Is such a quality conducive to one’s success in making cheese? You need to remember to turn the cheese during the aging process, after all. And there are even some varieties, I understand, that can go from ingredients pantry to finished product in a single session.
Is this why it’s just a wish?
Bah. Not at all. The partners end up not really liking most of them anyway. And they spend so much time partying at firm expense that they really don’t have a whole lot to do with my end of the business, anyway. Perhaps this is different in other divisions, but we don’t really give two shits about summers in CR.
What kind of pit thread is this? It’s full of lawyers and their syncopates patting each other on the back and making law school jokes.
Phffftttt! Where’s Treis? Huh? So, he’s a no-show? Good thing I came along to save this pathetic excuse for a flamefest.
Yo! You are the King of Jerkenstonia Mr. Jerkenstein. When someone needs to give a door a good jerk, they call you. There’s a picture of you on the bottle of Jerkin’s Lotion. You are the jerkiest jerker that ever jerked a jerk. And you got a girly username.
I’d like to register a formal complaint.
Sua and all the rest of you lawyer types in here, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves! You’re ruining my bad impression of lawyers. Y’all think y’all so bad, but I’m here to tell you you’re just boring. Mind you, I haven’t read the thread in question where Treis is showin’ out, but that’s beside the point. I want to see y’all act like REAL lawyers are supposed to act. So far in this thread y’all have been civil, haven’t tried to stab each other or anyone else in the back, and, dangit, I ain’t heard cuss word the first in here! I have to agree with Biggirl. This Pit Thread, if you can call it that, SUCKS. You hear me? It’s LAME, and I know y’all can do better than this. Restore my faith in lawyers being the scum of the earth. Be mean. Insult one another. Do something interesting. Jesus, you know it’s sad when I feel compelled to come in here and scold y’all for not being mean.
Now you folks GET BUSY in here, stop talking about boring old law stuff [shudder], and entertain me, goshdarnit, because like everone else around here I pay good money, and when I step into the Pit, I expect to get my $$$ worth. Do you hear me?
Treis, get your tail in here and start cussin’ out Sua or something. I want to see a genuine brawl up in here.
Now move it!
That’s it. Come Monday, I’m filing a lawsuit. Damn you celestina!
What are you looking at me for? I’m not a fuckin’ lawyer. 
Now, that’s more like it, Hamlet! Btw, Fuck you too, Darlin’. 
You’ve broken the ice and said the first cuss word in here, and you’re going to file a lawsuit too. I’m ecstatic! Yea!!! I knew you could do it. I knew y’all wouldn’t let me down.
Oh, and Maeglin, Sugar. Details. Details. You work for lawyers, don’t you? That means you’re guilty and therefore scum by association. So that means I’m fuckin’ lookin’ for you to fuckin’ start a fuckin’ fight. That’s what I’m fuckin’ lookin’ for around here. You understand? 
Now, y’all are off to a good start, but let’s get some more cuss words in here. And, for chissakes, somebody break something. You know it’s not a party yet until somebody breaks something or a fight breaks out somewhere. It’d help if we had some mood music in here too. You know, something to intimate an increase in tension because we’re anticipatin’ something big’s fixin’ to happen.
Details? I’m an overworked, underpaid paralegal with anger management issues.
Which pretty much describes every other paralegal on the face of the earth.
And best of all, I’m in the bankruptcy/creditor’s rights division. I profit from everyone elses’ losses. I am just that reprehensible.
Major corporation liquidates? Huge paid overtime for me. Woo ha.
How’s that for scum?
Yep, that’ll do nicely, Maeglin. You’re scum alright, taking advantage of those POOR corporations who’ve fallen on hard times. For shame. Those corporations never hurt anybody, and you’ve got the audacity to make money off of their misfortunes.
Now, get out there and start a fight with some of the other scummy law types in this thread.
Sua said
If you feel “dissed” now, just wait til the Reader starts charging for access. Then you can PAY to have to talk to yourself!
While we’re waiting for the guest of honor, and seeing as how the shar…, er, uh lawyers are loath to criticize each other, I will share my (true) story:
When I owned my own coin store, I had ONE lawyer for a customer, even though my store was in the middle of downtown and gobs of lawyers. He was the nicest guy in the world, and I told him to his face that I would never use him professionally as he couldn’t be any good, considering how easily he let me advise him on coin purchases.
Another lawyer was a weekly visitor, but NEVER bought anything. I once told him to his face WHY–“Tony, I says, the skills which make you good at your job keep you from being a customer of mine. I’ll explain it to you.”
“If I took a $10 bill out of my pocket, put it in a 50 cent holder, and marked it $8.00, you would come into the store, ask to see the bill in the case, offer me $5.00 for it. I would say, NOPE, it’s $8.00. You would then offer me $6. for it. I would say, NOPE, it’s $8.00. You would then walk out of the store because I refuse to take your offers.” He still never bought anything. :wally