That’s right. James, who held me at knife point twice last February at the convenience where I worked, had to write me a letter. I hope he gets the help he needs.
The soft side of me feels sorry for the guy. He has a lot of drug problems, and he suffers from depression. I guess all of me feels like that. I’m not really mad about it anymore, except that I loved my job but I can’t bring myself to ask about getting hired again. Oh well. I least I didn’t get stabbed.
That is too weird Silver. I was robbed at gunpoint nearly 6 years ago, and it bothers me to this day. Maybe if I was able to see that the jerk-offs who robbed me was sorry, I would feel a little better. Maybe he really is sorry, and realizing what he did to you, your mother and your boss will make him see you as real people with real feelings. Hopefully, that will keep him from doing it again to someone else.
I hope you are able to put it behind you, and not let it haunt you for the rest of your life. If you need to talk about it, believe me, I know how you feel and would happily help in any way I could.
FWIW, I’m a member of a 12-step organization. Basically, a Ninth Step (as this is called) is intended to make peace with yourself; what the recipient does is entirely up to them. I also know that I’ve written similar letters without really meaning to make any kind of formal amends.
It does sound kinda like he’s doing this because he has to; to tell the nice drug counselor what the nice drug counselor wants to hear so that rehab won’t take forever. I hope for James’s sake that he means it now, or else, that he will “get it” at some point. Having a head full of the Steps and a body full of chemicals sucks.
You always have the option of contacting the facility and requesting that you not be contacted by this inmate, directly or indirectly, again. From then on, any mail that is addressed to you will not be sent.
I am so impressed that you have been able to move beyond your anger at this guy. That must have been very hard. My advice (not that you asked ) is that you accept the letter as sincere and use that idea to continue your growth. Staying bitter (which you clearly have not) would have only hurt you–not him.
I’m not mad, BOB. I’m pretty much over the whole thing, except I’m afraid of walking alone in the dark. Anywhere, including inside my own house. I’m working on that.
Blue, thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.
Stoidela, I don’t know how sincere the letter is. I’m hoping, for his sake, that it is. I really don’t think that he’ll ever do anything like this again. I’m sure that he never expected to get caught and I know he was really nervous when he came in. These were his first and second offenses. I only hope that he doesn’t add anymore.
** handy** FYI even people from the right side of the tracks fuck up too. In fact, the thief probably stole from you just to prove to his parents that he didn’t need their money; he can get for himself.
If it was a prison check you can be sure it was even harder to come by the money. The pay is like $18 a MONTH.
** silver fire ** true the guy may be going through the 12 steps; he probably was forced to go. But, just maybe, it’s possible that after sobering up and being forced to see how his actions impacted on the lives of all around him, he is truly sorry, remorseful and horrified by what he’s done.
I’ve been in situations where I was wronged horribly, and was justifiably angry. I carried the anger around nurturing it and feeding it until it felt like a ten pound stone in my gut. I felt awful for a long time until I finally decided to forgive the persons who had wronged me. Not because they were NOT wrong, but because I couldn’t NOT forgive them. I chose to let it go. They remain wrong, but their acts are something they have to work out for themselves. A 12 step program is a good place to start. Work the steps and let the steps work.
That’s much better than having some creep unrepentant and still out there robbing people.
It sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job of getting on with your life if you’re no longer angry at this creep for what he did to you. I hope he really does regret his actions, and I hope you’re doing well after this terrible experience.