An Ode to the Pit, or Pit-hemian Rhapsody

The BBQ Pit
1

Just some impressions of the Pit, that most benighted of fora, which has given me ranting room, without which, I would surely have climbed a tower with a rifle. Next time someone says “Why get rid of the pit?”, you c’n point 'em here!

[sub]Will this get a “Hello” from Cecil? I’ve dropped his name all over the song! Is name-dropping enough?[/sub]
**
Pit-hemian Rhaposody**

Is this a Pit thread
On the S-D-M-B?
No one’s being flamed
There’s no rant for Dopers to see!
Open the thread
There’s no bloodshed, or pain
It’s just a pit thread, could be great or mundane
Threads are easy come, easy go
View count high, view count low
Whatever is the view count, it doesn’t really matter to me
To me.

Cecil, just flamed a man
Made a crack about his mom
Now he weeps and sucks his thumb.
Cecil, he was quite the putz
And now I’ve gone and flamed his sorry ass
Cecil, OooOOOooh
Didn’t mean to make him cry
If I am flamed myself this time tomorrow
I’ll carry on, carry on, it doesn’t really matter

Cecil, just wanna rant
City council’s filled with jerks
New TV set doesn’t work.
Listen friends - I gotta bitch
I’m ranting all the time, must take the heat
Cecil, OooOOOooh
Sometimes, with rage I cry
“I sometimes wish that other folks weren’t jerks!”

I percieve an insult from another Doper
To the Pit! I’ll flame you! And the Dopers will cry “Viva!
Anger, rants and flaming - very, entertaining to me!”
TubaDiva, TubaDiva
TubaDiva, TubaDiva
TubaDiva, just like Shiva, uses Ouija…Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

He’s just a sock puppet, calling folks “Nazis”
He’s just a Pit-Troll, we won’t defend him stauchly
Please ban his sock-puppet ass just for me!
He’s a troll, make him go- Ban his ass!
Bodoni! No, you must make him go: Ban his ass
Bodoni! Will you make him go? Ban his ass
Bodoni! Will you make him go? Ban his ass - ban his ass
Will you make him go? Ban his ass - ban his ass
Will you make him go? Ban his ass:
Ban his ass - Ban his ass
Ban, ban, ban, ban, ban ban ban ban ban!
Oh mama mia, TubaDiva, mama mia, ban his ass!
Uncle Beer has a flame-thread that will burn his ears, for me!
For me!

So you wanna do pit threads and post on the fly
So you think you can rant, bitch or flame, and not cry
Oh, newbie - you can do this for me, y’see
Just gotta post it - just gotta get it down in a thread

A pit thread’s often jabber
Anyone can see
A pit thread’s often jabber
A pit thread’s often jabber to me…(anyway the posts, anyway the posts).
Anyway this post’s done…

Fenris

(Note: TubaDiva: anyone ever tell you how much FUN your name is to rhyme with? Who else could I have rhymed with Ouija, Mama mia and Shiva? :D)

2

That first line should read:
Next time someone says “Why don’t you get rid of the pit?”, you c’n point 'em here!

Fenris

3

I can remember when people made fun of Queen. Now they’re mainstream.

Question: who will be the 2001 pop music figure(s) of fun who will be warm fuzzy mainstream in 2021?

4

I’m lost for words. Fenris, goddamit, that cracked me the fuck UP. Jesus. What’s you favourite beer mate, I’ll order you a case! :smiley:

5

That was awesome!

Oh, wait…this is the Pit…

That was FUCKING awesome!

You’ve got a great talent there, you SOB :smiley:

6

Great post.

This is my favorite part:

7

God damnit, Fenris.

You know, I try not to like your songs because I am jealous of your talent sometimes. Seriously.

But your song here is good. Very good. So good I just have say:

Bravo.

8

Damn. That was awesome. I await “Another Troll Bites the Dust” with bated breath.

9

I am in awe of your song-twisting talent.

applauds loudly, yelling “Fenris!”

