As a college student, I spend a fair amount of time trying to find spaces in a parking garage next to some low-rent eateries. Also, as a student, I drive a tiny little 4-cylinder beater that buckles and wheezes at difficult tasks such as acceleration. Of late, the parking garage “Compact Only” spaces have been filled with larger cars. The occasional Olds? Not a problem. A Caddy? Well, it barely fits, but what the heck.
It’s been bad before, but today it drove me over the edge. There was some car double-parked across two spaces. Next to it was an Expedition taking up two spaces all by itself – a freaking Expedition! This is a car whose advertisements leave you believing you could just drive up the side of the garage and park on the roof, where mine strains just going up the incline. And next to that? A F-350 pickup truck, possibly the biggest vehicle that doesn’t require six wheels. Taking up three spaces all by itself. Yep, three cars taking up seven compact car spaces and upset angry me having to go all the way to the roof.
Your monstro-vehicles are not FUCKING COMPACT, you heathen inbred degenerate scum! Take your six-ton abominations to the extra-wide slots where they belong, and let us small car owners have the only small pleasure we have in sharing the road with your behemoths that could run us over and not hear the squeak. You are a waste of DNA, and so help me, I will rip the doors off your fortresses with a large hyraulic tool, take the keys for my COMPACT car, gut you from crotch to sternum like a rainbow trout with them, and make a bathmat from your skin.
Maximino, I think you might enjoy the TARD site. Someone from the SDMB posted the link to this site once upon a time, but I don’t remember who. (Whoever you were, thank you.) In particular, I think you might enjoy this picture, though at least they aren’t “Compact Only” spaces.
Wow. I mean, just… Wow. That was a true work of art. It had everything a good rant needs: a genuinely annoying complaint, restrained use of profanity to add emphasis instead of provide content, and an an amusingly inventive and gory threat of bodily harm. I give this rant a 10.
JeffB, thanks for the link! That site completely rocks – it’s much funnier when I’m not climbing stairs afterwards.
Miller, thank you for the welcome – in the BBQ pit I can get this stuff off my chest without having to worry about being thrown forthwith into the penitentiary. (I’d like to claim that I possess some kind of Zen-like OP badass understanding, but mostly I’ve been lurking a while.)
More horror stories relating to parking out there? There are sure to be some good ones.
I don’t have a parking story, but I was at a car wash once when a lady got into a huge fit because they charged extra to wash her Explorer (“my car’s not bigger than anyone else’s” was her argument - sure, compare that to my little four-cylinder, you blind twit). That, however, was merely a display of petty stupidity; what put it over the top was when some cretin sidled up to her and said, “where I come from, the customer is always right.” WRONG, you imbecile. The customer is the customer and you have to treat him/her in a professional manner, but that doesn’t mean the customer is always right. I have that on authority from the Harvard Business Review, by the way, so who the hell are you and why are you kissing her ass?!?!? Maybe you two dimwits are long-lost souldmates, and it would only be appropriate to have a special circle in hell where you each owned a business and had to deal with each other as your only customers.
I have to go out of my to fuck with the vehicle of any moron who parks that way. I do not damage the vehicle, but I have to express my disgust in some way. (nasty notes, lugies, etc…)
I used to deliver parcels between Omaha and Lincoln, NE
for a local courier company.
Throughout downtown Lincoln there are designated loading zones. Just try to get into one with a genuine commercially-
licensed vehicle carrying genuine freight.The damn spaces are filled with passenger vehicles bearing N.U. parking stickers.Most are really old Japanese or really new Korean
econoboxes, giving lie to the idea that only SUV drivers are
stupid, inconsiderate, etc.
These “best young minds” have no idea what “Commercial Vehicles Only” means. One such “future leader” at least knew
what truth in advertising was as her car had stickers all over it proclaiming that she was a spoiled bitch. She certainly acted that way when she found that I’d double-parked and hemmed her in while making a paper delivery to Kinkos.
I certainly hope that these “future leaders” find some alternate universe upon which to inflict their “leadership”
once they receive their Educated Fool Certifications", aka,
diplomas.
Right on, Mighty Maxo! An Expedition is not a compact: It’s a f***ing Death Trap. (And let’s hope all those “Death Trap” buyer/owners soon get their wish fulfilled!) :rolleyes:
(Thanks JeffB [and featherlou] for the great site-link! :D)
You got the state in one, SpaceGhost, but wrong school. This is actually a parking garage in the Village in Houston; and the perps are not fellow Rice students, but rather denizens of that fair city.
I don’t refrain from damaging their vehicles, myself. Keying or bumping my car against the cars of bad parkers is one of the last vestiges of my teenage/early-20s destructiveness, and one I quite enjoy. Having a beat-up old car is extremely liberating.
Since there’s a sign clearly saying “Compact cars only”, is there any chance you could have these assholes towed or at least ticketed? That would be the best revenge of all.
:D)
