Am I a hermit?

TMI, look out. Guys may not want to read this (I wouldn’t want to read this about another guy, but I think with girls maybe it’s different somehow).

I hate meeting people. It’s a bothersome, troublesome chore that I would rather just not take to. I try it often though, because I want to get laid as badly as the next guy, but the fishies just don’t bite. Most of the time I’d rather not waste my time or my money going out, so I just stay at home and masturbate - it’s so much easier. But it’s lonely.

I’m always myself - depending on the tides and the weather, I may be very shy and insecure, or I may be obvious and shameless. But I never try to put on an act; not consciously, anyhow.

The only reason I wouldn’t call myself a hermit is because I want to meet girls - lots and lots of them - other than that, I’m very happy spending most of my time by myself. But it’s really depressing, sometimes painfully so. I’m a wonderful guy in lots of different ways - smart, cautious, love my job *and *my paycheck, a musician, very clean, kinda’ good looking, a big dick even, just to name a few - but I suck at meeting people. Like, really really bad. You have no idea just how bad. It’s really fucking depressing sometimes, and even though life is great I can’t help feeling really sad for myself sometimes. I think I got fucked up because of some early relationships, but that’s just a hunch and I can’t prove it. It’s sad.

It’s so embarrassing to post this… but I don’t know what else to do. I’m lost, I’m all out of options. I need someone to help me catch a clue. Maybe I’m a just hermit and always will be. Are hermits allowed to have wives/girlfriends/hot-friends-with-benefits?

I hope so, cause when you unlock the secret, let me know.

I’ll go crawl back into my shell again.

Well, hmmm… Speaking as someone who has dated a hermit in the past it’s a tough road to travel. But, speaking as someone who also hates to meet people, have you tried meeting women online? There have got to be a million different specialty dating sites. For instance I am a Very Large woman and I met my boyfriend on a site for Large People and those who admire them.

I hate meeting people, too, and I could almost just hole up in my apartment by myself for weeks on end if I didn’t have to work and shop. I’m very shy- not when I get to know someone, but right at first I am and meeting people is hell. I used to feel bad about it and beat myself up for not being outgoing and “normal”. But then I learned that shyness can be a genetic trait, especially if you’re very sensitive like I am, and now I don’t feel bad about it. Not saying it’s a good idea to always indulge it, because you do have to get out there and meet people in order to have an interesting life and/or relationships- but you can learn to compensate for the shyness and get out there if that’s what you want.

Practice, practice, practice, and the more you pretend to be comfortable being out there, the more comfortable you actually will be.

Tried it a bunch of times. I met one girl who liked me (I didn’t like her), and lots and lots of junk mail (fucking weird, that, considering you have to pay to send me junk mail). Given up on it. It’s like trying to find a job on the internet - too many fishermen and not enough fishies.


You know that saying about you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince?

It’s true. Trust me, it works. Don’t give up.