Good lord she better not fancy me.
I think a change of shift pattern would be good too, I’m definately going to investigate both, limiting contact and being away from her would be huge improvement.
Since she is working in sales and not as a psychologist, I take she only has a BA. Approximately a billion undergrads get BAs in psychology every year and the degree is just about useless except as a ticket to grad school. I am pretty sure that manipulating people based on their weaknesses is not really a part of the curriculum either, so other than having some big words to throw at you the degree is largely irrelevent.
That’s another thing, I told her I dropped out of Uni, and every once in a while, to back up her ‘You’re a retard’ claim, she’ll throw that in my face.
And she sounds like, maturity-wise, she never left jr. high. I mean, if she’s got a BA, she’s got to be at least in her mid-20s, right? She sounds like a teenager, and a “young” teenager at that.
How old are you? How old is she?
I am asking because it seems clear from what you have written that you are not being “manipulated” (What would her goal be?) but you are being outright abused. Why are you letting her treat you like this?
And yet, she’s doing the same kind of job that you are, on the same team? Okay, the first thing you need to do is drop that first line of your OP. You DO NOT have a friend at work, you have a co-worker. And an abusive and counterproductive one, at that. I know it seems a bit scary to let this one go and then face being alone, but I think that’s the only way you’re going to be able to make new friends. She needs somebody to kick around. Make her find somebody else.
Please listen to tdn.
I’m 23, 24 next month, you know I almost broke down today because I thought I’d been reduced to this bullshit, because I’ve been reduced to her ‘little bitch boy’ and I’m naive and I brought it on myself. But like I said earlier, I’ve not got the best response time to this, I like only know this shit happens when it’s right on top of me. She was there and helped me after I got into a shitty relationship with a girl I liked, and we had both has similar experiences in regards to that, and it progressed from there.
In Hindsight though it just seems she was waiting to get her hooks into me so that I was completely dependent on her for support. No wonder I nearly broke down today lol.
I will start tomorrow to implement this, I will keep you all informed of my progress, to be honest I’m scared shitless.
I’ve known a couple of people exactly like this. I was going to quote some particular points, but I may as well repost the whole thing verbatim: name calling, acting superior, disparaging your plans and goals, constant complaining, et cetera, ad nauseum.
I’d say that yes, she’s manipulating you, and her “end” is to get you to be her friend, in spite of her giving you zero reason to actually like her.
I think that a) you’re susceptible to this because you tend to feel weird and isolated, and so you don’t want to push anyone away b) she’s figured this out, consciously or not, and that is precisely why she treats you badly: the more you feel like a piece of poop, the less likely you are to blow her off in favor of other, better friends. And of course, she builds herself up to make sure you know that you could never find a better friend than her, anyway.
Basically, you’ve got a textbook case on your hands, and the only thing for it is to stop being “friends” with her. Yes, it might seem more difficult because you work with her, but it’s really not. Just treat her like you would any other co-worker. Be cordial and cooperative, but don’t tell her your plans and goals or anything non-work related, don’t hang out with her outside of work (“Thanks, but I’m not interested” should suffice; repeat as necessary), and don’t let her call you names.
About the name-calling in specific, if you can respond when she does it, great (to quote the wise tdn, “That’s unacceptable and you need to stop.”). But if not, I’d actually suggest you just let it go. Clearly, she enjoys knowing it gets to you, so discussing it further will be counter-productive.
In short, you’ve got stop thinking of her as a “friend”, rather than “some strange person who is unaccountably mean to you”, and act accordingly.
And seeing your last comments, let me just add that I speak from experience. I was the ‘little bitch’ myself once, and I know you feel stupid for having let it develop into this, and I know you feel scared about ending it. Don’t. I’ve done it and lived to tell the tale. So will you.
Fantastic! Just remember that you’ve got support here.
When you tell her that, make sure you don’t yell, and certainly don’t whine. Just report it like you’re reading the news. If she calls you a name in response, or tells you that you are too sensitive, just repeat. Another thing you can say, to echo Enderw24, is “Wow. You have really low self-esteem.” Same tone of voice. That’ll totally blindside her.
Aw, shucks! Sounds like you’ve got the wisdom thing going on yourself. Actually, lots of spot-on advice in this thread.
We’re awesome. 
Hey, here’s some advice. Don’t post the same whiny OP over and over.
People took the time to respond to you in that thread. You rejected their advice. Now you’re back a mere three months later with the same shit.
You don’t want advice. You want attention.
Grow a spine. Grow some balls. Grow up.
And if you can’t do it without help, get the help that you need. In real life.
Wow. Did even read the thread? The OP says he’s actually implementing the advice given. All you are accomplishing is belittling him for his previous mistake. One that he is actively trying to fix.
Now, if he came back and said he wasn’t going to do anything, then you might have a point. But otherwise, you’re the one that comes off as immature for apparently not being able to let a past post go. I sincerely hope this is not the case.
If he’s “actively implementing the advice given,” how do you explain this thread?
I’m not sure what you mean by “not being able to let a past post go.” When I read this, I said to myself “this sounds familiar.” To satisfy my own curiosity, I just did a “show all threads started by” search and the one from 3 months ago popped right up.
Once I read it, I was struck by the fact that he wasn’t implementing the advice given, but continuing to stay embroiled in a ridiculous situation. The fact that this is still an issue is entirely his fault. The whole “am I being manipulated” thing is just an excuse to keep up his pity party. If he can’t deal with this, the answer is that he needs to get himself to a therapist, stat.
Am I being harsh? Yes. But he needs a kick in the ass. Will the words of some random stranger on the internet make a difference? Probably not.
But this is the problem–this is one of his first “real jobs” and he doesn’t know how to treat people like any other co-worker, or even what that means. Judging from the first thread and this one, he and his co-workers are very familiar with one another and act like it’s a social venue as well as a work one. I didn’t know the difference as a kid either. The best advice is to start over somewhere else and do everything differently, but that probably won’t happen.
A careful read tells us that the OP claimed he WILL implement the advice. It’s premature to say that he IS implementing the advice.
[nitpick]“Actually implementing” was not a clear expression of what the OP claimed, and “actively implementing” was not an accurate relation of BigT stated.[/nitpick]
Only time will tell, of course, whether anything gets implemented.
Ok guys an update, now I’ve implemented the advice, and I think she knows or something, because she’s being extra nice to me, I’ve tried just one worded replies, saying I’m going to eat dinner at another place where she doesn’t. She ended up following me, and saying I was really snappy, and how we’re like ‘brother and sister’ I feel weird, like it’s uncomfortable, but I know I have to do this and I know it’s because I’m just used to it. By the end of the day she was like ignoring me.
I read this thread several times, and just finished reading the thread Green Bean provided as well.
Your “friend” is manipulating you and you are allowing to be manipulated by her.
Grow some stones and end the “friendship.” It will be easier said than done.
Realistically speaking, how many people mentally leave Jr. High? I see this kind of behavior all the time from adults…with children.
I conflated “actually implementing” and “actively trying to fix.” My apologies.
Boy, I guess the T family sticks together!