Wow, Sav. Kudos to your husband for being an exceptional grandson. I’m forced to agree with your assessment of the situation, and I’m sending you a great big bucket of my condolences to use as you see fit.
GT, yeah just a tad. I don’t think I’ll have much time to stop in tomorrow morning, so here’s Thursday’s Fish of the Day …
wow, Savannah sounds like you and your husband are having quite a time. Best of luck to all of you, and peace to your husbands grandma, one way or the other.
FCM sorry about your friend. 
on to better things, I suppose
In my world-
Auditions went okay, I guess. I didn’t walk away feeling like I definitely had the part, but I didn’t forget the words or cry or anything either (yes, I’ve seen people cry in auditions.) or have the director say “Thank you” and dismiss me after singing two notes (that’s happened before too.) Callbacks will be posted tomorrow, and the final list goes up either Friday or Monday. Probably Monday becuase it’s oh so much fun to toy with us and prolong the tension and drama.
I have a non-its-own-thread-sized-rant.
People of the male species need to quit looking at me. That sounds really childish, I know, but seriously… Yesterday at work, one of the delivery guys told me I was sexy and touched my arm in a very “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME NOW!!” way. One of the other girls brings her (male) friends every once in a while and I always want to hide when they’re there becuase they sit there and watch me work and make loud comments like, “damn, that is a fine ass.”
This makes no sense, as I do not have a fine ass. I have a large round ass that my sisters make fun of and I hate it. I am not sexy. I’m not even pretty. i’m just a girl trying to do my job so that I can make money so that i can go to college and have health insurance.
The guys in the kitchen wolf-whistle every time I walk away from them. I thought it was annoying at first, then thought they weren’t whistling at me and must just like to whistle or something, and then today there were a group of them hanging around near closing time (including a few of their friends) and as I walked by, one of them said, (in spanish, which they all think I don’t understand.) “she’s the girl?” “yes.” and whistled as I passed. Grr. and the way he was looking at me was so gross.
It’s not like I dress like a hoochie or anything. Today I was wearing a tank top with a racerback, a sweater (not very form-fitting, with a wide neck but not off the shoulders) and non-low-rider jeans. No cleavage, no midriff, no leg, shoulder, or even arm. I don’t get it. The only reasons I can think of for the attention are that I’m the only girl who doesn’t flirt shamelessly all the time and that I’m the only white girl. I know the latter shouldn’t make a difference, but believe me, it does. it’s definitely not that I’m prettier than the other girls or have bigger boobs or any of that because I’m not and I don’t.
So tell me, my fellow MMPers, how should one deal with not-quite-harrassment in the workplace? especially if half the staff is doing it? And especially if it’s a very small place and I don’t really want everyone there to hate me?
Wow, Savannah, that’s an awful situation to be in. Your husband sounds like a wonderful and kind person. I’m sure it’s been really hard on both of you. But yes, it sounds like it should be grandma’s time. I think it’s everyone’s hope that none of us gets to a point where we have basically no quality of life. Even if she’s hateful and cranky and never expresses it, I’m sure she’s appreciated the effort your husband has made. Lots of hugs for you and your hubby.
Dorothy that’s not a fun situation. Technically it’s actual harrassment because pretty much anything that makes you uncomfortable fits the definition. (Assuming you’re in the U.S.) If you don’t have a supervisor who can ask the guys in the kitchen to tone it down, then the most practical choices are either: learn to ignore it or find a job where the situation is different.
I think you’re probably right that they’re paying more attention to you because you’re different that the rest of the women there and not paying attention to them. I’m Mexican-American and have spent lots of time with my family in Mexico. One of the things that makes me feel most foreign when I’m there is that way men and women interact. It varies by educational level, but even in my family where everyone has been to college and has a profession (everything from teacher to doctor), sexist remarks are OK and flirting is much more prevalent than it is in your average Anglo setting. (It’s one of the reasons I don’t share with them for “why I could never live there”.) To me, this makes your situation even more difficult for a boss to handle, because the guys in the kitchen aren’t going to understand why whistling could even be a big deal. Not sure that this helps you - I’m always just weirded out by how different cultures can be.
Hope Ellen’s knee is doing better. (Your gubernatorial peeing line cracked me up, by the way.)
I’m not a big Nutella fan, but I’ll bet it would be yummy in cookies. Might have to purchase it just for the cookies.
Sorry Dave is leaving, FCM. I remember your stories about him while you were in training (didn’t he give you a plant? or was it the other way around?).
