…a haberno pepper bikini model.
Shinier than…
EDIT: To spice things up a bit.
…Mal and Jayne when a job goes right 
More glorious than…
…a miser’s pants.
Furrier than…
More glorius and furry than a tiger cub in a Siamese palace.
More boring than…
…than an opera with a happy ending.
As entertaining as…
…The God Father parts I and II but not III
As fearful as …
a mouse at a cat convention.
More bloated than…
… Jared, before Subway
As flimsy as…
prewar intelligence.
More sympathetic than…
more sympathetic than a conman, talking to a rich widow…
Higher than…
…Tommy Chong
Less appealing than…
…Tommy Chong.
Tastier than…
A Philly cheesesteak.
Less appealing than …
…a granite banana
As drunk as…
…a visitor to New Orleans on his 4th Mardi Gra parade in 2 days.
As verbose as …
as a conversation between William Faulkner and Jean Anouilh.
As difficult as . . .
…Chinese calculus.
As randy as…
Bill clinton, now that the pressure is off…
More indefinite than…
…the life expectancy of temporary government structures, be they legislative, bureaucratic, or physical.
More fleeting than…
… my thought process when – oh look, shiny!
Shinier than …