a roll of bubble wrap, a pair of clogs and a hardwood floor.
(oops- didn’t switch over to page 2.)
As unobservant as…
Appointing Nancy Grace to the Supreme Court.
More paranoid than…
Helen Keller while balancing her checkbook.
And I’ll stick with “more paranoid than” to rejoin the threads.
… Batman! if he’s prepared…
More trusting than…
…a baby goat
Stickier than …
A very pointy stick, sticking out of a jar of glue.
Louder than…
Cajun Man’s disclaimer about real-life meetings of members.
More esoteric than…
Chinese Kabbalism.
Gayer than…
A tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. (From Terry Pratchett’s GOOD OMENS.)
Holier than…
A nun taking a bubble bath in holy water. On Sunday. While eating a sundae.
Colder than…
…a hangman’s heart.
Darker than…
…the hopes and spirits of the poor retail drones working at Filene’s Basement when they open for the Bridal Gown Sale.
More nauseating than…
a Pauly Shore film marathon.
This thread reminds me of Phoebe’s criticism of her overly-cheerful boyfriend (Alec Baldwin) on Friends: “You’re jollier than Santa Claus… on Prozac… in Vegas… getting laid!” 
More satisfying than…
…a triple fudge sundae with whipped cream.
Steamier than…
a sauna date with Katherine Heigl, Keira Knightley and Nikki Cox.
More playful than…
…a puppy in a shoe store.
More brazen than…
…a brass monkey’s ear.
Crooked as…
…Nixon’s dick.
As classy as…
…Queen Latifah singing “I Know Where I’ve Been” (in the movie Hairspray)
As unbelieveable as…
McCain’s declarations of independence from the President.
As spicy as…