10

Geez, now I’m all misty-eyed. That was bee-yooo-tiful. Anyone up for a chorus of “I’m in Love with my Mods”?

11

We are not worthy!
We are not worthy!

You owe me for a new monitor. I just ruined this one when I spewed coke all over it! :smiley:

12

Ffffabulous!

I enjoyed it a lot!

13

Oh god Fenris, that was great. I can’t thank you enough for that midnight laugh, I really needed it. Awesome buddy, fucking awesome.

14

::spooje is holding up his lit cigarette lighter::

15

This Quick-&-Dirty Parody courtesy of Derleth:

He’s a troll and he ain’t discreet
His post count’s way down low
He thinks he’s a hacker, thinks he’s 'leet
With scripts ready to go

He ain’t ready hey he ain’t ready for this
We’ll knock him right out of his seat
Out of the doorway his ass’ll fly
Another troll been beat, yeah!

(Chorus):
Another troll bites the dust
Another troll bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another troll bites the dust
Hey Admin’s gonna get you too
Another troll bites the dust

Without them we could get along
We’ll be happy when they’re gone
They flame us with everything they have
But we kick them out on their own

They ain’t happy, they ain’t satisfied
They never can stand the heat
Out of the doorway a troll ass flies
Another troll been beat, yeah!

Hey
Oh take it - Bite the dust bite the dust
Hey Another troll bites the dust
Another troll bites the dust ow
Another troll bites the dust he he
Another troll bites the dust haaaa
Ooh shoot out

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he’s down
But I’m ready yes I’m ready for you
I’m standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat

There are plenty of ways that they can flame a man
And try to bring him down
But we beat 'em
And we delete ‘em
When they treat us bad and try to
Bring us down
Yes we’re ready yes we’re ready for them
We’re kickin’ 'em with two feet!
Out of the doorway a troll ass flies
Yet another troll’s been beat!

Another troll bites the dust
Another troll bites the dust
And another troll gone and another troll gone
Another troll bites the dust yeah
Hey Admin’s gonna get you too
Another troll bites the dust
Shoot out

I hope somebody can come up with a better parody soon.

16

Disregard this stanza. It was not deleted. I write parodies by downloading the lyrics, and then writing my parody lyrics below them. Sorry.:

The stanza to ignore:

Preview is not my friend, it is my GOD! I strayed once too often, now a parody is ruined. Damn vengeful god. :smiley:

17

DDG: I dunno. I can’t think of anyone at the moment

Coldie: Thanks: you can buy me a Root Beer or two if there’s ever an international Dopefest! :slight_smile:

Jeannie: Thank You! I fucking appreciate the compliments, gawddamnit! :wink:

mblackwell: I rarely crack myself up, but for me, I was proudest of:
Cecil, just wanna rant
City council’s filled with jerks
New TV set doesn’t work.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Una: I admire the heck out of your posts too, so the your “bravo” means a lot to me! Thanks very much! :slight_smile:

Jester: Thanks, and it looks like Derleth’s done the “Bites the Dust” thing. (And it looks great!)

GilaB, Dijion: Thanks!

Revedge Sorry, read the implied disclaimer: The party of the first part [sub]that’s Me![/sub] is not liable for any damage to monitors, keyboards or mucuous membranes which are damaged by spewing beverages. :wink:

red_dragon & Lady Foxfyre: Thanks I app…
:: notices spooge’s cigarette lighter. Thinks for a moment. Smashes guitar on stage! ::

Derleth: Brilliant, buddy! I loved the opening verse:

Discreet='leet … Wonderful!

Fenris

18

::throws rose petals at Dereth and Fenris::

::applauds wildly::

19

Speaking as a man who owns (LITERALLY) every US and UK Queen LP, 45 (with picture sleeves), picture and interview disc, promotional kits, tourbooks, solo LPs and singles, CDs with rarities and remixes as well as other goodies…

I salute you! Get yourself a FLASH! T-Shirt to celebrate!

20

Fenris - you are my GOD. Seriously.

Should I bow to your feet, or somewhere higher up? :wink: