I like wearing boxer briefs, because they don’t look as ridiculous as briefs but offer the, ah, support you need when you’re well-… well, I just like them.
Anyway, I wear “Prodige” boxer briefs a lot. Lately I have noticed that they all seem to wear out by first developing holes right at Anus Ground Zero, if you catch my drift. And it’s happening faster than you would hope your underwear would wear out. This seems like a really strange place for wear. They’re not splitting at a seam or tearing away from the waistband (which, IIRC, is the way my underwear always used to wear out.) I wear the proper size and my ass is not unusually large for that size. So it is possible that the, uh, moisture and stuff created by, uh, flatulence and whatnot is causing the fibers in the ass of my boxer briefs to wear out faster? My other clothes aren’t dying en masse so it’s not the detergent I use.
I have tried switching to other brands, like Fruit of the Loom, but I haven’t been wearing them long enough to conduct a reliable survey of relative wear levels.
For what it’s worth, I have not been eating more beans than usual lately. So why does it appear that I am blowing holes in my shorts?
You sir have hit on an important,if little known fact. Underwear companies I believe are making the fabric a little thin at that point in the undie pattern. They must be. It’s either that, or each and every male I have ever known has the same problem.
Come to think of it, that might be it. . . . .
It very well could be the gawd-awfull farts that men seem so proud of. Or it could just be all of the itching and digging for gold that men seem to favor. Does all that hair on your butts make it itch a lot or something? Or is someone just not wiping clean? . . . Hmmmmmmmm
Great thread title, by the way. I burst out laughing just reading it, and knew I had to check it out.
aenea, I’m not sure this is the answer. IANAG (I am not a guy), but I certainly have been known to emit scents that could be described as “gawd-awful” (the phrase “she can peel paint” has been used, I believe). And I don’t find that my underthings have holes in the butts. Although since I’ve been partial to the thong-style lately, that may skew my results.
But thanks for making my morning! Took me a while to clear the coke off the screen.
And now that you’ve enlightened us, I will join you and admit I have the same problem with my Jockeys. Wonder if it might have something to do with acidic content of the fumes?
This may be one for Bro Cecil.
You think that’s bad? My brother had a bathrobe with the exact same blowout in the back. And that’s after penetrating any pj’s or underwear he was wearing at the time. Seriosly corrosive flatus, I’d say.
I think the phenomenon might be caused by the friction of the ass-cheeks at ground-zero.
It’s either that or some kind of mutiny. If I had karma bad enough to be re-incarnated as the cotton plant that became the part of fabric that covers the ground-zero part of the ass in a later life. I’d do my best to get as far away from the detonation zone also. It may not be wearing thin, there’s probably just not many survivors left.
The way I figure it is, the combination of the heat, moisture, and methane of the fart; the bleach in your wash wearing out the fabric; and the relative weakness of the fabric itself is unable to stand up to repeated sitting, squirming, and standing (Not to mention scratching).
Thus, Anus Ground Zero wears thin.
I have noticed that what I eat affects the severity of my… um …emissions?
If I consume lotsa beer or eat a spicy Mexican dinner, I am inevitably scratching my ass like a lottery addict.
I am inclined to guess:
A. Stomach acids are prevalent in certain “paint peeling” flatulation
B. Confusious say: He who sleeps with itchy butt not only wakes up with stinky finger, he also needs new BVD’s. The simple act of rooting around at ground zero causes undies to deteriorate.
You know when you take a blade of grass, hold it tight in front of your mouth and blow across it? You know it makes that whistling noise? Yeah, that’s it! Now I’m freakin’ picturing a gal farting across the string of some thong drawers.
BTW- My wife said that women don’t fart, they poot.
I have to disagree with the whole friction idea.
Think about it. Unless you have an enormously fat ass, what part of your underwear makes the least amount of contact with your rear? The crack area. (God, this is retarted).
Speaking from the perspective of a skinny guy, that should be the LAST place to wear out from friction.
Well, it certainly could be friction. The parts clinging to the cheeks generally stay in place, relative both to the ass and the pants. But the crotchal area is where all the action is–when walking, and even more so perhaps, when sitting and standing.
i wear boxer briefs alot too, but my wear is usually in the crotchal area (i’m up on my feet and walking all day). i’ve never had wear in the anal area…however, my theory is that it IS friction, but my theory only stands up if you have…
…a whole bunch of butt hair.
do you get alot of lint in your butthole area? aame with belly button lint. (not that the fronts of shirts are wearing out alot…)
scout1222, I’m with you on the thongs. Best undies ever invented IMHO. However, even when I wore regular full-butt undies, there were never the holes and ‘skid marks’ that have been mentioned in this thread. I think women have different undie problems.
I can’t believe I’m contributing to this thread.
I’ve never seen the kind of deterioration you are talking about, but I’d venture to suggest that it’s not due to either friction OR to the velocity of your gusts. I find in my own case that that area of the underwear tends to get moister than the rest – it’s sweat, and possibly other bodily fluids I’d rather not consider. If you get “skid marks” that would contribute, too. The whole area is buried in skin and clothing, and is usually bounded by a chair as well, so it doesn’t get much ventilation and it stays wet. I suggest that the dampness is the leading factor – either causing the fibers to deteriorate or in letting nasty things grow that feed on the fibers. Another good reason to change and wash those undies often.
By the Way, Mrs. Cal hates thongs, and can’t see the point. To her they look like permanent self-imposed wedgies.I think they look sexy, myself, but I admit that they look uncomfortable for long-period wear, as you all seem to be saying.
Perhaps the missing ingredient is a base, like bleach.
I get little holes in the front, right around where the tip of my penis sits. And by the way, you haven’t felt rip-these-damned-clothes-off-of-me-right-now pain until you’ve felt the tip of your penis trying to poke through one of these holes.
My theory is that it results from dribble after I masturbate/have sex. I read somewhere that sperm is somewhat alkaline. Perhaps it’s the high alkalinity that rots the cotton. Perhaps it’s the chemical reaction between a high alkalinity and acidic sweat.
In the case of butthole rot, perhaps it’s residual bleach + sweat + methane that rots the cotton.
