Done it a few times - it was my wife’s idea the first time. I enjoyed it, but she didn’t appear to be getting off on it as much as the other things we do, so it’s not something we do often.
On the other hand, I have to speak up and defend analingus. If the person you’re doing has just gotten out of a shower and is nice and clean, it’s as clean as any other area of the body. It gets her off something fierce when I work her clitoris with my thumb while rimming her. If you’re really worried, use a sheet of Saran Wrap with some water-based lube on the assward side (forget the advice to use a dental dam, they’re tiny and slippery and hard to find.)
As for “you first”? I’ve had a small vibe up there stimulating my prostate and it feels amazing, especially while getting head. I’m comfortable enough in my heterosexuality to feel that anything a man and a woman do sexually is straight sex.
Anal is an extremely intimate and potentially painful act that requires a lot of trust on the receiver’s part and a ton of care on the giver’s, especially when you’re inexperienced. I believe it’s only fair that someone who insists on giving it be willing to experience both sides. A lot of hetero guys can’t seem to get past the gay stigma, but they might be pleasantly surprised. And it might just make them a better and more sensitive partner too.
Um, no. I don’t consider that the same thing at all. I would however expect that he be willing to reciprocate orally on me. This has never been a problem.
3… Being the giver is fascinating, though it’s not something I want to do all the time. My current partner really enjoys it, and that definitely makes me more willing to do it too even though it’s not as enjoyable for me.
Perhaps it was a poorly worded question but I believe you are missing the point of the comparison. Him performing oral sex on her vagina is not the same as her performing oral sex on his penis. I’ll freely admit that my Christian school biology was pretty poor but I do think I managed to pick up this tid-bit somewhere. The point being, if she requires him to “receive” anal in order to perform anal on her does she also require he “know what it feels like” to suck a penis before she will suck on his?
As for “role reversal”, I was thinking in terms of the traditional roles men/women take during sexual activities. Really don’t see what the confusion is in that concept but everyone is certainly free to misunderstand my meaning to their hearts content.
Agree entirely with your explanation and thanks for taking the time to explain your perspective. For me I don’t think there is a gay stigma on my part but more a discomfort with the idea of being… what is the right word? Submissive? Giving up that control?
Sorry, perhaps that question was a bit loaded but I appreciate you responding anyway. As for oral reciprocation - total agree. Haha.
Thanks, this is the heart of what I was trying to get at along with your response to the first question.
Well, that’s kinda the thing with women, too. At least from my own perspective, vaginal virginity is a natural thing to give up, and once that’s out of the way, going forward for the rest of a lifetime with vaginal sex doesn’t feel like giving up control and submissive. The anal thing is another story, because it does take a lot more “conditioning” at first, and it really does feel submissive, and trust in the partner is that much more important.
I really feel that a partner shouldn’t ask to do something that he isn’t willing to do himself. If you want me to trust you that much, you damn well better be willing to trust me that much.
I’ve only tried it once, didn’t like it, he didn’t really either. He just said it felt “round” and wasn’t so amazing. I had enough alcohol in me to not mind, but had the trots for the next day and that turned me off more than anything.
Would I do it again? Perhaps with the right partner. Would I say “you first?” Yes. Part of that is my own interest in strapping on and having a go at being the, uh, thruster, … I also think it would be hot as hell to take my partner to a sex shop to look for strap ons that are the most like him. Him letting me experiment would be a huge show of trust, and that would be plenty of turn-on for me to reciprocate.
The more I think about it, I think the guy who would go strap-on shopping with me would be the first one I might consider marrying!
Bi male, here. I enjoy topping, although it’s not so fantastic that it would be a relationship deal breaker if my partner weren’t into it. Bottoming is more hit or miss for me. I’m pretty rarely in the mood for it, and even when I am, the results tend to disappoint. About 2/3rds of the time, I just end up feeling uncomfortable and messy. It’s the other 1/3 that makes me keep trying it, because those are the most mindblowing orgasms I’ve ever had. I’m talking “cum so hard you’re knocking holes in the walls.”
I’d love to be topped by a woman sometime. The few times I’ve been with a guy who wanted to top, size and shape issues have prevented a happy conclusion. I like the idea of being able to pick out the cock that’s going to be used.
Personally, I really, really like playing with a guy’s ass but having mine played with does nothing for me. I figure that if I’m willing to do something I get nothing out of because he enjoys it, then the least he could do is be willing to try something I enjoy to see if he gets something out of it.
Plus, anal sex is a lot different to vaginal sex, and I’d rather a guy have some first hand experience of how careful you need to be sticking stuff up there than have him ramming into me and making what is usually a dull experience into a hugely painful one.
If I got into a situation where neither of us enjoyed receiving but both liked giving… eh, I’d suggest we give up on anal all together, rather than persist in doing sexual acts that only 50% of us ever enjoy.
Fiancee isn’t into it at all, and obviously that’s not a deal-breaker.
Had one long-term girlfriend who adored it, though only when she was in a particular mood. We had a part-time D/s thing going, and it fit in quite nicely.
So I assume that you don’t masturbate, give/receive oral or touch a woman’s breasts at all?
Since all of these may be using an organ for a sexual purpose that was not “intended” by nature.
Male, 40. Not as of yet, but we are— poised at the rim, shall we say?
A near miss with an old girlfriend, who’d had one prior attempt-gone-wrong (“I cried for two days,” she said) but with whom I discovered, one boozy and reckless night, that manual stimulation there gave her almost instant, paroxysmal, bed-rocking orgasms. This warmed her considerably to revisiting the idea, but our relationship ended before I could take the plunge.
More or less at the same point with my wife, but it’s been a glacially deliberate process. (I am grateful to the pornographic film industry for perpetuating the fiction that all women love it up the ass, which has provided essential subliminal motivation, lo these thirteen years.)
We (my wife and I) have done it once. However, licking and fingering are much more frequent occurrences. To be honest I was surprised that she went along with it at all because she is very conservative. But I guess when you are in the heat of the moment if it feels good you just go with it.
I actually wouldn’t be opposed to reciprocation but she just isn’t interested in it at all, and it isn’t something worth lobbying for.
I have never had any interest in doing it, and it really bugs me that so much of pornography, especially Euro porn, involves anal sex. It’s so frustrating seeing some absolutely gorgeous Czech or Hungarian model and knowing that, surely as night follows day, her scene will involve her being reamed up the butt.
What is it with Euros and anal sex? It’s like they think the vagina is obsolete or something.
It’s just about my favorite thing on earth, and certainly my favorite thing sexually.
That said, when my wife and I were getting together, she let me know that she’d tried it once, wasn’t a fan and didn’t anticipate trying it again.
Despite the fact that I absolutely love it, I was willing to respect that and do without because, well, I love her and giving up my favorite type of sex to be with the woman I love and who was highly enthusiastic about and talented in every other kind of sex wasn’t a big enough deal to walk away from.
Fast forward a couple of years. She agreed to try it. She’s still not a big fan, but she’s not averse enough to turn it down as long as we take extensive warm-up. I appreciate her indulging me and, as a result, don’t request it all that often. It seems to work for us.
The point being, if she requires him to “receive” anal in order to perform anal on her does she also require he “know what it feels like” to suck a penis before she will suck on his?