O.J. Simpson Is Ordered to Pay DirecTV in Signal-Theft Case
Seems O.J. had a couple of devices called “bootloaders” in his house, which are machines that somehow allow the interception of DirecTV signals without an actual account.
He’s been ordered to pay $25,000 to DirecTV. According to O.J.'s lawyer, he wasn’t living in the house at the time, and anyway he had no way of knowing that these devices were illegal.
This guy is just an ongoing supermarket magazine story.
“But I thought I could get away with anything now…”
Seems like O.J. draws cops like moths to a flame.
OJ has just released a statement saying that he will not rest until the real cable thieves are found and brought to justice.
:dubious:
Good one. That cracked me up. Thanks. 
As we speak he’s looking for them on the golf course.
And Michael Jackson is helping him.
If the cable don’t split, you must acquit!
C’mon, OJ, it won’t cost that much to find the real kil…cable thieves. Just buy a mirror.
I understand that OJ’s lawyers have already question the DNA evidence that was found on the DirecTV antenna, and have blamed the whole thing on a racist rogue cable guy. Oh, the glove they found by the antenna was obviously planted, so say his dream team of lawyers.
It’s only a matter of time before O. J. releases the following statement to the press:
Home. I have no home. Hunted…despised… living like an animal-- the jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people… a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
That’s “rice of pipple.”
…And a new, fairly memorable, ad campaign from Vitamin Water: OJ Found Guilty - Of Being High In Sugar (That Is - Whereas Vitamin Water has less sugar and more nutients)