Well…I need to get ready for work…
GT
Dorothy, gt’s got it right. If you can’t feel you can approach the guys boothering you, or your or their boss, then you have to live with it, fight back, or leave. It sucks, but this looks like one of those situations where there are no pretty options.
I’m getting invaded this weekend. The GF’s neice was coming down Friday, but since her car probably won’t make the 4 hour drive, her mom is coming with her. And if her mom is coming down, I’m guessing her stepfather is too. I planned on cutting down a sick cedar tree and ripping up some inappropriate juniper bushes Saturday morning. But who knows what I’ll be able to get done now. I just hope her stepfather (who is in his '30s) doesn’t expect me to get him into a local D&D game. I really don’t know any 14 year olds in my neighborhood.
So did anyone step up to the plate for next week yet? I must know since today is technically my Friday and swampy isn’t here to put it to a vote. Yes, even though my cow-orker is not here, I am still going to take my “scheduled” time off tomorrow. I think they can manage without both of us for one day. It’s not like we’re rocket scientists or brain surgeons.
savannah, bless your sweet husband for his kindness. I know how difficult it can be to care for elderly people nearing the end of life. My folks are in that boat and believe me, they are well aware of it. It can be terribly depressing for everyone. I pray for mercy for you folks.
dot, is it possible that these boys can tell how uncomfortable they make you? If so, they may be doing it to tease you. You are an actress, act like they don’t bother you at all and the payoff will be gone for them. I know we shouldn’t have to endure this crap in this day and age but sometimes you just gotta work smarter.
rifty, cod your fishy stories are hummus. 
It’s supposed to be 86 amurkin degrees tomorrow and sunny. I’m thinkin I’m gonna get me some sun in the afternoon and maybe make some sketti sauce and meaty balls for dinner. That would be good.
That is all.
Tupug
Good morning, everybody.
Savannah - kudos to your husband for doing a very unpleasant job. And to you, too, for being supportive. I totally understand how you’re feeling.
FCM - sorry about your friend. It sucks when people you like leave the job.
Dot - that really sucks. I agree with the others about your choices. Good luck!
Last night I came home and my sweet puppy Blaze’s ear was all swollen and yucky with infection. The day before it was a dime sized scab! Poor thing. I took him to the vet, and he’s on antibiotics now. He was so good while the doc and the tech were cleaning and shaving the area. Poor baby. She said I should see tons of improvement after 24 hours.
I can’t believe I forgot to post this earlier in the week! My in-laws-to-be got a new puppy last Friday, and **KeithT **sent me this incredibly adorable picture of Robbie. Isn’t he just a cutie??
This just isn’t a good week for anyone is it? I’m sorry to hear about everyone’s problems, and I hope everything turns out ok for everyone. MMPers are a tough bunch, and we’re all here for you, even if it’s just with a virtual shoulder for you to cry on.
Still nothing new on the job front even though I’ve sent out more than 35 resumes. Bleh. There’re lots of really great sounding jobs, I just can’t get anyone to think I’m a really great sounding candidate. It is still early, but man, the waiting part is tough!
**KeithT **is coming this weekend and is going to stay for a week. He’s got thesis stuff to work on so will be busy during the days while I’m at work. I can’t afford to take any more time off because I need to save it up for, hopefully, eventual interviews. It’ll be good to get to spend an extended period together though. And to see what it’s like to be together in a non-vacation setting. Hopefully it’ll go well. Or if it doesn’t, hopefully making up will be even better. 
Savvy–that is a tough one. Just abide with your husband for now–he needs one safe haven, no? I, too, have been in your position and it is hard. Let’s hope she goes swiftly and peacefully.
Rifty-how’re you gonna get that Noble Prize iffen you keep oversleeping? Just kidding-you must have needed it. Hope the paper is good.
Dorothy-I well remember those days and that is the one thing that I am grateful for with middle age(well, that and perspective on my troubles). I used to get teased as well. I didn’t have the cultural divide, but any group of young men can get ugly this way pretty quickly. What worked for me? Hmmm.
Thoughts: I do think this is happening because you are young and the only white girl(non-Spanish speaking or so they think) there. (I used to have the Mexican lawncare workers from next door peer thru our hedge into our backyard when I was out sunbathing as a teen! Nasty). You’re different and that adds to the “fun”.
Seriously, this is one of the things I hated most about being young. I used to get pt’s family members look me up and down and say stuff like, “Mmm, mm, my your mighty fine. You can be my nurse anytime!” and shit like that. It was awful.
And I bet you DO have a nice ass. Stop running yourself down. Gather some “inner poise” like Bridget Jones and put your head up high, peer down your nose at them and keep going. I hope some of these work!
