Does taking a pool with friends over what time the Choking of the Cubs will occur make me a jerk? Does turning to the television every so often to check the score and see if they’re fouled up yet mean I’m an asshat? What about when I saw their three run lead disappear in the 8th? Or when I danced when the Marlins scored again, shouting “Cubbies suck, Cubbies suck!”?
Does that make me an insensitive bastard?
I’m not rooting for the Red Sox against the Yankees because they’re the underdog. Un-American?. I’m taking bets on which game the Red Sox will strangle themselves so that the Yankees will once again destroy their city, like they did that game in the eighties.
Why, you ask? Because I like to root for the bad guys for some reason. Worthless pile of scum?
Why should I care that the fuckin’ Cubbies do well in the series, just because I have an irrational hatred towards them? They don’t deserve to be in the series; they only won because my fuckin’ team fuckin choked. Am I a bitter assfuck?
I don’t even like Baseball that much. It’s a boring as hell game, quite frankly. The good part is the discussion of statistics afterwards. That’s why I will shed no tears when the Cubbies and Red Sox go home at the end of this season.
Once Boston dies (which it surely will) this will lead us to a Marlins-Yankees contest with only one logical conclusion. Would you call me a fuckwit for seeing this coming a mile away? Some of you would.
The Yankees are evil, and that is why, in the absence of my team, I will cheer for them. Joe Torre is Darth Vader, and Steinbrenner is Palpatine. Just say it: I’m an ass clown.
Maybe the t-shirt I made didn’t help. I’m fuckingly similar to the manner of shit a dog won’t touch. But I don’t care because there’s nothing you can do about.
The rebel scum will be annihilated; prepare to be assimilated into the Empire.
The Evil Empire strikes again!