But how’s your health plan? And do I get to eat three times a day? I think the Rebel Dopers’ Alliance was offering dental–could I get that from your dictatorship? (No offense, Leechbabe, but you jumped sides and I had just gotten use to being a bad guy. Bad guys usually have better outfits and scantily-clad women who just want to use you for your power. Since I’m not looking for anything in a long-term relationship, I feel that’s okay with me.)
Atreyu,
I laugh in the face of your farts. Your rancid aroma will never distract me from my mission.
I note that the majority of applications in this thread have been to join the Rebel Dopers’ Alliance.
Swayed by promises of chocolate and boobies (and probably chocolate boobies) you all flock to an association of half-witted, semi-naked idiots who seem to be too busy squabbling over the scraps of the leftovers from my banquet of power to notice that my World Domination Army has eaten you alive, complemented the chef, and then done the dishes.
Fools.
Both Supremely and Excellently Yours
Splutter
OK, we have two options:
- We unleash our mightiest boobies to seduce Spoofe; or
b) We destroy his secret shield generator using an army of teddy bears.
Any other suggestions?
Hmmm… ::brings out tape measure:::
Mm-hmmh, mmmmm-hmh, yeah, okay.
Prop department, we’ll need a bigger toaster oven! Pronto!
Okay, who let this guy on the set?
::Leads SPOOFE aside and shows him map of the known galaxy::
Okay, you see this quadrant here? The one with all the stained underpants icons? That’s your sandbox. See this quadrant aaaaalllllll the way over here? That’s the Alpha quadrant where we’re standing now. And you’re in the shot. We clear?
::hands him a Danish and coffee::
Now scoot before I call security.
Alright, let’s get back to business. Res, I believe you were about to inspect some boobies. Take 2.
Horseflesh, we’re cool. I know agentfroot IRL and the toaster oven was just big enough to fit. Better tell continuity to delete the word “small”, though
:: Strikes suitably regal pose ::
By the way, b]Splutter**, were this the Pit I would tell the noble warriors of the Rebel Doper Alliance exactly what that copy of Truly Tasteless Jokes was covered in. Come to the light side and get yourself some real women.
::Tosses head regally ans struts off stage right. ::
CJ
And trips over bad coding along the way snicker
What? I didn’t say anything!
I’ve sworn my allegiance to Bobkitty and Scylla somewhere here so… uh… Actually, I don’t think they’d object if I try overthrowing Splutter’s evil scheme, seeing as it just might have a slim chance of nudging Scylla’s out of the spotlight. Besides, he’s a n00b, and a n00b who has “viscious” shark/hyena/camel hybrids, to boot.
I’ll be basking on that statue’s head out there if anyone needs me. Toodles!
P.S. I’m female. With rather nice boobies. Just letting you know. 
I have boobies can I join in?
Anyone wanna inspect them to ensure they are up to the high standard set by leechbabe?
::Grabs ems by the arm and escorts her over to ResIpsaLoquitor’s trailer::
::banging on door:: Hey Res, we got another one that needs ‘inspecting’. You free?
[muffled voice] “No! This damn Truly Tasteless Jokes book is stuck in my hair. Tell my understudy Brahesilver to give her a go. Fuck it! Where’s the scissors?” [/muffled voice]
Uh-huh. This way, miss.
Whoohoo!!
Part of the Rebel Doper Alliance at last - I knew I would get accepted around here somehow if only I had known earlier it involved boobies…
Er, now don’t count your boobies before they’re hatched. Or something.
The boobie inspectors haven’t given their approval. (Where is that Brahesilver anyways?)
Well, if I gotta, I gotta. ::Flexes fingers::
Oooooo - OK go on then in the absence of the official inspector. I am also sitting eating chocolate (it is Sunday afternoon) so I can offer that as a bribe as well
So some wannabe overlord pops in here and asserts that he is now in charge and look what happens? People get in a dither, form an alliance to fight an imaginary threat, and then become obsessed with chocolate and boobies. Wait… they were already obsessed with chocolate and boobies, Splutter is only responsible for the dither.
This is why I am so much better suited to be the Almighty, Handsome and Benovolent Dictator (A.H.B.D.) around here. Although I get just as distracted by chocolate and boobies as the next guy, I can remain calm and focussed when these little upstarts show up.
Splutter… your overthrow has failed but I will thank you for spawning a two page thread on the aforementioned chocolate and boobies. For that, we will let you live.
[Astroboy14] MMMM… Chocolate covered boobies![/Astroboy14]
[sup] Wait… do I need to channel myself?[/sup]
Feynn, you gotta become his apprentice and THEN overthrow Splutter.
In the meantime, all Rebels are to report for boobie inspection at 0900 hours tomorrow, in the mead hall. That is all.
awright! a bigger toaster oven! now i can fit in twice as much garlic bread! licks lips
hey, boobie inspector, what are you doing? HEY! hands off! thwack that’s a no-touchy area! um, excuse me… my inspector kinda… fell… can i have another one? i want that guy over there! the short one with the green eyes and wavy dark hair holding the can of chocolate and paint brush…
hmmm, if i have bad boobies, can i trade them in for new ones?
Yo! Horseflesh and ems! Over here!
Ol’ Master Res annexed my usual office (something about an indoor street luge park, he said) and reassigned me to this one down the hall. Don’t mind the smell from the kitchens, you stop noticing it in a few minutes.
Okay, say “ah…” Now say “oh…” Now turn your head and jump on that trampoline there for a couple seconds… all right, we’re done here; you pass the Quagmire test. Take this form down to Costuming and get yourself a uniform. Next!
I love my job.
[Family Guy]Heh. Heh. Alllllllll… riiiiiiight.[/FG]
There seems little point in establishing a three letter abbreviation (herein known as a TLA) unless you plan to use refer to the term more than once.
I don’t suppose the throne will even have time to warm up.
The only “bad” boobies are the ones not covered in thick, creamy chocolate. With a cherry on top. Mmmmmm, cherries. <drool> Oh, excuse me.
All boobie endowed Rebels please report to Makeup for chocolate enhancement at least one hour prior to muster in the mead hall.
And where is that Splutter? I need him to try on this Dark Helmet for size.
::Looking at a prop geek walking up brandishing a prop for approval::
No, that is NOT a toaster oven. That would be a waffle iron. Alright, who’s in charge of the prop shop? Geeez.
puff puff puff - sorry all I got distracted by arrangements for my new puppy, now whats happening?
Have we quashed the dark evil?
::looks around and notices all boobies now covered in chocolate with cherries on top::
Heck I’m not gonna be left out of the fun here. Although I’m not all that partial to cherries can I get mine done in strawberries please?