We’ve only known each other for a few months. We’ve only seen each other 5 times.
It’s been three hours since I told him.
His initial reaction was good, but he’s going to take sometime to think about whether he wants to continue seeing me.
I know it’s too soon to expect a decision.
Yet here I sit waiting for the phone to ring, wishing that he would say the words I want to here, trying not to get my hopes up too much.
It was so hard to say. I’ve wanted to tell him so many times but I couldn’t get the words out. It makes me cringe to know that his perception of me has changed.
I should have told him sooner. I put his health at risk. Whatever my fears were, it wasn’t right for me to withold this information.
Mornea, I have no idea what your specific situation is, and I am sorry to sound harsh, but I would prepare myself for a disapointment if I were you. The fact that he is “taking sometime to think about whether he wants to continue seeing you” does not bode well.
And in truth, how equitable would such a relationship be if he did deign to continue seeing you? He would forever have the moral high ground, and any complaint of yours could be met with “At least I never hid anything like (blank) from you.”
He said initially he was disappointed that I didn’t tell him right away but he could understand why I would be hesitant/nervous/afraid.
HE SAID HE COULD DEAL WITH IT!!!
He said, “I still see you the same way. I respect that you told me at all. I can deal with this, I’m a big boy. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
That is true and something I didn’t consider. But based on the conversation we just had and comparing it to all the ones we’ve had in the previous months, I’m inclined to believe that he wouldn’t use this as ammunition in any future disagreement.
If it turns out that I’m wrong, then the relationship was doomed anyway. I don’t like people who continually dredge up a person’s past mistakes in an effort to make their mistakes seem insignificant. This aspect of his personality would have come out eventually even without my error.
Also, I know I made a bad decision by not telling him in the beginning. But (I feel) once we’ve discussed this and he has forgiven me then he no longer has any moral superiority to me. To me, we’re back on equal footing. I don’t intend to act as though he’s doing me a great big favor by staying with me. I think he is a wonderful person and am really excited that this didn’t end our relationship, but he isn’t any better than me because of this.
Thanks for the reply. I didn’t think you were harsh and honestly I didn’t think that he would decide to stay. I was trying to steel myself for the (what I thought was) inevitable. Waiting and hoping he would, but not really believing it would happen.
