Hmm, for me it’s exactly the opposite. Some fun and turn-ons with intercourse only, but nowhere near an orgasm, in fact not even a build up to one. Also if intercourse only goes on too long without any other stimulation, it quickly turns from a small turn on to decidedly UNCOMFORTABLE. But with oral or other direct stimulation (and my former bf was phenomenal at both and all types of “stimulation” :D) definitely waves and deep satisfaction, as well as multiples with direct or indirect as you describe above.
I forgot to add, could what you describe be related to Gspot stimulation? Since you mention in one specific position.
I think I have a soft spot in my heart for this issue. If there are women out there, not getting the most out of their sex lives, and are feeling discouraged by studies that convince them there is nothing more to try for…well that sucks. Because at least a quarter of these women probably have more in store for them than they could ever dream!
That’s simply not true. When I first masturbated at age fourteen, I wondered whether or not I had experienced an orgasm, even though I ejaculated. I found the experience rather boring; I did not feel a rush of great pleasure.
The clitoris is not an external organ. It is stimulated during vaginal intercourse.
For me personally, I do find that orgasms during intercourse are “rounder”, for lack of a better word. Longer, more wave-like, and more of a full-body experience. I’ve generally attributed this (physiologically) at least partly to the fact that when the muscles start contracting, it’s a whole different feeling when there’s something in there. It’s the difference between just making a fist and actually gripping something.
But I think you also can’t discount the fact that generally, you’re more likely to have an orgasm, and certainly more likely to have a really great orgasm, if what you’re doing really turns you on. When someone says “I usually can only get off in this particular way or position”, I certainly don’t discount the physiology of that way or position, but I think it probably also has something to do with how that way or position makes you feel, psychologically.
I’m a lucky woman, I can get off on a couple of Kegels and a happy thought. But it’s certainly not the same as an orgasm during intercourse (which is far and away my favorite thing in the world to do) with someone who makes me hot.
Also if your guy is hammering away attcha, you’re not going to feel it in the same way. It’s good if he gives you a little downtime to let the whole pulsing thing run its course.
Try this at home: insert raging hard-on, now don’t move. Either of you. Pussy contraction goodness may now ensue! Or maybe that’s just me.
IME they vary from OMG! By toes are going to break! …to just a gentle sigh. The only thing they have in common is a build up of pressure and a release. For that reason, I think it would be hard to diagnose orgasm in another person - especially if that person is not a man.
I haven’t seen much reference in this thread to these uterine contractions. What’s she talking about? I get orgasms, screaming ones, but I don’t have any sensation of uterine contractions. I mostly feel the great event in my genitals and in my head (I mean literal physical sensations in my head, not something psychological).
I’ve had uterine contractions when having babies, but those feelings range from neutral to totally awful.
I only really *feel *uterine contractions during an especially intense orgasm, but I think they’re usually present to some extent whether I feel them or not. Orgasm isn’t a great cure for cramps just because of the distraction.
In the interest of science, here’s a link to some (possibly NSFW) photos of the cervix pre- and post-orgasm.
IME external and internal orgasms don’t just feel different because of how they’re reached – it’s because you’ve got something inside of you. External clitoral orgasms feel different, too, if you have them with a partner (or anything else) inside you.
And thus ends my oversharing for the day. Time for a break.
The first thing to keep in mind is that an enormous amount of women either can’t orgasm or they have extreme difficulty achieving one and so don’t bother. So even if you’re only half way there or you have weak orgasms but you still enjoy sex or masturbation without going insane from frustration and pent up blood pressure in your privates, well, you’re better off than some, not as well off as others. But better than nothing, right?
This doesn’t sound like an orgasm to me unless they’re very weak. Orgasm in either sex is sustained involuntary pelvic floor and anal contractions for 5-15 seconds, with each contraction being associated with euphoria. Bad ones may lack the euphoria, but an orgasm is a physical process. One question I’d ask is it a distinct event? Does it have a beginning and an end, not something that ‘sorta happens’ for 10 minutes? If it’s not an event you can feel about to happen or end then it’s probably not an orgasm.
Do you have any of the following during the episode?
ragged breathing
intense heartbeat (think maxed out from running 5 miles)
involuntary curling/twitching of the toes, fingers, hands, eyelids/eyes
involuntary eye closing or mouth opening
a desire to twist your body and move your limbs (where seizure jokes come from)
a need to vocalize
a feeling of pleasure or electricity shooting up your spine
a feeling of pressure being released in your privates/lower pelvic floor
a feeling of relief
feelings of intense heat or electricity in your vagina in particular and lower body in general
If you have a bunch of those maybe you’re having weaker orgasms. If none, most definitely not IMO – you’re stuck in the plateau phase.
Orgasm and ejaculation are distinct phenomenon. It’s possible to have one without the other. Indeed, many men practice techniques that allow them to repeatedly orgasm without ejaculating (or vice versa, but that’s more of a party trick).
That could be a potential problem. I definitely agree that no cues should ever be taken from porn except maybe what not to do. It’s also possible you’ve never had an orgasm and didn’t know it. No offense intended of course, it’s just surprisingly common.
Here’s a thought for the OP: listen to the Liebestod (“lovedeath”) from Wagner’s Tristan und Isolde. If what you’re feeling is the physical equivalent of the, er, climax of the music…you’re probably having an orgasm.
Happened to me once. It was really, really weird, so much that it almost didn’t happen since I was so distracted. Sad thing is that ever since then my nipples can only take about ten seconds of rubbing before they go “ow, this is irritating.”
I’d say all of them except for the ragged breathing and a feeling of pressure being released from the lower pelvic floor.
Speaking of electricity…I think I now know how to articulate this feeling almost exactly.
Step 1. Arousal
Step 2. It feels like a small bolt of electricity hitting my nether regions and spreading out to the rest of my body. When this is happening, I (or have a strong urge to) curl into fetal position, yell, curse, curl my toes, and slap my hand on whatever near by surface.
Step 3. The “electric” feeling is over, and I feel relaxed and jolted at the same time. It’s hard to explain. I get that relaxed feeling as if I had a good swim, but on the other hand I feel like I had a can or two of red bull.
To anyone who would make a claim to the contrary, I say:
“Come, come, now.”
It only makes sense that it is one of many things we are individualistic about. And, really, your experience doesn’t seem all that unusual. (It’s a bit hard for me to figure all the other signs without the ragged breathing, but maybe that only means that you are especially inclined toward steady breathing.)
Or maybe that’s just me.
