For those who aren’t aware, Ambivalid recently created a “relationship breakup thread”. Yes, Yes, hardly original but whatever. Seems he arrived home after popping out for a few hours to find his lady had bailed on him, taking all her stuff without warning. So, why am I creating this thread? Normally I’d simply walk away and tell him to talk to the hand, but something got under my skin about this. There’s a really offensive double standard he’s currently using to manipulate an endless flood of empathy towards him. But it’s so subtle most punters here aren’t aware how he’s doing it. Now, before I go on, quite correctly, I was warned by a Moderator to stop psychoanalysing his posts, his motives, his conclusions etc etc. I was given an official warning, which I accept without question. I was warned my psychoanalysis was unwelcome, that I had nothing to contribute to the thread. Fair enough, dem’s da rules.
But here’s the double standard. The very psychoanalysis which Ambivalid found so distasteful, so odious and repugnant during his period of loss and mourning, is precisely the same psychoanalysis which Ambivalid is now happily using to trash a seemingly lovely young lady, behind her back, who has no right of reply. And to that sir, I say this… you’re a fucken coward. You’re a sack of shit manipulative scumbag trashing a young lady who has no capacity whatsoever to defend her honour. And in my book that’s the definition of being a gutless man. Worse yet, you’re happily manipulating your fellow SDMB readers into enabling you to completely avoid the slightest admission she left you because you’re actually a self absorbed, psychologically abusive head fuck.
But don’t take my word for it, let’s examine your own words. Here are some choice quotes from your opening post.
Yeah well, in my book you’re 14 year old attention whore.
Did you get that one folks, as he WALKED farther into his house? Turns out the dude’s in a wheelchair. And his blind sycophant supporters piled on me because I, the casual reader, was supposed to know this? He said he WALKED into his house for fuck’s sake.
Ambivalid? What a croc of shit. A great relationship you say? Turns out you think your girlfriend is damaged goods. It turns out you’re even more batshit crazy yourself.
You have no idea mate? Not one single teeny weeny little idea? You haven’t got the faintest idea what she was feeling? Totally blindsided you, did it? What an over-the-top dishonest crapfest your OP actually is.
Oh your poor possum, such a mystery it is. Poor innocent you, clearly your only solution was to do something you’re not normally one to do, but you were left with no choice. You simply HAD to share this on the internet for all the world to see , so that you might solve this utterly unfathomable mystery. Yes, yes, we know… you didn’t want to. But you HAD to.
And now, some choice quotes from later in his thread which portray just how fucked up this dude’s logic is…
So Ambivalid, you still reckon you’ve got NO IDEA why a sweet pretty young lady (10 years younger than you without disability) had a gutfull of being your unpaid 24x7 personal carer? Presumably without a job, stranded 2000 miles from home, family, and her life network of friends? No new friends in real life, isolated on a permanent basis with YOU in your home? Without even so much as a car to get out of the house? And you’re in a wheel chair? You must be such a fucking catch mate, not to have ONE SINGLE IDEA why she bailed. OK, let’s run with that…
What the fuck? What planet do you live on? Has it ever occurred to you that your former girlfriend, unlike you, isn’t a fucking conflict junkie?
Well fuck me? It must have been her mental well being? How could we have not seen this? It couldn’t possibly have been your behaviour, could it?
Show some fucking balls mate. Do you have any manliness in you at all? She bailed on you because you’re a fucken nutcase, you’re 10 years older than her, you were screaming at her all the time, and you’re in a wheel chair. PLUS, she was your personal bit of tail, your personal 24 x 7 carer, you had her locked up in a house with no friends, family, or transport. She left because she’s not well? Keep telling yourself that mate, you gutless coward.
Well of course you would, you’re the one in denial. How can you play the victim otherwise?
So now the truth comes out. You’re a moody prick, you’re hard fucking work, and she was stuck in a house with you, without a car, no family or friends, 10 years younger than you, presumably a young lady with plenty of options, wondering to herself “How the fuck did I end up here?”
Bottom line? She dumped you, good and proper, because she made a decision in her best interests. But are you man enough to admit that? Nooooo… far easier to fall back on Plan B. Time to start trashing her mercilessly… THAT will make you feel better, won’t it?
This one’s gold… “But I loved her. We were close, had unbelievable chemistry, seemed to intuitively understand each other.” Followed by this, 24 hours later… “But, in hindsight now, I see that the relationship never really stood a chance in the long run.” And you know why you’re saying that? You’ve manipulated your audience into believing your girlfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder, and now that everyone’s agreeing with you, and offering stories on how unbearable it must have been for you, there’s no other choice. That’s the bullshit line you have to peddle now.
It took YOU a while to come to terms with this? How about for one microscopic nanosecond, how about looking at this bullshit from a perspective other than your own? How about you consider how long it took HER to come to terms with your volatile temper, and all the other shit that came with being in a relationship with you? How about you stop trashing her character mericlessly behind her back, be a fucking man for once, and admit you fucked up?