One party game we used to play was charades, using headlines cut from the sleazoid tabloids at the supermarket. You get a non-playing friend to buy a bunch of 'em and snip out headlines, put them in envelopes and there you are.
The one that I will never forget:
Best Kept Secret of World War II: Hitler was a woman
More bones found at Ill. cemetery
Bones? At a cemetery? Shocking!
Regarding Michael Foot, Labour Party leader in 1980s Britiain, when leading a nuclear disarmament committee:
FOOT HEADS ARMS BODY
I’m uncertain if this, my all-time favorite, was ever actually used. Is there any photographic proof anywhere?
Awesome!
I can’t find the link but a few winters ago here in Seattle we had a headline: Prepare For Another Stiff Blow
^ That headline gave me a :eek: moment there. Baby sandwiches? Is there some sort of psycho cannibal running around? Then logic asserted itself, and I said, “It’s probably the name of a town”.
‘Sandwich’, as a town, was immediately apparent to me. What isn’t immediately apparent is why an Australian news source would carry the story. Maybe they read the story and couldn’t resist including it just to make the headline.
Back about 8-10 years ago Camel cigarettes were sponsored the Smokin Joe’s hydroplane against the perennial powerhouse Budweiser. Joe Camel got the best of the red boat in the local races. The headline the next day…
Joe Smokes Bud
Man, 86, man barks at bear in home (video link)
Not bad, but this is still my favorite.
The article itself isn’t too bad either, opening with:
I don’t get it- is pink creamer supposed to be referring to something?
Creamer in the pink after 1-stroke victory. To cream: to ejaculate. ‘To cream one’s jeans’. In the pink: opening the labia reveals the moist pinkness of the vagina. Stroke: a piston-like action.
From a jewelry store flyer advertising watches:
“Give your Valentine a Gorgeous Gruen”
In a local paper after a star shortstop was injured:
“Reds will play with Peters out”
Once saw in the NY Times “Chinese Grow Healthier from Cradle to Grave”.
Not a headline, but an ad for a local law firm on television, trying to get clients for a class action suit against a pharmaceutical company:
“If you, or anyone you know, has died taking this drug, give us a call!”
Now think about that statement for a minute.
Madonna adoption saga on Fringe
They must be struggling for plots in Season 2.
Not a headline, but a caption. A tiny 1-inch photo of an elephant, with *“Elephant, not actual size.”
*