Am I outa line? (Kinda long)

First things first. My wife and I have been married for four years. We hardly every have a disagreement let alone an argument. Quite copasetic.

A couple times a year she and an old girlfriend or two go to a seafood place for drinks and dinner and she invited me along. I absolutely detest seafood, but I know I can get a burger or something so what the heck I go.

I work a slightly different schedule than she so I go home, feed the pets, hang out for a bit and then drive back into town (15 miles) to meet at the restaurant. Hmm, she’s not there. We are both nuts about being prompt but I can’t find her in the restaurant. Oh well, I’ll get a table by the door so I see her when she comes in.

Turns out she was there all the time. Back on an obscure outside deck that you have to know about to find. I have been to this restaurant once before so I’m clueless about the deck. I wait for forty minutes constantly checking the entrance and start getting worried. Although she did call home to see if I did not come, she did not look around the restaurant for me except for the first time she came in (turns out she came in about 5 mins. before I did - told ya we where prompt).

I was watching the front door so I didn’t see any sense in searching the restaurant again. I might have found the deck if I did so I guess that’s an oops on my part.

I finally found her at the bar ordering a drink to take out on the deck (the deck was actually closed to service because it had been raining).

Here’s the final kick in the head. I was about to order my burger and asked what she was going to have. She wasn’t hungry, they had a big meeting at work and some people brought food so she ate there.

I know she wanted me to come. I even offered to stay home and clean because we where having company the next day (wish I had). She said she would prefer that I come if I wanted to.

I did bring this up with her and she apologized. But I swear, I don’t think she understands why I’m a little miffed.

Am I outa line here?

If ‘little miffed’ is a euphemism for ‘pretty pissed’, then I’d say you’re a little out of line. If it’s just a minor gripe that you’ll forget about in a day, then let it slide and next time try to jointly decide an easier place to find each other.

But then, I’m not married, so YMMV.

Tell us how you feel in 24 hours.

It doesn’t sound like she did this on purpose. It was a misunderstanding. Assumptions were made: you assumed she’d be waiting for you; she assumed you knew where the deck was or would look there.

Let it go. I’d be ticked too, but more at the situation not at the person.

Oh, I’ll get over it fine. I just think it would have been nice if she would have thought to look for me.

I went out of my way by having to drive back into town to go to a restaurant that she likes and I detest and she’s already eaten elsewhere. Ow.

I know it was just a dumb blunder. But I do think it was kind of inconsiderate as well. It not something that she does often, I had just hoped that she would see it from my perspective.

Oh Well.

enipla, if I were you, I’d have looked harder for her. If I were her, I’d have looked harder for you.

So, there it is. Chalk it up to One of Those Things and don’t let it eat at ya.