Am I really that bad of a person?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I apologize for the length, but I need to explain myself.

I consider myself to be a descent person. I am 21 years old; I work fifty hours a week, attend college for business(I have straight A’s), and support my fiance while she goes to nursing school. I grew up in church and still attend every weekend. As far as physical shape goes, I am very active in sports, I swim laps at the Y three times a week, and I run a mile before work every morning. I am not lazy, and I don’t like lazy people. I live day to day with the goal of being a good guy. I try to do something nice for someone every day, and I am very outgoing and friendly. However, I am chastised by people that have known me for years because I love smoking pot. I smoke a bowl or two when I get home from work, and on the weekends when I don’t have to work I smoke a few blunts or a few joints, or sometimes both.

I will use the pastor of my church as an example(mind you he is friends of my parents and known me since I started walking). The pastor of my church happened upon me in a mall, and he immediately smelled pot on my breath. Since then he has not talked to me and he in fact preached a sermon on drug abuse a couple of weeks after our meeting(Whether or not I had anything to do with that I can’t say, but I believe I did). Before this incident he thought I was a great kid. He watched me grow up, so to speak, and knew what my goals in life were. So why, even though he knows what kind of a person I am, does he now think I am a loser(my words not his). I lead a healthy, great life, and again I believe I am a good person, but I also love to get high. I LOVE IT! I have smoked for the past four years, stopping when I need to for certain things, and I have every intention of stopping when my future wife and I are ready for children.

Am I a bad person, or has my pastor, much like many other people that have found out I smoke, lumped me, a recreational non-abusive smoker, into a category with the lazy extremely abusive potheads because he just doesn’t understand. He liked me before, when I smoked and he didn’t know, so why does he not now.
If you would like to share your thoughts it would be much appreciated.

2

I don’t think you’ll find many here who’ll say you’re a bad guy on that account.

I rarely partake anymore, myself, because I never found it very enjoyable, but I know some extremely respectable and responsible people who do so regularly. I think of it like alcohol. Some people can handle it, some can’t. Of course, since it’s illegal, that adds another layer of being less-than-ideal. My sixteen-year-old daughter was recently upset when she found out that a family member smokes regularly, and we had an interesting talk about what, precisely, makes it any worse than things like cigarettes or alcohol. The answer: I really don’t know.

3

[QUOTE=FastNwhatNot]
I lead a healthy, great life, and again I believe I am a good person, but I also love to get high. I LOVE IT! I have smoked for the past four years, stopping when I need to for certain things, and I have every intention of stopping when my future wife and I are ready for children.
[/QUOTE]

Why would you quit getting high when you’re ready for children?

4

I just came back here with the sneaking suspicion the thread had been started at 4:20, but no. :slight_smile:

5

[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka]
Why would you quit getting high when you’re ready for children?
[/QUOTE]

Because baby food is delicious and you don’t want to eat all of it?

6

My main mother-finger-waggling caution would be to keep a mind after your financial aid at school, if you get any. My understanding (sketchy) is that if you’re charged with even a misdemeanor possession or influence charge, then you’re ineligible for federal and maybe state and school sponsored financial aid. This, I’m sure you realize, would be A Bad Thing, unless you can foot the bill yourself.

My last concern would be if you have any younger siblings or close cousins or something that might find out about it and decide that it’s a good idea because you do it. Never underestimate the influence you have over people without being aware of it. And while you seem to be able to handle it, they may not. Or they may fuck with their brain chemistry or neural development; we don’t know how marijuana affects growing brains with any certainty. Plus, of course, there is a kernel of truth to the “gateway drug” myth: if they start smoking weed, they’re more likely to hang out with people who do other drugs, and that increases the chances of them moving on to meth or crack or heroin.

So…don’t get caught, basically. By the cops or by people who might look up to you. Like it or not, you’re of the “role model” age.

Other than that, and the obvious legal issues…well, I got nothin’. You seem to be handling it just fine, holding down a job and keeping your grades as high as they get. How does your girlfriend feel about your pot use? If she’s okay with it and it’s not damaging your relationship there, then I really don’t see a problem with it.

Your pastor, on the other hand, has undoubtedly seen dozens or hundreds of young people who couldn’t handle it, and is (rightly, from his perspective) concerned that you might be another one of them, or that you might encourage other members of his congregation to go down that path. So try not to be too hurt by his actions; he really is acting out of love.

7

[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka]
Why would you quit getting high when you’re ready for children?
[/QUOTE]

It impacts male fertility.

And no, the OP isn’t a bad person. At all. Now if he were downing a bottle of whisky every day and beating his wife, well, there’d probably be a sermon about the evils of… divorce.

8

[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka]
Why would you quit getting high when you’re ready for children?
[/QUOTE]

I don’t know really. I had kind of just planned on that being a pretty good stopping point. But, now you’ve got me thinking.

9

Even a heroin addict or a crack addict isn’t a bad person just because they do those drugs. It’s only if they hurt other people because of it that they are bad.

Not that I’d equate pot to heroin or crack in the least. You sound pretty upstanding and if you’re not hurting anyone via pot, then I don’t see how you can be a bad person due to pot. You have to just know for yourself that some people, like your minister, will not support you and will assign characteristics to you that are not true. Nothing you can do about it except continue to be what you are and maybe one day he’ll say, “Hey, that Fast guy, I thought he was a filthy druggie but I hear he works 50 hours a week, got married to that beautiful smart girl and put her through school, comes to church every Sunday, is a regular at the Y, and has that well-behaved little boy … that doesn’t sound like what I thought a pothead was … hmmmm …wheels turning inside his head”

Or maybe not. But that’s his problem, not yours.

10

My roommate smokes pot. I may or may not partake of it on occasion. In fact, most of our friends smoke it from time to time (although roomie smokes it on a regular basis). We are all well-educated people in our early/mid-twenties with respectable jobs and we pay our rent and bills on time.

Obviously there are people who let pot take over their lives, but in my experience it’s quite possible to smoke pot and lead an otherwise responsible and decent life. Anything in excess can be dangerous - the key is moderation.

11

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
My main mother-finger-waggling caution would be to keep a mind after your financial aid at school, if you get any. My understanding (sketchy) is that if you’re charged with even a misdemeanor possession or influence charge, then you’re ineligible for federal and maybe state and school sponsored financial aid. This, I’m sure you realize, would be A Bad Thing, unless you can foot the bill yourself.

My last concern would be if you have any younger siblings or close cousins or something that might find out about it and decide that it’s a good idea because you do it. Never underestimate the influence you have over people without being aware of it. And while you seem to be able to handle it, they may not. Or they may fuck with their brain chemistry or neural development; we don’t know how marijuana affects growing brains with any certainty. Plus, of course, there is a kernel of truth to the “gateway drug” myth: if they start smoking weed, they’re more likely to hang out with people who do other drugs, and that increases the chances of them moving on to meth or crack or heroin.

So…don’t get caught, basically. By the cops or by people who might look up to you. Like it or not, you’re of the “role model” age.

Other than that, and the obvious legal issues…well, I got nothin’. You seem to be handling it just fine, holding down a job and keeping your grades as high as they get. How does your girlfriend feel about your pot use? If she’s okay with it and it’s not damaging your relationship there, then I really don’t see a problem with it.

Your pastor, on the other hand, has undoubtedly seen dozens or hundreds of young people who couldn’t handle it, and is (rightly, from his perspective) concerned that you might be another one of them, or that you might encourage other members of his congregation to go down that path. So try not to be too hurt by his actions; he really is acting out of love.
[/QUOTE]

My girlfriend has no problem with it all, and as far as the “role model” issue goes, I do very well at hiding it from the people that I know are watching me. And, thank you for your outlook on my pastor’s opinion.

12

[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka]
Why would you quit getting high when you’re ready for children?
[/QUOTE]

[Deep dark secret mode] Toddlers are SO much more interesting when you’re high. I can play with blocks for HOURS and still find it entertaining! [/ddsm]

13

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
My main mother-finger-waggling caution would be to keep a mind after your financial aid at school, if you get any. My understanding (sketchy) is that if you’re charged with even a misdemeanor possession or influence charge, then you’re ineligible for federal and maybe state and school sponsored financial aid. This, I’m sure you realize, would be A Bad Thing, unless you can foot the bill yourself.

