You know how females like to overnaalyze everything (well, most of us). I met this guy awhile ago, and hang with him sometimes. He doesn’t come on to me but I am enamored with him. I was supposed to meet him the other day and could not make it. next time I saw him, I told him why I hadn’t made it. He said I missed you. I don’t know if he meant he missed me by a half hour or if he actually missed me. Once when we parted he called me sweetie. Any males or females out there give me insight or encouragement.
Tell him EXACTLY what you want. Right now. Don’t wait, don’t play coy games, JUST TELL HIM.
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I’m a female and I NEVER overnaalyze!
I’m sorry to inform you that to [THREAD=564163]this thread[/THREAD], you are incorrect in asserting that women in general overanalyze anything or fail to provide unambiguous indications of their interest.
Now that we can get that misapprehension out of the way, the only practical way you can answer this question isn’t by reading tea leaves, consulting your Magic 8-Ball, or trying to dissect his every word and hand motion with a thousand of your best online friends, but rather by sitting down with him and telling him how you feel about him, and then gracefully sucking up the consequences and moving on if he doesn’t have complementary interest. It sounds rough, but it sure as hell beats months of shyly suggesting interest and then trying to cover it up with awkward jokes while everyone in the vicinity sees exactly what you’re doing, and then wondering whether his responses were positive, negative, or clueless. (Likely the latter, especially if he isn’t interested.) This way, you’ll know, and even if he isn’t, he’ll know that you are and that may alter the cognitive pathways in his brain to start thinking more in your direction. So, just approaching him (in a semi-private, non-confrontational manner) is all upside, one way or another. Not doing anything, or spending weeks or months pondering over his intentions during insomniac nights, is of no benefit whatsoever.
Also, if he called you “sweetie”, he either likes you or he is gay. I call my platonic female friends by a number of different nicknames, but never “sweetie”. (On the other hand, if a random woman calls me, “sweetie”, I can pretty much guarantee that she has no romantic interest in me whatsoever, and most likely is trying to bump up her tip.)
Stranger
I’m extraordinarily heterosexual and I call my platonic female friends sweetie occasionally. Therefore I believe we can conclude you have a thing for BigBertha but I don’t. No, I do but you don’t. No - I don’t know. I don`t think we can conclude anything about the word sweetie.
Yeah, we don’t quite have enough information. I’ve known guys that do this because they are too afraid to come on to a woman who might not like them (myself included), and I’ve know guys who do that because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. And, of course, I’ve known guys that were completely clueless.
The OP would have to share a lot more for us to know which situation this guy is in. Have you been flirting with him? Does he act like he knows you’ve been flirting? Does he talk about other women being hot in your presence? Has he referred to you as Buddy, pal, etc? All those are pretty easy determiners.
Unless she’s worried that she’s already crossing the line and becoming a sexual harasser, she should concentrate a bit more on what she wants, and act on it, and let him tell her if that results in things he’s not comfortable with.
I agree the sweetie thing isn’t conclusive. I’m friends with a guy who pretty much calls everyone sweetie. Totally cheesy, but it doesn’t automatically mean he’s romantically interested in you. I love all the people that are all “dude, just go ask him!” Like it’s that freaking easy. So I guess all you guys could casually walk up to a girl you’re interested in and just lay it all out, huh? Pfft, right.
You could always feel him out by “going out on a date” with some other guy. I put that in quotes because there doesn’t need to be an actual date. You’re just telling him all this to gauge his non-verbal (and possibly verbal) reaction. If he seems a bit taken aback or even, dare I say it, upset or dissapointed, you’re golden. Then you can say the date was a crash and burn and you wish he was more like your guy, blah blah. A bit sitcom-y, sure, but it’s worked for me in the past when I haven’t quite been able to get up the nerve to be all “dude, I like you, do you like me?” Or, if you have mutual friends, you can have one of them feel him out.
No, not actually flirting, I don’t like to be the aggressor, whenever in the past I’ve liked someone, I let them know it with things i say and the times the interest was returned, they have done the verbal clues back and we both knew.
I’m a bit rusty on this, however. He has never mentioned any females.
(bold mine)
Well, as long as we’re gonna be stuck in high school, we might as well go about this the high school way… :rolleyes:
Ask him out. Life’s too short.
You don’t have to go up to the guy and say “I love you and want to be with you forever” but perhaps trying something like “Let’s have dinner sometime!”, or even “Want to go grab a coffee together?” might give you a better indication of how he’s feeling.
You aren’t dating him now. Worst case scenario, you get to continue to not date him. What do you have to lose?
We have gone to eat together before, at my suggestion. Note: we have to meet up, as neither of us has a car.
Ignore this. There was never anything about women sending unambiguous signs of interest. There was something about overanalyzing.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, the rest of the post was fine. Analyzing to death and wondering what this or that smile *really *meant get you nowhere. If you think he’s being flirty with you, then it just might be because he likes you. Say something.
You’ll only know if you ask him - but unless he seems to be an extremely shy person with very little gumption, he’s not that into you.
Not enough info here to really advance an opinion on the OP’s situation, but FWIW I call my closest female friends sweet heart or more commonly dear heart all the time. It’s just a way of acknowledging a very close platonic relationship. I assume these women feel the same way about me. I have lots of girl friends.
That’s about how I flirt with women so I vote that he is interested. <clueless guy checking in>
Wow, I actually agree with you!
They all come 'round eventually.