Park your big-ass truck elsewhere, halfwit!

Look, you want to drive a mini-van? Fine. Enjoy it, you and the kids. You want to drive an SUV? Great. I personally detest them, but it’s your headache. You want to drive a pick-up truck? Terrif. I almost bought one myself. Have at it - I’m happy with my Neon, you’re happy with yours.

But, please, for the love of everything that is holy, DO NOT PARK IN SMALL PARKING SPACES!!!

Hey, bozo - look to your right. Yeah, the same FUCKING aisle you drove up. Notice anything about those spaces? Notice they’re unusually wide? They’re there especially to accommodate large cars, YOU FUCKING MORON. So why did you pull into the LEFT side of the aisle, with the spaces that are about three quarters that size? Better still, why did you park two spaces over from ANOTHER FUCKWIT who parked his big-ass car in the SMALLER SPACES? Yes, I know the parking lot is a little full, and yes, I realize those THREE LARGER SIZED SPACES that are sitting there EMPTY may not have been empty when you pulled up, but the ONLY spot left for me was - guess where? Right in between you two FUCKHEADS. You were both literally parked with your wheels ON THE WHITE DIVIDING LINE. I had to squeeze out my door, because I know fuck right well if I’d dinged the door on you precious F150 you’d have keyed my car.

FUCK YOU.

Park in an appropriately-sized spot next time.

Esprix

(Oh, and another thing - please be aware that smaller cars like mine CAN’T SEE THROUGH YOU. If you’re going to pull up beside me, at least don’t be surprised if I give you a dirty look because you’re BLOCKING MY VIEW OF THE ROAD, you DUMBASS.)

Sounds like a Buc fan :smiley:

I suppose it would be funny if I knew anything about sports.

Esprix

What, you couldn’t park in the larger spaces?

I’m not saying you’re wrong, but why squeeze into some dinky little spot if you don’t have to?

Because I was trying to be considerate of those who have - wait for it - larger sized vehicles! :smack:

I know, I’m an idiot - what else is new?

Esprix

I once parked my (small) car at the mall to catch the bus to the state fair…after a few hours, I came back to find my car flanked on both sides by big-ass SUVs…I actually could not squeeze through to open any of the doors! I went into the mall, hung out a bit, fortunately an hour later one of the behemoths had moved! I was quite furious! Some people think they own the world and no one else matters. Us little cars have rights, too! :mad:

Tell me. Was it the parking lot at the Edwards/On the Border/Oscars lot? Oh no, maybe it was in Mission Valley near Chevy’s/Old Navy/Koo Koo Roo.

Those two places are the pit of evil where large cars in small spots are concerned.

Bleh.

Sheesh. Did you just get out of bed or did the big ass truck wake you up?

Well it goes like this. According to your location, you are in San Diego, which just happens to be hosting the Superbowl this Sunday, in which the Raiders and the Buccaneers are playing. Most of the fans are already out there, and since I loathe the Bucs, it can only be assumed that one of their fans was capable of the behavior described above.

Oh. I’ll nod and smile next time for you, World.

And scout, it was in the Albertsons parking lot in La Jolla Village Square. (Scary that I know those places you mentioned!)

Esprix

Ugh. I forgot one more that’s pure parking hell:

AMC 12 La Jolla parking lot, especially where the Trader Joe’s is!

You mean all the spots are not the same width? Here in the Midwest I sometimes see spots marked “compact cars only”, but that’s usually because it’s partly obstructed by a support post. They all look the same width though.

Well, by parking on the narrow side of the lane, they’re closer to the doors, so they get where they’re going about five seconds sooner. Makes all the difference in the world.

You mean the guy actually parked IN A PARKING SPACE?

Wow, that’s an improvement over here, where the fuckwits with big pickup trucks park diagonally across TWO spaces, lest anyone get close to their beloved redneck-mobile. (or their tricked-up Honda Civic, as the case may be.)

I love Texas. The parking spaces tend to be bigger as a rule to accommodate us truck and SUV drivers. I still tend to park near the back of the lot, because I can’t park our truck worth shit without two or three tries (what can I say? I’m short). I do remember giving big vehicle drivers dirty looks when I had a Neon, so I don’t blame you for doing the same, but I have trouble seeing over other big vehicles, too (again, that ugly short gene rearing its head).

I know what you mean. While we’re at it, I’d like to throw in a mini-rant toward the people who drive the same large vehicles, but are determined to park them in the “Compact Cars Only” spaces in parking garages. You’d think they would have learned by now that those spaces are CLEARLY marked that way because they are in areas that don’t have a lot of space (ie, corners), but that doesn’t seem to matter.

I wish they WOULD mark those smaller spaces “compact cars only.” Not that it would stop some of these people - I’ve seen 4x4’s parked in those spaces!

:mad:

Esprix

well, if you slash the tires on the other side of the big-ass-behemoth from where you’re parked, it’ll tilt the evilmobile enough that you can open your door…:smiley:

Heh - beat me to it, angelicate

Esprix

My rant is directed to assholes who use a light dusting of snow to completely ‘forget’ how to park. I’ve gotten out of my vehicle to dust off the lines so I know what I’m doing. Its fucking snow, not nerve gas. I don’t mind if a person misses one line or is off by a bit.

But how the fuck did you get diagonal against the direction of the lane, you blind fuck?! You’re easily taking up three spaces, and right at the fucking door to Marshall Field’s. How fucking convenient.

I know you did this on purpose, you crusty-eyed illiegitimate son of a goatherder. When I catch you coming back to your vehicle I’m going to sow your asshole shut and force-feed you Ex-Lax. I’m going to tape your eyelids open and sprinkle yellow snow in them for eight hours. And then I’m going to lay your ass in the first spot at Ikea and then cackle gleefully when everbody parks over your mangled body. You fuck.
And if you finally make it home, I’m going to be parked diagonal in your fucking living room, while I make a quick run-in to murder the rest of your miserable gene pool. I hate opportunistic fucks like you.

I think I need to move where it doesn’t snow.