An open letter to my computer

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear Computer;

I’m the first to consider that each computer has their individual quirks, just like people. Perhaps it helps to relieve the tedium of doing thousands of calculations each second. You are particular about never loading the very bottom three lines of an image or page on the first try. I can deal with that.

But today, you decided that it just won’t load anything at all properly. I come to check on the boards, I get a page about a turtle company. I try to look at Fark, I get some page in Norwegian. I check my hotmail, I get multiple 404 messages, then the page loads in Times New Roman 16 font. I open a message in my Inbox, the Hotmail logo is replaced by a full-screen picture of a dribbling penis. Where are you getting these things? I sure didn’t have that picture in my cache! Are you trying to tell me you’re REALLY lonely?

Computer, I love you and you let me do my homework and study and listen to music. I can handle your little games, making me reload to get the bottom line of the page or picture, but when you try to distract me from reading my email with porno pics, I draw the line. Either learn some manners, or I will be forced to discipline you. Remember that little six-letter word starting with “f”? I hope, however, we can work this out like civilized carbon and/or silicon-based entities.

Sincerely,
Arwen

2

Format???

Sorry I know almost, but not quite next to nothing about computers.

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And if that doesn’t do it, use the five-letter word starting with ‘f’.
[sub]fdisk[/sub]

4

That dribbling dick pic (go 'head, you know you wanna say it) sounds like the bizarre default image Lowtax uses on the Something Awful front page when he updates it. Flipped me out the first time I saw it. “What the hell happened here?”

It’s possible you may have run across some weird activeX control on some less than scrupulous website. It is possible (and not all that difficult, I’m told) to alter the address your web browser points at when you enter a certain text string into the address bar.

(I seem to recall being redirected to some website I’d never seen before once m’self, when trying to log on to the SDMB. Wish I’d read what it was now, instead of just pummeling the refresh button.)