[QUOTE=pravnik]
Slower and more somber than a low-rider hearse. 
Tastier than…
[/QUOTE]
A BB King solo.
Grosser than…
…A Kathy Bates Playboy spread.
Smart as a …
whip with an Oberlin degree.
Dumber than a…
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]
whip with an Oberlin degree.
Dumber than a…
[/QUOTE]
Mute with a lobotomy.
Queazier than a…
… a bubblehead on the surface during a Force Five hurricane.
More alienated than…
…a Martian stepchild.
Faster than…
an Iraqi soldier fleeing a firefight.
More aggressive than…
…a hungry crocodile during a wildebeest crossing.
Madder than…
This EDIT brought to you by the letter ‘O’.
[QUOTE=Wargamer]
…a hungry crocodile during a wildebeest crossing.
Madder than…
[/QUOTE]
a Hatter.
Hungrier than…
[QUOTE=tdn]
a Hatter.
Hungrier than…
[/QUOTE]
a Humongous Hippo.
Swifter than …
a poor man with his ex-wife and her lawyer after him.
Smarter than…
Oops. Should have previewed:
[QUOTE=Silver Tyger Girl]
a poor man with his ex-wife and her lawyer after him.
Smarter than…
[/QUOTE]
A Chinese Mensa club.
Redder than…
…the neck of a Klansman’s daughter.
Milder than…
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
Oops. Should have previewed:
A Chinese Mensa club.
Redder than…
[/QUOTE]
An embarassed Erik the Red in a blender on Mars.
More fun than…
ETA: D’oh!
Milder than a catatonic koala on Prozac.
More fun than…
[QUOTE=What Exit?]
Swifter than …
[/QUOTE]
John Kerry’s boat.
More partisan than …
[QUOTE=twickster]
John Kerry’s boat.
More partisan than …
[/QUOTE]
…Rush Limburger*
Meaner than …
a Doper deprived of her “Charter Member” designation.
More ridiculous than…
[QUOTE=What Exit?]
a Humongous Hippo.
Swifter than …
[/QUOTE]
The roadrunner chased by Wile E. Cyote.
Sillier than…
[QUOTE=IvoryTowerDenizen]
The roadrunner chased by Wile E. Cyote.
Sillier than…
[/QUOTE]
Silly String.
Once again,
More fun than…
[QUOTE=tdn]
Once again,
More fun than…
[/QUOTE]
… two barrels of monkeys.
Pinker than…