All-purpose baby, pregnancy, and parenting thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Nursing past the first year is definitely appropriate and beneficial if two people want to continue it: mother and baby. I’ve mentioned it a time or two on the boards here and either people don’t believe me or they’re so astonished they don’t know what to say, but I nursed my younger for more than four years. We co-slept and it was fantastic and none of anybody’s business. He decided one day that he was done, and he was. It wasn’t weird, I wasn’t doing it for me, I was doing it for him, but I will admit it did get a little old by that point.

Speaking of old, I was old when I had him, 41, and nobody needs to tell me about exhausted! :slight_smile: I was wore out just being pregnant with all nearly 10 pounds of him.

Regarding teething, I don’t have specific advice because frankly I don’t remember exactly what I did, but it seems like I told him “no” loudly, put him down, picked him back up, smooched on him, and then put him back on. It was painful, I won’t lie. I kept the boo-boo slathered in lanolin and it healed relatively quickly. I nursed faithfully on that side even while it healed, though never first. Supply dwindled just a little bit by the time it healed, I could start on that side and build supply back up. I don’t remember being lopsided but I probably was.

All this stuff seems like eternity while you’re going through it, but if you put it into perspective, it’s only a short time. This thought got me through a lot; my own mother reminded me of it. She and I and our whole family went through the birth of my twin sisters, when I was 17. She said, “remember how exhausted we were when they were so tiny and how much work? Just think how little time that was compared to our whole lives.”

82

One more thing: as a veteran nursing mother I’m also the veteran of multiple bouts of mastitis. It, too, is pretty painful but thankfully antibiotics clear it right up. The lactation consultant told me to take Vit. C and acetaminophen too, which I did faithfully. It’s something else you have to grit your teeth and nurse through, but it IS doable, I am here to tell you. It doesn’t last all that long, so if anyone needs to take inspiration from me, here you go! On the other hand, if you find it too much and decide not to, I’m not going to judge you. We all do what we’re able. :slight_smile:

83

Since this is a pregnancy thread too, can some of you cross fingers for me? I’m 10 days past ovulation on our eleventh cycle trying to have kid #2. Tests are negative so far and my temperature is still “up” but slowly going down. I guess things aren’t looking good, but I’m hoping. If I am pregnant, the baby will be due on my grandmother’s 100th birthday.

My period is due tomorrow. I’m afraid it’s probably going to come, but wishing it won’t.

84

Since they’re such good playmates, would putting her in bed with him help? If it were me, I would lay in the bed or floor next to her for a few nights and see if she gets past it. My daughter (now 18) rarely if ever slept through the night until she was at least 3, but she just howled from her room rather than getting up. I would go to her, pat her down, and tiptoe out. I admit, I did that quite a bit and she eventually outgrew it. I was working full-time but admittedly not driving across Arkansas, so while tired, I probably wasn’t as tired as you.

85

For the past 2 days my 15 month old daughter has decided that her favorite thing to do is to take her safety nail clippers and hold them up to my toes, look at me and laugh uproariously.

Babies are so damn cute.

86

Sattua, fingers and toes all crossed for you. Here’s to you having to miss your grandmother’s 100th birthday celebrations because you’re in the labour ward!

April, is she genuinely upset about something, or just awake and wanting action? Because if she’s just looking for action, then personally I’d give her no interaction at all. I’d pick her up, put her back in bed and leave without a word, repeat as many times as it takes.

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Sattua, I’m hoping a little life has grasped hold within you! Such an exciting time: is there a little being within? :slight_smile:

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Thanks. We’ve been constantly telling ourselves that. And hey, it must be true! Many people have more than one kid, so it can’t be that bad. Right…?

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RandMcnally–I didn’t think I’d be able to handle another kid until my daughter began to consistently sleep through the night without needing attention. Then my feelings transformed almost overnight. It’s amazing what sleep will do.

Thanks for the crossed fingers. I’ve been getting used to disappointment, but always keep hoping.

90

I think I’m going to frame this. Thank you for sharing so much helpful information, Ellen Cherry.

I’ve already had the opportunity to say “no” and put her in the floor twice today. Both times she seemed shocked, face crumpled, started tears. Picked her back up and re-latched, settled back in. I hope this works, I’m not ready to give up yet. Mastitis and infection are what I’ve been worried about, Ellen Cherry, but so far I haven’t suffered that one. The first four months of oversupply was miserable for us both, and I’ve had clogged ducts more times than I can count, but those things are fixable without intervention so I can’t complain. Thanks for the teething advice, everyone.

Fingers crossed for you, Sattua. My pregnancy was an impossible bit of luck; wishing you the same good fortune I had.

My friend Kate had 3 kids in 4 years and survived it. When we parents of one child complain overmuch, she listens for a couple minutes then shouts in a shrill voice “I had three under four!!!” and we all buckle and kowtow to her superior suffering and accomplishment. She has 3 great, calm, smart, active pre-teens and a very busy professional life. It’s entirely possible to raise an entire litter at the same time and retain one’s sanity, or so I remind myself in weak moments.

