Carfax fox and Liberty Mutual emu for dumbest animal mascot idea.