Damn, that sucks Fenris, hope you feel better soon.
In the meantime, at least you have two weapons at your disposal…
BTW, don’t hesitate to ask the store personel for assistance. I was always happy to help those in need when I worked at Kmart.
One of my best childhood memories is of a radio in a small park playing “Groovin’” on a beautiful weekend morning.
No, I’m not old. Just fermented.
Lord, son. Did no one ever tell you that you’re supposed to support your weight with your hands on the little handhold thingies?
Man, armpit bruises. No thanks. Yikes.
No kidding. Not to mention, with a really good leg or foot injury, by the time you get off the crutches your arms are BUFF.
Yeh, but the injured leg is a skinny piece of overcooked spaghetti, at least if it’s been in a cast.
Next time someone dings you in any way, Fenris, how about a mega-decibel howl of anguish while you scrunch your eyes shut as you fling your crutch-engaged arms out in a flailing circle?
What ETF said. If someone pisses you off, you’ve already got a pair of blunt instruments handy.
Aw man…I think I’m in love! Nobody tell my new boyfriend, though, please. 
Not knowing what song this is from, I sang it to the tune of “Panic” by the Smiths.
Well, see, it was sort of a unique situation.
I was in college at the time. That very semester, I had scored a room in the primo new dorms – more like condos than dorms. Sure, they were stuck waaaay off on the side of the campus, away from everything, but that just meant they were quiet. Not convenient to anything, especially on a campus that had all its main educational buildings in the middle of the quad, where there were no cars allowed. Under normal circumstances, that wasn’t a big deal.
With crutches, I suddenly realized just how far away everything was. Plus, because I had to lug books and such to and from class, at least one hand was pretty much useless for hanging on to the little handgrip-things on the crutch. I tried a backpack, but the shoulder straps kept getting tangled up in the crutches.
It was only for two weeks, but I was hurtin’ by the time that two weeks had gone by.
The infamous Asshole Song by Denis Leary. Incredibly funny. And the song itself is readily available from places I can’t mention (where songs fall off the backs of trucks).
Poor Fenris with the sore foot! Now, you see, in NYC you wouldn’t have this problem, because we have never ever seen nor heard of ‘riding carts’.
See, what you have to do next time is go into a Ralph Macchio crane-stance type posture and smear infected foot pus on the offender. If it’s the extra stinky semi-gangrenous variety, so much the better.
I didn’t mind having that song playing in my head on continuous loop yeaterday afternoon so much, but if it had been anything by Neil Diamond I’d have had to come over there and stomp on your foot.
Hey, your namesake bit the hand off Balder, so you’re justified in doing the same who jump ahead of you in line.
A few years ago, a friend worked security at the local Pavillion. He told me anybody who came in with a cast on their leg could get a seat in the handicap section with a guest.
My friends James had orthoscopic surgery on his knee, so he got his own pair of crutches and cast. We went to see Jethro Tull in concert, and while paying for the parking ticket, I asked the attendant if there was any way we could park closer to the front gate, because of my poor crippled friend. He replied “Don’t tell anybody I did this” and handed us a VIP pass. We got to park by the front gates, drink beer, and laugh at the people having to walk all the way from the fringe lots.
James is a master mooch. He has no shame in taking advantage of any situation. When we got inside, he said “I’m going to see if I can get a golfcart ride.” Sure enough, he did. We got transported over to the seats, then escorted to the handicapped section. It’s beside the corporate section, behind the Gold Circle.
James once again worked his mooch magic. He got the waittress for the corporate section to bring us more beers.
Nice thing about it, we didn’t have to stand up the entire concert. All that were in front of us were people in wheelchairs.
During the concert, James fell in love with a girl sitting next to us who had degenerative bone disease. He forgot her name, and spent the next several days looking through the phone book.