I found that funny (in a cute way).
Why? It’s not misspelled. It’s just lazy grammar.
Forgive me, but curiosity is getting the best of me. Why, at 27, are you “not ready to date”, when you’ve also stated that you’ve never dated? What is keeping you from being ready? Some trauma, or just your particular mores? When do you think you’ll be ready?
As should be obvious, I’m rather slow social-skills-wise. I just don’t really have any particular interest in it. I haven’t been traumatized or anything (except perhaps by my sister’s increasingly bizarre choices in SO’s, but that’s just a basic warning of ‘don’t date freaks’) I have no idea when or if I’ll be ever ready. It doesn’t bother me much.
One of my best friends going way back to middle school (3 decades) is named “Kay”. Well, actually it’s short for his given name, Armenian in origin. But even to today, he is “Kay” (or, as guys do, by the 1/2 dozen other nicknames we have for him). And no, he didn’t get beat up or anything like that because of his name.
Why? 
Which is a long time to be JUST emailing back and forth.
Which would make him a tool.
Which was probably a mistake to mention to a guy you are “dating”.
Being jealous is fine. If a guy isn’t jealous about you hanging out with other guys he doesn’t care about you. BEHAVING like a jealous maniac is not acceptable however.
So what is the purpose of your months long exchange of emails?
Which is generally usual for a 27 year old woman.
Established from the “muse” line.
So it’s easy. Just put Kay on your “blocked” list and that’s that.
Overreacting how? To what? Some dork you email from time to time said he’s jealous about you going to a movie with another dork?
The whole thing is a non-issue because it’s not really a real relationship IMHO.
In that case, don’t date. Don’t let yourself get set up, don’t flirt.
It really isn’t fair to Kay (even if he has few social skills) to have him invest two months in someone who is being presented as a potential girlfriend who really isn’t.
I think you need to do a lot of self reflection, there are a lot of creepy things in this thread (the agnostic at a Christian camp that you think you’d get fired from if they knew you weren’t Christian sort of screams problem) - not related to Kay. I think you need to take the comfortableness you have with who you are and extend that into allowing other people to be comfortable with who you are. Your faking it in public. There is nothing wrong with being 27 and asexual. There is nothing wrong with being agnostic. There is something wrong with pretending you are not these things to other people.
Repeated because I think it’s the right answer. You’ve spoken to the man once. You do all your “talking” on AIM or through email (a medium known for lame jokes). If you can’t handle a lame joke about him being jealous you can’t handle life. Get thee to a shrink.
I think it would be a good thing for the OP to go on a date. Of course she needs to be aware of safety issues, like not getting into a car with him till she knows him better and meeting in a well-lit public place.
Those issues aside, it’s probably time for the OP to stop looking at things a priori and have some experience that will allow for some a posteriori conclusions. You can think things through in your head all you want, but if you have no experience there’s no feedback loop to correct your expectations.
And hell’s bells, it’s just a date! Relationships can be a total PITA and there’s all this junk (compromises, decisions, yadda) down the road. The first date is the easiest part, in a way. What will happen?
A) It won’t be a love connection. Then isn’t it a good thing that the OP isn’t cutting her teeth (you KNOW what I mean) on Sir Lancelot? Only cost one evening of her time to find that out.
B) It will be a love connection. Then dayum, go get him!
C) It will be somewhere in-between. This is the most likely. But no matter how it turns out, it’s a start, experience for the learning curve.
Agreed. Deciding not to date a guy partially because he misspelled the word “kimono” sounds…well, like someone who spends a little too much time typing to other people and not enough time actually interacting with them in real life, honestly.
There are some smart, fun people who just aren’t good spellers/typists. Some people are better at expressing themselves in spoken word.
If I were you, I’d go out with Kay once just to give him a chance since he seems to like you (and the ‘jealous’ stuff merely sounds like a geek’s way of trying to say he likes you, not a threat). If you still don’t like him after that, oh well, at least it was a chance to practice dating before you made a novice mistake with someone you really like (as lobotomyboy63 pointed out). However, you might actually like him better in real life, which is what actually counts. Online interactions are fun but can be deceiving about how you’ll actually click with someone in real life.
There’s no real downside to going on a date. I mean the worst that happens is that you have a mildly crappy evening with someone you aren’t interested in, and in the best case, you have a hell of a lot of fun. If you’ve never dated, and have no desire to do so, then why do you even bother conversing with him?
I mean, I’m a bit younger, but I just recently started dating, and found it very exciting after getting past the fundamental awkwardness of things. Hell, I’m happily in a relationship now after a short period of dating, which I could never have predicted a year ago.
From a risk/reward ratio, there is almost no reason not to do at least go on a few dates, if they’re available. Especially if you haven’t had the experience.
IMHO, calling a guy “K” sounds hot. Short for Kevin, Kyle, something like that. I see a leather jacket and a wolfish grin.
Calling him “Kay” just doesn’t sound hot at all. I see a bad haircut and sweaty palms.
So spelling does matter.