Head still aches–it’s all sinus. Am much better, though. It’s nice out–about 50 and windy! Spring is coming…
Dorothy, given what GT says, you may have one other option. They might be trying to get your goat. It still sucks and you shouldn’t have to do this, or deal with this … but if you play back with them a bit, maybe they’ll ease off. They know they’re making you uncomfortable, and since perhaps they don’t see the flirting of much of a big deal at all, they think it’s funny. Try giving 'em a big wink one day and see if that helps.
Savannah, it’s so hard to go through the death of a loved one. I’ve lost all my grandparents now and even though the situations weren’t exactly like that of your husband’s grandmother, they each were difficult in other ways. It’s not terrible to pray for a peaceful end to a long life. It’s not even selfish to hope for it when the caregiver is getting exhausted. I personally believe that the grace received from aiding the dying person makes it a challenge worth taking on. Or, call it karma if you wish. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Hope Grandma’s pain ends soon.
My knee is doing nuttin. Doesn’t hurt any more or any less. Just stiff and slightly sore. Worse when I go up and down the stairs. Annoying!
el, have you switched shoes recently or have the old reliables gotten pretty run down? That might be the cause of your troubles. I know I have to replace my workout shoes when my knee or hip starts to hurt. Just a thought.
Dorothy, good luck. Being harrassed that way sucks. I don’t have any advice myself, but you should listen to the other MMPers. They give good advice.
Today I should:
Bake chocolate gingerbread
Make danish pastry dough
Tidy the livingroom
Go through the fridge and figure out what we’re eating for the next few days
Clean the bathroom
Make a vague itinerary for the weekend
Bake a loaf of two of bread? Maybe?
Right. I always get extremely fidgety in the ‘are we there yet? Huh? Are we?’ way before I have guests, so I carefully schedule myself to be so busy that I can’t spend all my time hopping up and down and whining.
Yes, I am five years old.
checking in to say SoHappyItsThursday.
**Dot ** - I ditto what everyone else has said so far. Just be careful, whatever you choose to do about it. And please let us know if you made the callback list. I’m routing for you.
**Ellen ** - have you seen your doc yet? why not? it’s not going to just “go away”. You need your knees.
**taxi ** - is this the first time you and the future Mr Taxi (yeah, when is a guy going to take the gal’s name?) will be “living” together? Use this time to work out the kinks, set the ground rules, tell each other how you like your toothpaste tube squeezed. Seriously. Because it’s those little things that will cause the big fights years from now.
**lissla ** - while you’re checking the fridge, make out that “just in case” grocery list, and kill and hour or two at the store. and don’t forget to bake some brownies. Guests love brownies.
Taxi that is an ADORABLE puppy. I want to squeeze it.
The paper turned out quite well, I think. I just handed it in, and I suppose he’ll take the break to grade them. I’m confident that I got an A, because I know that I know how to write coherent arguments. I think I killed the locality of the Universe in the process though. Oh well.
applauds
You tell 'em, rigs. That there is some kickass advice if I do say so myself (and I do).
Sorta. We’ve spent the weekend together many many times, but we’ve never done it when we’re both working and have the usual day-to-day stresses to contend with. It’s a lot easier to get along with someone when you’re both “on vacation” to some extent.
most of the time, yeah. My ex-bf and I got along great in all sits for 3 days - but by the 4th day we were each ready to kill - probably a good thing we’re ex’s now, huh.
taxi, the puppy is gorgeous. I wuv him.
I am eating my first meal (not breafast. I just didn’t have time to eat until now. Hey, I got up at 10:30) and then I will make dough for an undetermined number of loaves of bread, cinnamon buns, and batter for chocolate gingerbread. I’ll make the danish dough tonight because it has to sit in the fridge overnight. The grocery store (the one near me, which sucks) didn’t have golden syrup and they’re charging $5 for a pound of butter. This is why I usually shop with Driving Husband.
While the bread is rising I will tidy and NOT get distracted and start sewing something else. I have a lot of my surplus fabric strewn around the living room. I can’t do anything creative and be tidy at the same time.
Gah! I just stuck my foot in my mouth at work. I hate when that happens.
Quick - slosh some motuhwash! eeewww. foot.
ok I’ll stop. I can sympathize, taxi. I, too, am guilty of putting mouth in gear before brain is engaged. It’ll pass if you don’t dwell on it.
Yeah, but then we’d be deprived of a good story.
Spill it, girl.
And I, perhaps, can start the MMP next week. The in-laws-to-be are coming down for the weekend: WyldChyld, her mother (my GF’s sister) and quite possibly the husband. I’m sure there will be plenty to write about (or, I could just lie.)
