Well, being on the Straight Dope and all I’m sure I’m not…but it sure feels like it! Go to dance class, somene brings a baby, dance class grinds screechingly to a halt because everyone has to go admire the little bundle of joy. When I go to the SO’s house, we have to play with his niece and it’s expected that as the female I should want to forgo all other fun and play with the baby. Baby shows up at the office, same thing.
Don’t get me wrong. I like kids, to an extent. I even think they’re cute…for about 3.5 seconds. And I have no problem with people who do find kids cute…I just hate being expected to do the same! It’s a kid! It’s just not that interesting to me.
Please reassure me that I’m not the only who feels this way and is sick of this expectation. Even my SO told me the other day, “You know, you are unusual among women…” :dubious: Thanks.
Other than my own baby (who is ridiculously cute, of course), I’m with you. I thought once I had my own that I would start finding other people’s kids more interesting, but no, not really. When I see a baby who looks to be the same age as my own, I may inquire because I’m nosy and want to know things like how many teeth they have and how much they sleep and stuff, but just to play with or admire? Not usually.
Well, you’re almost in the same boat as my wife, a non-Doper.
She was labeled the office grouch at her last corporate position, because she told one of the secretaries that if she (the secretary) brought her baby in one more time, she would be sent home without pay for the rest of the day. “We are not a daycare, and your baby is disrupting the entire office.”
That same office, she told several other workers that if they wanted to stand around discussing babies (a different one, this time – I tell ya, they were dropping sprogs daily at that place!), they could do so on their own time – get back to work!
She likes babies, though… just not at work. (A position I can totally get behind, except for the liking babies part. :))
Well, she’s not a Doper, but my nearly-stepdaughter calls little kids “crotch fruit”. That will probably change when/if she gets married and starts having her own.
No, you’re not alone, and you’re not unusual. My wife is like that, too. She doesn’t want to hold anyone’s baby, doesn’t coo over them, doesn’t wish she had one. I don’t think it’s that uncommon. I guess some people just expect everyone to be thrilled by babies, but it doesn’t work out that way. Don’t feel bad about it!
One of her co-workers just came back from maternity leave (or is about to go. I’m not sure), one has a four year old and one desperatly wants children but doesn’t have any.
So the whole room has a constant buzz of baby talk and my wife is very fed up with it. It’s not just you.
I definitely felt that way - co-workers would bring in their babies and I couldn’t figure out why. Who wants to look at that? Don’t bring it over here, I don’t want it!
I’m kinda “meh” about babies in the abstract, though I enjoy commiserating with mothers. I held an 8-month-old the other day and he was sweet, but after 15 minutes that was enough.
Doper baby pics, though, I enjoyed those immensely!
And my OWN kids, I’m all about them! Even moreso now that they’re older and have personalities. But they’re still my babies. I adore the way they feel and smell and look, their tickly bellies and nibbly little toes, yum!
I’m starting to feel a little less insane, thank you.
The other thing is I’m in my 30’s so I’m surrounded by people who either have kids or who desperately want them. My best friend desperately wants kids! And then people look at me right in the eye and say “You’ll change your mind when you have them” or even “You’ll want them soon enough. You’re getting to that age.”
You know what? Fuck you! I’m 31, and no biological clock is ticking. I have as little interest in kids as I did when I was 17 and I decided I wasn’t going to have kids, and everybody told me, “Oh, you’ll regret that decision” and I never have. And I’ll change my mind when I have them? What kind of decision-making process is that? I should just give myself an 18-year (and more) responsibility in the hopes that I’ll like them eventually?
It’s rude of people to tell you that. Motherhood is a HUGE sacrifice. HUGE. I totally lost my “self” for 3 years, and it’s only slowly coming back. If you’ve got other stuff going on and don’t want it, then I don’t think you will regret not having kids. Not at all.
OTOH, I don’t regret making this sacrifice because of how much I enjoy my specific children, these particular people - once you know your kids, there’s no going back. My biggest fear is losing them. I don’t know how I could continue if that happened ::knocking wood::.