Without trying to delve too deeply into the rest of your life, I’m going to vote as well for “socially inept guy trying to flirt without knowing how”. This is coming from a guy who has spent time in that scene. “I’m a little jealous” sounds like something I’d have said back in the day while intending “Hey, I hope this doesn’t mean you don’t think of me as a potential partner because I’m hoping we give reaching that stage a shot”. I’d mean for it to sound half-joking and stuff but I wouldn’t stop to consider “This might sound stalkerish” or anything. The kimono line, cheesy as it was, was pretty obviously him trying to crack the door into “I’d like to meet you in person” as well as trying to make you feel special (“a muse”).
As someone upthread mentioned, if he actually was possessively upset, he probably would have expressed it via disapproval or mocking your friend or something else more aggressive than “Man, I’m jealous”.
If you don’t want to give the guy a chance for whatever reason, that’s up to you. But, if you are interested, I wouldn’t write off something you might be interested in because he’s a crazy psycho based on the evidence you’ve presented.
Mirriam Webster, when searching for the word “kinda”, says:
Yes, I know what it means. Yes, I use it. But I’m not the one saying I’m a stickler for spelling.
BTW: Gabriel Garcia Marquez (author of 100 Years of Solitude, Love in the Time of Cholera, and other awesome books) cannot spell to save his life. He relies on his editors to correct all of his bad spelling. He also can’t understand basic arithmetic. Doesn’t stop him from being one of the best writers I’ve ever read. I hardly think that spelling ‘kimono’ with all 'o’s means the guy is a moron.
If you don’t want to go out with him, then don’t, but tell him that instead of innocently leading him along for a couple of months. I’d also recommend the idea of getting out and actually interacting with real, live people. It’d do you a world of good.
Wait–you’re 27 and still go to Christian camp? Please tell me that’s as a counselor or entertainer or cook or something. Please.
Glad to know he’s not trying to be a creep. I mean this nicely, but at 27, if you want to date, I think you may have to challenge your comfort zone a bit and actually go out with someone. Maybe even Kay (which is my aunt’s name, so I’m having trouble in this thread).
Just don’t wear a kimono on your first date–you might trigger the whole geisha girl thing.
PS-If she’s never dated, the OP has to get her game together. It isn’t like she will sit there evaluating him and that’s it. Gee, what if he’s a hottie and she trips over her own tongue? Could she make him want to date her? She has to be able to interact well, project the image she wants, all that. And again, if he isn’t right for her, she’ll still want to be able to attract the guy she meets later so the practice is critical.
She has to learn to recover when she says something the wrong way, trips on the carpet, etc. but also to accept or pay a compliment, do the give-and-take conversation… Dopers, I think we need to pose some hypotheticals. I’ll go first. I took a first-date to lunch once. I bit into an ear of corn and it was so juicy that a kernel shot across the table and landed on her face. What would you do, OP?
If he’s prompt, yay! Late? Boo! Is he reasonably polite to the wait staff but also assertive enough to get your order before closing time? Does he hold the door for you? What’s your take on the bill? Going Dutch?
A first date can be a total blitzkrieg of stimuli and situations yadda that could come up, color interpretations of the moment, etc. and it’s stuff you have to react to all on-the-fly. Just as you can’t fly a jet by watching one gauge, a first date can be a real task and it requires practice.
I think it was Mark Twain who said that few things on Earth could withstand the force of laughter. Try to keep light, upbeat…even a disappointing date won’t be all that bad if you can laugh.
Yeah. I just don’t like single initials, I find them harder to parse. (His name doesn’t start with K anyway. And no, there’s no actual rational reason why I insist on no real names ever. It’s just a silly policy I do. Like my sig says, I don’t even use my cats’ real names. I’m sure it’s obvious enough why I don’t use my real name or location.)
Yeah, I’m generally the outdoors activity coordinator. I went to this camp as a kid, went through their counselor training program, and now volunteer there (well, after a bit of a hiatus due to school and working). I have lots of friends there and I don’t want to stop going. And yes, it’s lying a bit, but that’s my problem and I don’t actually need advice on it, thank you just the same.
I really don’t need any more advice. Kay’s said he was just making a joke. I’ll probably be seeing him in two weeks over spring break. I’ve seen pictures of him. I may or may not date him or anyone else. He seems like a nice geeky guy and I overreacted. Problem over. I can admit to being stupid and paranoid.
Probably laugh. That sort of thing happens. I may have never dated, but I do spend time with people. Including guys. Sometimes only with a guy.
I’d assume we were going dutch, but confirm it first. I know this stuff, I just don’t know how to make my brain go from going out with a friend to ‘hey, it’s a date!’ And yes, I know a shrink or two I could talk to if I wanted to. I don’t need a bunch of strangers to psychoanalyze me. =^.^=
Without copying the post from MSMITH537- that poster has it nailed.
Hope my post didn’t come off that way. I just thought we could put you through a trainer/simulator experience. Thinking on your feet can be a valuable skill when dating.
On reflection, it’s probably less so in this case b/c you’ve corresponded and have more of an idea what to expect.
Hmm…I’m not the OP, but I’ll handle this one.
Laugh and say “Sorry, I think you got something on your face…it’s kinda cute, but I’d really suggest removing it.”
On second thought, that might not be the best way to approach it.