I remember asking you, boli, to take a picture of me with Valerie’s cleavage, but the suggestion was not looked upon highly by all parties involved. However, I am looking forward to seeing these pictures!
Alright, listen.
I didn’t make it up to the festivities for one reason, and one reason only.
I was one night ahead of you all in respect to the “drinking-youself-into-oblivion” portion of the evening.
I drank myself into the Bad Place Friday night. You know, that place where the beautiful, life saving thought of “Hey, the next beer should probably be your last.” doesn’t exist? C’mon, I know you’ve all been there. Well, Friday night, I was there so long, they elected me mayor of the Bad Place. I promise, I would’ve been less than fun. I was in no shape to touch alcohol in any form, and I wasn’t yarking up my dinner, so I wouldn’t have been much as far as being a floor show. Coupled with the fact that I would’ve had to get up at 6:30 am Sunday to drive back in time for practice, I really felt everyone involved would be better served by me not showing up.
But if you could’ve seen me Friday night…
Where the highlight of the night was the following:
I’m talking with some guys I know from high school, when a pair of girls they had been talking to earlier come over and introduce themselves. The first one introduces herself, and then says these guys had been teasing her all night, calling her (and I swear to all powers this is what I heard) “Sleazebag”. So, not being one to kill a good joke, I continue calling the girl Sleazebag for about 10 minutes, while she gets madder and madder. Finally, she leaves, and my friend leans over and says, “Dumbass, we’re not calling her Sleazebag, we’re calling her LISA!” Apparently, her real name was something other than Lisa, and they were just messing with her.
I hope this fully illustrates the kind of shape I was in Friday night, and the resultant hangover Saturday. To give you an idea of where the night went after that, the above incident occurred somewhere around 12:30. I closed down the 3:00 bar, finally hit the sack somewhere around 4:10.
I could almost hear the whining tone in that last post.
Or was that the string music?
I could almost see it being cheesily re-enacted by some actor who isn’t even good enough for infomercials, like on “The E! True Hollywood Story.”
Boli:
Boli, I’m POSITIVE I was handing you vodka tonics. Maybe you were just being polite and dumping them on the floor behind you, though. But I know I gave you at least one. Hm, who was sitting next to you? Maybe I was giving them to him. It’s…all…so…foggy. Remember when I was sitting on the floor in front of you and we were holding our noses over Inertia’s stinky feet?
As far as the photos. The one that REALLY sticks out in my head is a photo of Porcupine’s purple projectile being placed near poor Joph’s passed-out self.
Sax,
You know, maybe you were giving the drinks to Vile. He was sitting on my left, on the floor, for awhile. I remember you handing him a drink at some point… but yeah, if I took one from you, it either got passed on to someone else or dumped out. There is no way I drank one.
Saxy, I remember you giving a V&T to Gaudere, who was reluctant to take since she hates vodka. Maybe that’s what you’re disremembering. And we had limes, how the hell can you drink a tonic highball sans lime?
We all know that Gaudere is the secret vodka tonic drinker. Her cool, hip Guinness was just a front for her furtive tawdry vodka-tonic tippling!
Yeah, those so-called “Guinness” I drink are simply vodka tonics with brown food coloring and espresso foam. I fooled you all! Bwah hah hah hah!
I think we have established that, in addition to vodka’s inherent insipidness and association with sorority girls, you should also avoid it since it clearly screws up your memory. Everyone should drink Guinness: not only is it healthful and tasty, each one you drink makes you wittier and more attractive. 'S truth!
and probably still drunk.
I was drinking the vodka-tonics Sax. I finally got over my binging and food poisoning from the night before (which BTW didn’t stop ME from attending the festivities) sometime during our pool playing. So, I was drinking your cocktails in an attempt to at least partially catch up to the rest of you. I didn’t want to risk shots of Jameson reactivating the gag reflex I had been surpressing all night and tonic seemed like a good idea. Remember, I was asking for no lime? I didn’t want to risk lime on my tortured gut. So, though I normally prefer bourbon or beer, I was drinking vodka and tonic sans lime because it was making my stomach feel better. I would have liked bitters, but I didn’t think to make that request earlier. A good old fashioned, easy on the sugar, would have gone down nicely.
Looking forward to pictures.
Gaudere, don’t know when I might make it back to Chicago. Probably not this year unless we get some great weather in mid-December. I hope to be moving back east early next year. Maybe Falcon and I will make a road trip next spring. Anyway, I’d buy you a drink anytime. Heck. Dinner and a show would be great. Guiness swilling elves are among the sexiest creatures on earth. BTW, check out my need for an enforcer thread. You’d certainly make the short list if you’re interested.
Road trip???
WOOHOOO! As we all know, I’m always up for ChiDope. Or for getting Spiffled.
And Flyp hon? I was up at 6:30 Sunday morning to catch my flight home. So hush. (On that part, at least.)
Gee Falc, I don’t know if I’M up for another Spiffled - after all, what if I get too drunk the night before and bail out at the last minute? I mean, if it’s Flyp’s playground we have to play by his rules, right? 
Vile Orb and MikeG (I think) - I forgot to thank you two for saving me a place to bowl, and holding my cigarettes while I bowled, as well as chasing me down when it was my turn.
“you think…?” <sniffle> And I thought I had made a much bigger impression on you what with you naming me:
“…so top of my list…”
That’s it! Omni, we’re off to The Alumni Club to score some Sorority girls.
I’m free this weekend too so Chicagoans email me
gaudere,I’ll show you some real Guinness if you think you’re up to leaving the Loop and Shitty O’Kea’s.
No, Mike, you did make a big impression! I remembered that you were the one that make Omni cry deep inside. It’s just that the bowling alley kinda blurs together and I wasn’t 100% positive. Sorry. Please forgive me, and don’t go over to the dark side.
Did anyone get the story from Omni about his run through the woods with Jess? I got the vague story from Jess the next morning, but am amazed that they wanted to go running around in the woods at 5 am. Where did they go? How long were they gone? Did they enjoy it? Is anyone else even vaguely aware that this happened? Was Valerie still awake when they returned or did Jess have to pound on the door to wake her up?
Valerie, it was an honor bowling with the boss. It was only right that a spot should be saved for you. There was a spot for Uncle Beer as well, but he declined to bowl. No criticism intended, I probably would have sat out myself if I had felt a little better or a little worse.
Vile, you spent like 7 hours in a car with this girl, and you still didn’t get the story? Judging from Omni asking US what happened, I think the only way you’re getting that particular story is from Jess.
I too would be curious to hear the motivation for a run to the river.
:rolleyes:
I must admit to sleeping through most of the ride home. Big thanks to Jess for letting me do that since she was the one who got almost no sleep. It’s her car though and she doesn’t like to let anyone else drive it, so not feeling too guilty here. Jess gave me a general path they took and complained of brambles and bruises, but that’s it. Oh, and something about watching the water flow backwards at the dam? Her general attitude suggested that they were gone for a hour or two, but it didn’t sound like they went far enough to take that long. I guess there were some stops along the way for appreciating nature or whatever.
Omni - Neither of you seemed that drunk when you left, at least as compared to the rest of the crowd. Are you saying you don’t remember?
Hey! Those were the woods where OJ supposedly ditched the knife! Nobody stepped on anything sharp, did they?
Listening to the rest of you I obviously picked the wrong day to quit drinking.
Ah, the river.
Jess decided for some reason she didn’t want to sleep any shrug and I had mentioned something earlier about wanting to stagger drunk through the woods shrug again. As I recall it, as the night was unwinding and everyone was dissapearing to bed without mention (probably to hide from the heckles) Jess called me on my drunk assertions. Being the noble guy I am, I decided to give it a go, and it seemed reasonable since I kinda felt like getting home to my own bed that night and not invading a dopers room. It provided a nice chance to finish sobering up, which started once we left meeting room B and started watching porn. So, we stagger into the woods accross the street and come to find that the “trail” wasn’t so much a trail anymore and the river was father away than expected. Eventually we found it and followed it to a little dam and just hung out. Shooting the shit, and I’m sure I was quite a bit less than coherent and less quality conversation than most normal people would hope for, but we eventually decided the sun was coming up and my que to head back. Basically the night resulted in little more than muddy shoes, scratched arms and legs, and a slightly more sober Omni.