But, if I’d never met them I wouldn’t know what I’d missed, and my life would be full and delightful.
A former co-worker brought her new baby in one day and asked me if I wanted to hold him. I thought to myself, “Why would I want to hold your kid for you? If you need me to hold him, just ask. Don’t act like your doing me a favor.”
I must have just been cranky that day, because I do like kids. Sort of. But I’m definitely not ga-ga for them.
I’m waiting for Bob55 or someone similar to come in here and say how horrible and selfish you are.
Not that I think you are, of course. I like babies fine, but I also get to give them back to their parents when I am tired of them. And really, when you think about it logically, babies are small people who can’t talk, can’t move about much on their own, can’t take care of their own bodily functions yet, and don’t do all that much. Unless you are emotionally attached to a baby, they’re not that interesting.
I also cannot get behind people saying stupid things to you like, “You’ll change your mind when you have your own,” or, “you’ll change your mind when you get older.” What the hell kind of crazy gamble is that to make with not only your life, but the life of another person? And where is it written that every woman yearns to spawn?
I like babies and children, but sometimes I think I’d like to not have some just to spite those people.
I’m the same age as the OP and have no interest whatsoever in babies. No, I don’t want to hold them, no, I don’t think they smell magically delicious or whatever, and no I don’t want my own. I take a minimal, polite interest in my friends’ babies, but only the same interest I take in their husbands/wives I don’t know well.
I like children though, when they’re old enough to have a conversation with. I’ve often said that if it were possible to give birth to a well-adjusted 5 year old, I’d reconsider my stance on childbearing.
When I was younger, I always figured at some point I’d have kids. Even though they weren’t appealing to me when I was, say, 22, I had heard that most women get to the point where they really, really want a kid, and I had no reason to think I’d be different.
Well, I’m 37 now, and that “I need a kid” thing hasn’t happened yet. I do worry that at some point when I’m too old to have one, I’ll suddenly want one, but I’m going to deal with that when and if it happens. For now, I have no googly feelings about babies, or toddlers, or teenagers. In fact, I’m vaguely disturbed by toddlers. They seem so… germy.
Puppies, on the other hand… man I love me some puppies…
I think I like dogs the way so many other people like babies. Before I had a dog I would have maternal-type dreams about dogs and wake up with my doggie-clock ticking. I would a million times rather play with a puppy, or even a grown-up dog, than a baby.
I hope that I would enjoy my own (hypothetical) baby, but I don’t really enjoy other people’s.
I have one child, and that is enough. I positively adore my 3 year old, but I am absolutely uninterested in any others. In fact, I’m a little turned off by them. Unfortunately for me, little kids absolutely love me and flock to me at any given opportunity.
I do try to do as much as I can to help children. I donate blood as often as I can and I’ve donated hair to Locks of Love four times now. I also do other charitible, child-oriented things. But my interest in such activities comes much more from my empathy with mothers and my desire to help children grow to be strong contributors to society than from being stunned by kiddie cuteness.
ETA: I certainly don’t want to hold someone’s strange, drooling child. Eeeew.
Sometimes I think people who have kids tell you you’ll be sorry not to have them simply because misery loves company.
I don’t care about babies either. I’ve held a baby exactly once in my life and it wasn’t voluntary (a friend handed me hers because she had to go stop her toddler from tipping a curio table over on top of himself).
I’m 45 now and no one asks me about having babies anymore, so there’s one good thing about getting older, at least.
A (childless forever) friend of mine calls them ‘fuck trophies.’
I don’t care much about them either way until they’re able to talk and parrot back dirty words. Then they’re hilarious. Assuming they belong to someone else.
I like little people and babies too, but only a few babies have tripped my ga ga meter to the point I have the irresistible urge to cuddle them up.
One is my friends kid, Maya. I babysit her now and then and took her to the zoo at 3 months old. I could not believe how many people stopped me to go ga ga over her, and I totally agreed with these strangers that she is completely adorable. Now she is 14 months and even cuter, I always have to pick her up and steal her away for a moment when her folks are around. Thank god I am not like that with every baby I see.