Re the sleeping thing: Sam’s doc is a young, engaging and very interested doctor and I trust him to keep up with the latest developments. His take on the sleep regression has a positive spin. “Sleep regression is a sign of a maturing, growing mind; a more sophisticated baby. She didn’t really know where she was in the world the first few months and couldn’t much tell a warm and dark room from a warm and dark womb. But now that she’s older, she’s aware of her mom and dad’s presence and your absence, too. When she stirs she needs to know that you are nearby, needs that reassurance. Unfortunately the bad habit of checking for you is hard to break, but you can try lots of things. A dark room. A very quiet voice; feed her if she wants to eat, but don’t let her play. Rock her or sooth her back to sleep, tuck her in, whatever it takes so mom and dad have peace. This will resolve itself in time. Sometimes weeks, some parents will tell you it takes years. It all depends on the baby, really.”

So… no advice, but reassurance that sleep regression may feel like a step backwards, but in terms of a baby’s development, it’s a step forward.

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Thanks for the advice y’all. I will try to more patient with her. She was so tired today from keeping herself awake last night that she didn’t do taekwondo. We sat and watched her brother do class. Hopefully she will sleep well tonight. Also a doctor friend of ours suggested benadryl so we did that too along with decongestant because both my little one are so stuffy right now.

92

So it turns out today is “more than a mother” day, did you know that? No, I didn’t either till I woke up this morning, slightly surprised to find my husband hasn’t left for work, only to be told that in celebration of “all the things you are as well as a brilliant mother” I am getting breakfast in bed, then spending the morning in the spa getting pampered whilst he looks after our daughter, then we are all going out for lunch, and tonight I’m having a night on the town with my friends!

How brilliant is that? I have the worlds best husband!

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How wonderful, Jenny! I hope you enjoy it. I thought of you all with wee babies last night when my daughter was crying on my shoulder over college vs. boyfriend woes. Girl your loins, girls, for the bumpy ride in about 18 years. :slight_smile:

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Fingers crossed for you Sattua! And Jennyrosity, you do indeed have a wonderful husband!

To those experiencing baby sleep regressions, only because some have asked for advice (not that I truly have it all figured out yet): the only thing that worked for us was cry it out. We tried going into our little guy’s room, talking to him, patting him on the back, rocking him, etc. The only thing that ever really worked was giving him a bottle, but when he started waking up every 45 minutes for a bottle around 4 months, it got to be too much. We ended up letting him cry and it took about an hour the first night. Anyone who says cry it out is the “easy way out” hasn’t listened to their baby cry for an hour. It was awful, and I felt horrible. But the next night was much shorter and by night 3 or 4, he wasn’t waking every hour and was back to feeding every 4 hours.

Cry it out isn’t for everyone, but I’ll say this - if it’s going to work for you, it’s probably going to be quick, a couple of nights at most. They’ll either figure out how to self-soothe or they won’t. And once he was sleeping at night again, he completely changed and became a much happier baby. We’ve since had to do cry it out twice more - once during the 9 month sleep regression, when he was starting to crawl, and once when he was 14 months old and still feeding every 4 hours out of habit. For our guy, there truly wasn’t any other way to calm him when he cried, otherwise I probably would have opted for another method.

I’m not saying anyone should necessarily try cry it out, and I definitely get why people would NOT want to try it. I’m writing this so that for those of you who have run out of options, you don’t have to feel so guilty about trying something that will be really hard in the short run but ultimately will lead to a MUCH happier baby. And if it doesn’t work, you can always wait a month or two and then try again. Babies change so much, so quickly.

In baby-cuteness news, I took our little guy to a friend’s house today and he chased her kitten for a good half hour. (The kitten was very quick to get out of the way, and was both fascinated and terrified of the little human.) Totally made my day. And what was also funny was how he absorbed my mood - I was excited to go over to my friend’s house, and the whole way there in the car, he kept making all his excited sounds, very cute!

95

At 9 months and 25 days… she’s finally crawling. Everywhere. And she’s fast. Anyone else have news?

96

I know some of your have probably already seen this thread, but I am having some contractions, at 29 weeks, and I am just trying to take it easy in the mean time. The twins have been great trying to take care of me and be extra good to keep me from stressing. My husband has been a doll helping me rest. I am one lucky momma.

97

Poor April. No more zoo for you, honey.

I miscarried on Wednesday.

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Ah, no, Sattua, I’m so sorry. Rest, take care of yourself and stay healthy. Rooting for you.

You, too, April R. Stay put, hubby can take care of the kids. You have one job right now, and that’s to relax and be as still and calm as possible.

99

I am so sorry. How are you dealing. I can’t even imagine what you are going through.

100

It was an early loss and I had been at best cautiously optimistic. I’m disappointed, but it doesn’t come to grief. I think what you’re going through is more traumatic.