An open letter to a thief

To whoever ‘borrowed’ my good luck bamboo plant, please give it the same love and care that I have given it every day for the past six months. If you are unable to do this, please return it to its original spot.
thank you.

Damn. I’m sprung.

How did you know it was me who nicked your plant?

:eek:

Are bamboo plants valuable? Why would someone steal a plant?

Hope u get it back, or at the least that it enjoys it’s new locale

I didn’t know, hence the “open” letter.

Isn’t it obvious? You have a panda infestation. They’re all over the place this time of year.

No, it was ME. I also kidnapped the Lindberg baby.

BTW…742 Evergreen Terr. sounds very familiar. Who used to live there? Wasn’t it the Stevens?

I beleive it’s the home of Homer and Marge Simpson.

The plant doesn’t sound very lucky to me. Have you tried putting up “Have You Seen Me” posters in your neighborhood?

What you need is an Audrey II. These things grow to enormous size and are able to fend for themselves. They only eat approximately 1 human per day so upkeep is not too unmanageable.

BTW, I think 742 Evergreen Terrace is where the Bunkers used to live.

isn’t bamboo the sign of longleivity? be careful

I actually posted the same letter that I posted here - just puttin’ it out there.
BTW, there is no Evergreen Terrace in Queens.

Dear Office Thief,

Thank-you for stealing the Dr. Grossout squishy gurgly bloody brain toy from my desk. I’m sure that it was just begging to be taken, being mine, and sitting there among all that other stuff that wasn’t yours either. I’m so sorry.

I know, it must hard for you, what with other people having all that stuff that’s not yours. I’ll try to be more considerate in the future by having less desireable stuff so that you don’t feel so mistreated and unfortunate. Please accept my apologies, and to make it up to you, you can take whatever else you like from my cubicle.

Sincerely,

Your humble toy bitch.

PS: Don’t mind my computer webcam. It’s not on.

PPS: Really. It’s not.