For me, it’s something bad happening to Mrs. Rhymer when I’m away.
I’m going out of town for a few days. This isn’t the first time Kim & I have been apart since we’ve been married, but nonetheless it’s worrisome. You see, we live too far from where my best friend from high school was attacked (in her own home), kidnapped, and, well, you get the idea. Last time we were apart I had a hard time getting to sleep until I knew she was home safe, and more than once I fought the urge to call her in the middle of the night.
I know it’s an overreaction. But I can’t help but worry.
Anyway, that’s just me. What keeps YOU up at night?
The fact that I’m missing out on true, affectionate, kind, supportive, respectful love and the chance to have a baby…for now. And the stress that will be involved in rectifying/ending the situation to go in search of the aforementioned.
The idea that I’ll think I’m just having another panic attack, pop a xanax and wait for it to subside, then die of an aneurism or something. Actually, that doesn’t usually keep me awake, but it’s something I think about…usually while having a panic attack…yeah, that helps!
Nothing really keeps me awake any more. I’m on a crapload of drugs, and one or more of them helps me sleep very, very well. However, in the past I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights worrying about a lot of things. The two main ones are that something will happen to my husband (who is 52 and had a heart attack in his mid-40s) and that someone will hurt my dogs.
I had a great cognitive therapist who showed me that thinking these scenarios through to the bitter end–someone breaks into the house, kills my dogs, I come home and find it, I grieve, we bury the dogs, life goes on–takes the power away from them. Generally I’d get stuck in the moment where the dogs were killed or my husband died and never leave that place, and that’s what caused the anxiety. That strategy has worked well for me.
Thanks, but I wasn’t really looking for advice. A better thread title might have been “What makes sleep harder to achieve.”
That said… what works for me is preparation: thinking through ways to handle bad situations. Since what I fear for is my wife’s safety, that involves knowing that she has a plan, trusting that she will follow through on it, and accepting that I cannot protect her from every danger.
I worry about Mr J and his cars. He’s not afraid to push a car to it’s limit, which usually involves him and a buddy on the deserted highway late at night. It scares the hell out of me. Aside from the fear of an awful car wreck, what worries me is if something happened I’d be the last to find out. We’re not married/living together yet and he’s not in contact with his family… If he ended up in the hospital or worse. I don’t know who would inform me.
At the moment, it’s how to make bricks without straw at work, thanks to a divided and obstructive board of directors. Trying to keep the doors open on a cultural institution in a bad economy, in the aftermath of floods earlier in the year, and after a drawn-out, botched land sale that was supposed to gain the institution an operating endowment. Looking at a 20% pay cut for myself and cuts in programming. Trying to work out how to begin the planned recovery when our feet have just been cut off. Waiting to find out how far away the job my husband will have to take will be and how often we’ll be able to see eacho other for the next two years.
Still, we are both healthy and haven’t had to declare bankruptcy, so we are still better off then many people I know. After starting off so well, the year looks likely to end in a pretty big pity party. Time to get out the funny hats and cheap booze.
For me it is over thinking everything and never coming to a conclusion. It starts with work. Then goes to projects. Missing deadlines. Disappointing people. Being a failure. How not to become a failure. Failing at not becoming a failure. It never ends. It’s like a loop.
Going over my past and the choices I have made. Knowing that I can’t change them or fix them, yet going over every little detail in my head as to what happened and how would it have turned out different had I done something else. What is the point? I can’t go back and I can’t change it. So why go over it in my head, but choosing different options and imagine what it would be like now if I made those choices…
So not so much worry, I guess… Just over analyzing.
I’m sure he wouldn’t mind - for my peace of mind. Of course I’m in his iphone - but things like that can get lost or ruined easily. Why didn’t I think of that? :smack:
Ha! That’s another thing I worry about - that I’ll be a basket case by the time I’m 30 (7 years to go). I’m already in therapy so I guess I have a head start. :rolleyes:
The thought that I will never again find an acceptable job. I keep getting job offers, but they are for soliciting donations in the street or harrassing the elderly over the phone about their medicaid or whatever. I just want a decent job with a company that isn’t corrupt and here lately I just feel like that will never happen.
That’s good, because I wasn’t offering advice, just answering the question and adding a bit of my own experience. Sorry it wasn’t to your liking–but I won’t lose any sleep over it.
“How did I do on the LSAT? Will I be able to go to a law school that isn’t “Hollywood Upstairs School of Law”? With the credit crunch, will I be able to get the loans I need? I better have gotten a good enough score for a scholarship, then. Should I even bother going, the way the economy is?”
That’s my internal nighttime monologue lately anyways, interspersed with the usual things: embarrassing shit I did 20 years ago, the gaffe I made today, and the terrifying vistas of screwing up that I am sure are on the horizon.
That something will happen to one of my kids…illness, accident, death. Then I’ll have to go on for the remaining child, trying not to fall into the abyss, trying to console them after the loss of their sibling.
Ditto for my husband. With him, I fear a long, lingering illness like lung cancer or emphysema that will debilitate us and THEN kill him.
Work…pressure, deadlines, performance issues.
Fire.
Financial worries. Never getting ahead from where we are now.
I’m really a barrel of fun to have around.
That’s me, minus the Xanax. I’ll talk myself down from whatever mental ledge I’m on and be fine for a few seconds, then think…but maybe I really AM having a heart attack!
