Well, I did get the hernia “turn your head and cough” check, so he held the boys for a couple of seconds. And, of course, the finger check too. So he might as well have.
To be honest, I never understood the rancor about a billionaire marrying Nicole. If I were that rich, I would certainly deserve a hot trophy wife, like mid-90s Anna Nichole Smith.
When I’m “amorously engaged” with my hot Playboy model, do I really care that she’s only in it for the money? It’s not like I picked her for her charming personality.
I had the weirdest feeling I’ve ever had regarding a celebrities death. Some don’t affect me at all (the vast, vast, majority really…cue standard ‘of course it is sad when anyone dies’ response) and some affect me a great deal (John Candy and John Ritter come to mind) but ANS’s death hit me as though I was watching a movie in which I knew the ending before it was coming. My honest reaction to her death was, “I suppose that makes sense”. Then I changed the channel.
I have nothing against the lady, I’m sure she was nice, and my sympathy goes out to any loved ones she may have.
I sure mangled that up; let me take a crack at the first sentence again…
I had the weirdest feeling after I found out about this celebrity death.
Wait, you remember the name of a guy who gave you a MEPS physical 24 years ago?
I got my physical done a month and a half ago, and I don’t even remember the guy’s name. Either you’ve got a hell of a brain, or Dr. Perper gave some badass physicals in his day. 
How on Earth can you remember that? I went into the Navy in 1989, and my visit to the Atlanta MEPS is lost in the chasms of my memory.
C’mon. It’s the name. He got a physical from Dr. Perper. It’s right there between the name of a soft drink and having to point to the dolly to show what the bad man did. It’s memorable.
The cause of death remains unknown.
No, Zilla, you could afford her. Not quite the same thing.
No pills were found in her stomach which shoots my suicide theory to hell.
this train might be somewhat wrecked, but it hasn’t reached the end of its journey.
yep, poor little girl. once she is able to understand what happened in her early life, she will have quite a lot to deal with. she will find out:
a. her brother died shortly after her birth. she is named for him.
b. there was a very public and rather bitter paternity dispute.
c. mom dies in odd circumstances.
d. people crawled out of the woodwork to try to gain custody of her.
her best chance may be adoption by an amish couple. at least her classmates and their parents would have no idea of the whoopla involved.
with the people around her, who on earth would you award custody to? zaa-zaa and her husband? “husband” stern? exboyfriend?
she is going to have a tough time just dealing with her own thoughts and feelings on all this. not to mention the taunting of classmates.
Why not give her to Madonna? Then all this will seem normal to her! 
I don’t think that 8 year olds will have any idea who Anna Nicole Smith was in 8 years. Before their time and her 15 minutes expired in the 90s, leaving her famous for having been famous since then.
I wonder how long it will take for all the commemorative stuff to start popping up. I bet there will be atleast one doll. Commemorative plates would be interesting.
their parent would know who a.n.s. was. little pitchers have big ears, recorders for brains, and no gags on their mouths. taunting will occur. unless she is in a boarding cloistered school.
Huh. Your live genitals or her dead breasts. It’s hard to imagine which would have been more disturbing for the good doctor. 
Of course, there wouldn’t be pills if the drugs causing an overdose had been, say, slipped into a drink.
Disturbingly, I was wondering how long it would be before someone rewrote Candle in the Wind for her.
Do you know anyone who could afford something and didn’t buy it because they thought they were undeserving of it?
“Well, I’ve wanted that fast sports car, but seeing as I can only afford it because I won the lottery, I really don’t deserve it.” Umm, yeah, not likely.
For those of you who thought (wrongly!) that this story could not get more bizarre, Anna Nichol’s half-sister is saying the baby was conceived with semen from Anna Nicole’s dead husband!
The coroner said that they frequently find no pills in the stomach of a suicide. It’s the blood levels that will determine if she ingested too much dope.