My last concern would be if you have any younger siblings or close cousins or something that might find out about it and decide that it’s a good idea because you do it. Never underestimate the influence you have over people without being aware of it. And while you seem to be able to handle it, they may not. Or they may fuck with their brain chemistry or neural development; we don’t know how marijuana affects growing brains with any certainty. Plus, of course, there is a kernel of truth to the “gateway drug” myth: if they start smoking weed, they’re more likely to hang out with people who do other drugs, and that increases the chances of them moving on to meth or crack or heroin.

So…don’t get caught, basically. By the cops or by people who might look up to you. Like it or not, you’re of the “role model” age.

Other than that, and the obvious legal issues…well, I got nothin’. You seem to be handling it just fine, holding down a job and keeping your grades as high as they get. How does your girlfriend feel about your pot use? If she’s okay with it and it’s not damaging your relationship there, then I really don’t see a problem with it.

Your pastor, on the other hand, has undoubtedly seen dozens or hundreds of young people who couldn’t handle it, and is (rightly, from his perspective) concerned that you might be another one of them, or that you might encourage other members of his congregation to go down that path. So try not to be too hurt by his actions; he really is acting out of love.
[/QUOTE]

My girlfriend has no problem with it all, and as far as the “role model” issue goes, I do very well at hiding it from the people that I know are watching me, and I am very careful about who I hang out with or even just surround my self with. And thank you for your outlook on my pastor’s opinion.

14

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Your pastor, on the other hand, has undoubtedly seen dozens or hundreds of young people who couldn’t handle it, and is (rightly, from his perspective) concerned that you might be another one of them, or that you might encourage other members of his congregation to go down that path. So try not to be too hurt by his actions; he really is acting out of love.
[/QUOTE]

That’s pretty much what I was thinking. The man recognized the smell of weed, so he’s clearly been exposed to it at some point. He will most likely come around again, eventually.

15

If your pastor is opposed to pot smoking then he has the right to hold and preach these beliefs. You say that he “just doesn’t understand”, but you’re always going to find people (even people you respect) who don’t understand your lifestyle choices. I doubt that you’re going to change his mind on this issue, so it might be worth considering if you’d like to dedicate your time and energy to another church – just because you went there as a kid does not mean it will always be the right place for you. If you decide to stay at this church then I think you have to accept that they have a taboo on pot smoking, and cover your tracks accordingly.

16

You are a felon. It matters to everyone you share living space with, since you are involving them in criminal behavior.

Without any consideration of the rightness or wrongness of your choice, keep in mind that it is illegal, and the penalties can be very harsh.

If you make the choice without considering that as part of the choice, you are being very irresponsible.

Tris

17

[QUOTE=Triskadecamus]
You are a felon. It matters to everyone you share living space with, since you are involving them in criminal behavior.
[/QUOTE]

Recreational pot smoking is a felony? Seriously? :dubious:

As for stopping when you plan to have children, not only is that a good idea for fertility, it’s also best to not expose children to smoke due to damage to their lungs, not to mention the ethical issues involved with secondhand smoke/drug use regarding a minor who cannot consent.

18

[QUOTE=Triskadecamus]
You are a felon. It matters to everyone you share living space with, since you are involving them in criminal behavior.

Without any consideration of the rightness or wrongness of your choice, keep in mind that it is illegal, and the penalties can be very harsh.

If you make the choice without considering that as part of the choice, you are being very irresponsible.

Tris
[/QUOTE]

Smoking pot is a misdemeanor. The penalties for possession of small quantities are about the equivalent of a speeding ticket. It is highly unlikely that anyone is going to recieve any legal penalty for having a roommte who smokes or that the OP is going to caught for smoking at home.

The worst case scenarios would involve college or career ramifications if the OP were ever to get caught ferrying home a bag of weed in the car, but those consequences are the result of stupid laws, not immoral behavior.

There is nothing immoral about smoking pot. It doesn’t endanger anyone nor does it put anyone in great legal jeopardy just fore being in close proximity to a pot smoker. As long as the OP isn’t selling and is only smoking at home, the odds of getting caught are low and the actual legal consequences would be trivial on any account.

19

I stopped when I became a parent but the stuff never had any affect on my fertility. My first kid was conceived while I was totally baked.

20

[QUOTE=Nawth Chucka]
Why would you quit getting high when you’re ready for children?
[/QUOTE]

:smiley: