There are just some things in life that you begin to accept as fact. The sun rising in the east, death, taxes and etc. The “Sara Lee” slogan certainly fell into that category for your friendly neighborhood NothingMan. Why its “nobody does it like Sara Lee” of course. Thats what they sing in the little jingle at the end of their TV and radio commercials. Nobody does it like Sara Lee. For years I’ve known that.
Egads.
It was a new developement in the Sara Lee commercials that has shaken my world. Seems in the latest round of ads the jingle is not only sung but printed right there at the bottom of my screen. In large black letters. In english. Right there:
“Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee.”
What?? Nobody doesn’t huh? This is too much. My sky is falling in thick glass shards made of lies. My place in existence is wavering. I that I knew this motto. I mean like Rumsfeld said - there are things that I know I don’t know and I knew that I knew Ms. Lees true colors. Not one other company could claim to “do it like” her.
Whatever am I to do? I feel as if I am suffocating in the firm grip of lost syllables and pillowy pound cake. Chocolate and contractions. Deli rolls and double negatives.
Personally, I keep pretending it’s “Nobody does it like Sarah Lee”. I don’t like “Nobody doesn’t like” and it’s not like it comes up in everyday conversations. Although, their newest ad campaign is making it a bit hard.
Here, have some crumb cake. You need to keep up your strength. Why, just last week I found out that in “Daddy Took the T-Bird Away” it was a Roman chariot race, not a Rototarian race. I felt pretty weak for a few days, but slowly, slowly I’m able to come out of a darkened room for two, maybe three hours a day.
I don’t know if this is the case or not, but I think that the original motto wasNo body does it like Sara Lee, but people were questioning what it was, “does it” or “doesn’t”, and they are cashing in on it with a new ad campaign.
I now have a craving for Sara Lee Cheesecake. I remember taking a weekend trip from Tokyo to Guam a few years back and loading up on Sara Lee at the supermarket…I’m sure the customs agents who inspected my luggage got a giggle out of the large amount of baked goods in my suitcase on my return.
It has to be doesn’t not does it because otherwise, my favorite put-down from junior high school makes no sense!
Whenever someone in my circle got made fun of for being a dork, nerd, geek or whatever, we’d roll our eyes at one another going “Oh, and he’s just so S.A.R.A.L.E.E.” Used to drive the beautiful kids mad that we weren’t crushed by them.
Similar And Regular And Like Everyone Else. Or, exactly the plasticized stepford twinset-wearing sheeple we didn’t want to become.
Acronymnizing the brand name didn’t make me any less a fan of the yummy baked offerings, though.
I thought I was the only one with this problem. I mentioned it to several close friends and relatives who all looked at me like I had something nasty on my shoe. Thank you, at least I know now that I am not alone.
In a related news item: Notes and lyrics uncovered among the belongings of late artist Jimi Hendrix reveal that the lyrics actually were, “Excuse me, while I kiss this guy.”
I haven’t seen their new ad campaign yet. But I still pretend that it’s “Nobody does it like Sara Lee”. That’s how I’ve always thought of it and after 30 years I’m NOT going to change things now, dagnabit!