And I didn't even have a heart attack!!

I’m not grey haired. But I suddenly feel so old.

It was an abnormally good day. Really, my wife and I watched football all day, always a good thing. The boys were visiting their Aunt. The teenager volunteered to clean the garage (this will figure prominently later, more in a moment). The only thing missing was Ed McMahon showing up with a check. Life was good.

A couple of days ago the owner of the building informed me that one of the neighbors is moving. I’ll eventually be taking their garage, so now I have additional storage space. The plan is to put my pool table in my existing garage and use the other for the cars. So the first order of business is to start cleaning it out.

Around 4 I check it out. He’s done a good job; he’s arranged chairs into a comfortable sitting area. He’s hooked up the old stereo. It’ll make a great little playroom when the cars are out of the way. I pay him and his crew (girlfriend and best friend) a couple of bucks, and go back upstairs.

It’s now halftime during the Seattle/Minnesota game. Phone rings, my SIL, the boys are ready to be picked up. No problem, it’s only 10 blocks, I shouldn’t miss much of the game. I go down to the garage, which is still unlocked. To this moment I don’t know what made me bang on it before opening it. As I open the door, I hear unmistakable scurrying. My first glimpse is my teenage who’s hiding behind my wife’s car. I can see the top of his girlfriend’s head on the passenger side. She obviously adjusting her clothes, or pulling them on.

I can hear my heartbeat. “I’m uhm, about to pick your brothers up.” I say. I walk unbelievably casually to my car get in back out. Look up to confirm that my son is indeed going to close the door. I go pick up the boys all the while thinking over this totally unexpected development. Incidentally I wasn’t too worried about them leaving before I got back, neither owns a car, and the bus service on Sundays is just short of non-existent.

When I got home they were standing at the stairs, obviously scared. I sent the boys upstairs and brought them back to the garage. I said to my son; ‘you know we’ve talked about this and you know my feelings’. “I hope the both of you were at least responsible enough to use protection.” I got embarrassed nods in response. (at least they didn’t try to lie to me, I was thinking) I then talked about the importance of finishing school, and the difficulties an unexpected baby would bring. They both said they were careful. (HA – is that why I caught you, I was thinking). I then said to my son “If you’re going to be a man now, then act like one an escort the young lady home.”

They’re both months shy of their 18th birthday hers next month. I’m trying to decide if I should contact her parents or not.

I think I’d say… probably not.

Incidentally, from the information in the OP, it’s not necessarily clear that they were actually having sex.

I don’t think much good could come of getting in touch with her parents. You’ve obviously already done about as much as you can to ensure that your son acts responsibly, and if she doesn’t have an open enough relationship with her own parents for them to already know that she’s potentially sexually active, I don’t think hearing it from you would be a good thing. It’s hard, but at some point you gotta trust your kids to do the right thing, and to deal with the consequences when they don’t. That’s just IMO, of course.

Plus, in my (admittedly relatively limited) experience, parents of girls frequently have somewhat different views of their kids’ impending sexual activity than parents of boys.

I think you handled it very well. Don’t contact the girl’s parents, though. You already gave her and your son a little talk. Her parents may not handle it so well as you did.

Very well done and also I wouldn’t contact her parents - you did a perfect good job.

Wow, we really have some wonderful parents on this board…
Stuffy, you rock. I think it’s sweet how suave you were with him and his girl.

It’s like you were saying Son, please. You’re not doing anything NEW. Just don’t be an idiot. And watch out for tools that may be lying around in the garage.

Thank GOD my parents never caught me. I don’t know what I would have done.

No, her parents may not handle it as well, but that should be their decision to make. As the father of a girl (only 8, admittedly, but soon enough to be 18), I’d want to know.

You see, if they aren’t careful or if the protection fails, it’s her parents who bear the brunt of an unwanted teen pregnancy, not you. I’m not saying that you and your son would be irresponsible, but that it’s the nature of the beast that the mother and her family have the onus of whatever decision they make.

Thank god that China bambina is only 2 and I won’t have to worry about this for a few years :slight_smile: I would not tell her parents, she’s 18 or near enough that it’s just quibbling. She’s an adult and respect her as such (which it sure sounds like you’re doing).

You rock man, and I hope I have the same parental suave in about 15 years.

Wow, thanks guys. I was sure I blew it somehow, though my wife said much the same as you did. Anyway an update…

I spoke with the young lady over the phone just minutes after I made this post (My son was at practice). She assured my that she was on the pill, and apologized for putting me in that situation. I was impressed that she was mature enough to broach the subject, so I’m not going to talk to her parents. Incidentally I’ve been conducting periodic hat checks on my son, since he returned to live with me.

Thanks again for the kind words.